Allow me to introduce myself....

[MrCollins]

I'm MrCollins, and I have a deer head mounted on my wall.

Wallet.

 

[Headsprouter]

I'm Headsprouter, and, oh what's that? You lost your purse? WALLET better turn up, soon!

[small]..just gonna let that sit for a second..[/small]

burnt toast.

 

[Fijiman]

I'm Fijiman and I am not a monkey.

Giant robots

 

[Fijiman]

I'm Fijiman and I do not smoke.

silly avatars

 

[thesilentman]

Silly? Pfffffff, far cry from me, Silent.

The most horrible person you can think of.

 

[Anti-American Eagle]

I'm Eagle, and Orenthal Manson Hitler is the worst person I can think of.

Japan

 

[MrCollins]

I'm MrCollins, 3rd cousin of the nephew of the great grandson of the last emperor of Japan.

Chopsticks.

 

[staika]

I'm staika and I do not recommend chopsticks

sword

 

[Headsprouter]

I'm Headsprouter and I'd prefer a western-style sword of sensible size.

horse.

 

[kailus13]

I'm kailus, and I prefer ponies to horses.

Tissues

 

[Anti-American Eagle]

I'm Eagle, and I start my fires with tissues... and gasoline... and my lighter

Badgers

 

[Headsprouter]

I am Headsprouter and report show a high level of badger gangs, mushroom groups and...wait...this just in! There are also snakes!

Dog biscuit.

 

[kailus13]

I'm kailus, and I want to feed Headsprouter a dog biscuit. *throws dog biscuit at Headsprouter*

Giants

 

[Headsprouter]

*nom* Thank you!

I am Headsprouter, and I hear giants approaching!

 

[Fijiman]

I'm Fijiman and I'm... not quite sure what I'm supposed to talk about.

sledgehammer

 

[Anti-American Eagle]

I'm Eagle and I throw sledgehammers at mirrors for fun.

Mirror images.

 

[thesilentman]

Ho Ho Ho. I now have multiple images of myself! Sincerely yours, Silent.

Handheld paper cutters.

 

[Teoes]

Hello, I'm Teoes-scissorhands and yes these are handheld paper cutters. Worry not - they are of the safety variety.

Silent but violent.