Nantucket said:
But I was raised in a family with two brothers who were raised to have a good work ethic. Whereas my brothers were never expected to do their laundry, make their beds or clean their bedrooms: I was. And yes it was because I was a woman. My mother told me at some point in life I would marry and the man would work all week, like my own dad, and someone would have to look after him and whatever kids came along. Like I sad, I was raised in a strict Conservatory family.
That sounds terrible to me, cruel even. I was raised in a family where if you made a mess, you cleaned it up. What you did you were responsible for. We were all expected to share the work, and all expected to help each other. We operated on a system of respect and responsibility, not on hierarchy and "duties." If there was any duty it was to do whatever needed to be done. Nobody was too high or low for any job, and every job that needed to be done was within everyone's jurisdiction.
I mean, what did your brothers do when they moved out? Did they know how to make beds? Did they leave them unmade all the time? Or do they not move out until they've got a wife to do that? I hope this doesn't sound too insulting, but I don't get how you can raise someone to be a functioning human being that way. It doesn't make sense. You can't function in the real world properly if you don't know how to live without someone to make your bed. I have a friend who's a nurse who's been working with a lot of old people, and she says that's actually a big problem with old men. They get in that "you do this and I do that" lifestyle and if their wife dies first they don't know what to do with themselves. Their family put them in nursing homes because they don't know how to cook a nutritious meal, or they just stop cleaning and doing their wash.
My mom and dad both worked, and both still work, and I have no idea how we would have made it if they hadn't. I don't even understand how that's financially possible, especially these days, at least without giving up a lot of my current standard of living. I feel like that sort of a lifestyle would only be living half a life, and not even the half that belongs to me. I know I shouldn't, but I do feel sorry for you. I promise I'm usually not this pejorative, but this is something I was raised with and one of the few things I simply cannot understand the opposite of. There are so many things I understand. I can understand some people enjoy polyamorous relationships, I understand some people like a drink to unwind, I understand some people enjoy recreational drugs. But I simply cannot understand this. There is no upside to living like that, living to be half a human requiring another half just so you can function properly. If there's any approach to life I would call unnatural and upsetting, it would be that.