Age gaps in relationships, how much is too much?

[Bobbity]

Yeah. a sixteen year old with a nineteen year old is pretty creepy :S

Otherwise, I'm not sure. Maybe within one/two years from nineteen down, but after that, it'd open up a little.

 

[GrimTuesday]

There's this guy in my DnD group who is a bit older than me (I'm 19 he's almost 20), his girlfriend just turned 16, which to me is really creepy. He doesn't seem to get it because he seems to think that because he is still in high school it's ok (He should have graduated two years ago, I graduated last year).

Around that age, I don't think that's creepy. You'll find a lot of first and second year college students dating high school girls. Its pretty common. Now, if she was fourteen, that would be odd. But four years I don't think is too bad.

In your high school were there any seniors dating freshmen? Same age difference. The only difference here is that he's out of school.

I don't know, when I see older guys going out with significantly younger girls (a four year gap is pretty big at my age) something just doesn't sit well with me. It would be one thing if she were a junior or a senior, but if she was a freshmen when I graduated, she was an 8th grader when he should have graduated.

And no, seniors dating freshmen was frowned upon at my high school, not by the teachers or administration, but by the students themselves.

Really? Hmm. They weren't the most common thing when I was in high school, but they certainly weren't frowned upon. I just don't see four years as all that much. At that age, anything more than four years I could agree to, but if they have potential to be in the same school at the same time, which if my math is correct they did, then I don't see a problem with it.

Different strokes, I guess. Four years never really bothered me that much (though I have lied about it in the past as an excuse to avoid a relationship. Kind of hypocritical, I know). My grandparents were fifteen years apart (they didn't marry until they were like, 30 and 45), so I guess I kind of grew up not really seeing an issue.

Had he not been held back twice, he would have graduated the year before me, I was one of the older people in my grade and he was one of the younger people in his grade.(when I say almost 20 I mean in a couple of months, the cut off is in late august) they would never have been in high school together.

Like I said, age differences become less of an issue the older you get, but at this stage in my life, I see four years as too big a gap.

 

[Leg End]

There is no such thing as "too much" in this case. :/

Though, depending on where you live, sexual activity may be illegal. :L

But, in any case...

No sex, no problem. XD

Well, for some people, that is a problem. >.>

 

[ks1234]

4 years is nothing dude. WTF.

Maybe in America with their backwards sexual lower age legislation it's "one of those things" where culture steers your judgement, but I know a few couples where one is 16 and the other as old as 25-27.

So, my answer is another question: is it legal if you assume sexual activity is involved? And for most of the world, yes it is. (Age of consent in Japan is 12????)

Once your 30 or over, ten years is okay. If you're younger, don't go for more than 5 years. If one is under 18 and your more than 3 years older, it's wrong.

Says who?

I mean, pedophiles don't think it's wrong but hey, pedophiles are people too!
On a similar note; what does... lets say, a 25 year old and a 16 year old have in common? Their horny, thats about it.
When I was 22 I met a girl who just turned 18 and she was a senior in highschool..
And then she started talking about prom and "advanced placement classes"
I just felt to ... wrong to keep talking to her
Even though she was completely legal, it still felt just wrong BUT I think it's fine for a 17-18 year old guy to be with a 22-23 year old woman, why? I have no idea but it just doesn't seem as bad. Maybe because i'm a guy? lol

 

[sopherera]

Below 18 and all age differences above 2 years seems weird. Just looking back at how you used to be at that age just makes it wrong. Ofc there are exceptions, but generally it appears pretty wrong.

 

[Tyrant T100]

Depends entirely on the age really. If one of them is still in their teens I would be totally against one being much older but a few years causes no harm if they're both over the age of consent.
That's why it's bad before then because the older male will typically try and force the girl to have sex.
However once the girls 18 and the male may be a few years older I really don't see any harm in it as she should be mentally mature enough then to make the right choices.

 

[AgDr_ODST]

Im 20 and I was/am interested in this girl who's 16 or 17 and according to most anyone I ask (including me when im thinking to myself) the idea of me and her dating would be abit of a stretch due to the age gap. That ontop of the fact that A) I don't think her mother is letting her date yet and B) im atleast halfway sure shes not interested in me the way I am into her.

 

[Paksenarrion]

It's weird. I'm 5 years older than my bf, but I look 5 years younger than him.

People mistake me for some kind of loli death machine...

 

[hashinta]

(Age of consent in Japan is 12????)

Those maps are out of date, japan changed there legislation due to pressure from the US, you have to be married now.

Also I'd spoiler them pics if I were you.

They did have a change of legislation but I have no idea where you heard that you had to be married. It's been changed so that the age of consent is still varied between prefectures however both parties have to be within an age limit ie no 30yo's bonking 13yo's.

 

[dbmountain]

In my opinion, as long as both members of the relationship are above the age of 20, there are no age boundaries. At this age, the differences physical and mental maturity are negligible. In contrast, if you regard a relationship between say, a 16 year old girl and a 22 year old man, the maturity levels between the two are undeniably different.

 

[AlexNora]

in my opinion witch is extremely bias 99% of 18 year olds and under are not ready to date. everyone older can decide for themselves but id say 5-7 years at best

 

[Torrasque]

It's creepy.

Made worse by his apparent lack of graduating skills.

17 and below are for people 17 and below.

Honestly don't even see the appeal of such a thing. Women who aren't old enough to buy booze usualy make my head hurt (no offense to that group, I guess I'm just too damn old).

Personally, I think its creepy if the girl is under 18, and the guy is over 20.
It really depends on maturity though. I have met some really mature 16 year olds, and some very immature 26 year olds (of both sexes).
I still think a girl should only date kids her own age until she is 18 though, because no matter how mature a girl seems at 15, she doesn't have the world-knowledge she needs to deal with guys that are 3+ years older than her.

Call me old fashioned, but I can't stand girls that still think the world they live in is jr. high/high school.
Fuck that makes me feel old =|

 

[Gudrests]

It's creepy.

Made worse by his apparent lack of graduating skills.

17 and below are for people 17 and below.

Honestly don't even see the appeal of such a thing. Women who aren't old enough to buy booze usualy make my head hurt (no offense to that group, I guess I'm just too damn old).

Yeahhh gotta agree here. The lack of graduating makes him the creeping senior who dated the freshman and never graduated and is probably dragging her down to herp derp land as well...and it looks quite bad for both of them and will skew her view of men for quite a while.

 

[Gordon_4_v1legacy]

There's this guy in my DnD group who is a bit older than me (I'm 19 he's almost 20), his girlfriend just turned 16, which to me is really creepy. He doesn't seem to get it because he seems to think that because he is still in high school it's ok (He should have graduated two years ago, I graduated last year).

So do you think? is it creepy or am I just being a little oversensitive? Also, what do you see as an acceptable age difference in a relationship, keeping in minde that different age difference are appropriate at different age.

provided it isn't breaking the law, I have two questions:

1-Has he done anything genuinely strange or threatening to this girl?

2-If he hasn't, how the hell is it your business?


People are weird. Get used to that; sometimes a genuine loving relationship will crop up in the weirdest of scenarios. If what he was doing was illegal, or if you suspected foul play, I'd like to think you would have involved the cops by now.

If however the age difference is the only genuine red flag, I suggest you keep it yourself and leave them be.

 

[GrimTuesday]

There's this guy in my DnD group who is a bit older than me (I'm 19 he's almost 20), his girlfriend just turned 16, which to me is really creepy. He doesn't seem to get it because he seems to think that because he is still in high school it's ok (He should have graduated two years ago, I graduated last year).

So do you think? is it creepy or am I just being a little oversensitive? Also, what do you see as an acceptable age difference in a relationship, keeping in minde that different age difference are appropriate at different age.

Generalizations are fun and meaningful!

Maybe she's a particularly mature 16 year old?

I'm not making generalizations, I know both of them, therefore it is not a generalization, but an observation.

I would say that for a 16 year old, she is fairly mature, but he is by no means mature.

 

[GrimTuesday]

There's this guy in my DnD group who is a bit older than me (I'm 19 he's almost 20), his girlfriend just turned 16, which to me is really creepy. He doesn't seem to get it because he seems to think that because he is still in high school it's ok (He should have graduated two years ago, I graduated last year).

So do you think? is it creepy or am I just being a little oversensitive? Also, what do you see as an acceptable age difference in a relationship, keeping in minde that different age difference are appropriate at different age.

provided it isn't breaking the law, I have two questions:

1-Has he done anything genuinely strange or threatening to this girl?

2-If he hasn't, how the hell is it your business?


People are weird. Get used to that; sometimes a genuine loving relationship will crop up in the weirdest of scenarios. If what he was doing was illegal, or if you suspected foul play, I'd like to think you would have involved the cops by now.

If however the age difference is the only genuine red flag, I suggest you keep it yourself and leave them be.

I don't know if they are having sex or not, but if they are, it is illegal as he is over 18. Its not so much things he has done with/to this girl, but more what I know of his last few relationships, he is incredibly immature.

And no, it's not my place to tell them what to do, which is why I keep it to myself, but it's still creepy to me.