Allow me to introduce myself....

[Fijiman]

I am Fijiman and I shall use lightning to create explosions right next to username sucks' face.

couldn't be bothered

 

[God'sFist]

Good evening my name is God'sFist and I couldn't be bothered to tell you the details.

destroying a planet

 

[Teoes]

Hi everyone, I'm Teoes and the court said that for destroying a planet I should do some community service and attend these meetings.

Sandstorm

 

[Anti-American Eagle]

I'm Eagle and I wear goggles during sandstorms, because I don't like having silicon particles fly into my eyes and blind me.

Jury Duty

 

[twidget]

I'm twidget and nobody wants Jury Duty, unless the trial is near that place with the really good 'burgers.

anchovy paste

 

[God'sFist]

Good evening my name is God'sFist and I don't want anchovy paste

random anime

 

[username sucks]

My username sucks and my eyes were damaged, so now everything looks like it's from some random anime.

you don't know

 

[Teoes]

Hi, I'm Teoes and you don't know what I was doing five minutes ago with the hand that you just shook.

Sticky

 

[Anti-American Eagle]

I'm Eagle and I wear gloves around sticky things.

The horrifying truth behind ducks.

 

[username sucks]

My username sucks and I just discovered the horrifying truth of humanity behind a pile of ducks.

only one

 

[Fijiman]

I'm Fijiman and I don't know if I'm username sucks' only nemesis.

that one guy

 

[username sucks]

My username sucks and that one guy on Off-topic, who I shan't name, is a much more serious nemesis to me than Fijiman. I'm afraid to post there anymore because of him.

dark corner

 

[Fijiman]

I'm Fijiman and I'm not paranoid about most things.

username sucks

 

[Kitsune Hunter]

I'm Kitsune Hunter and I know that username sucks and Fijiman really love each other very much

Time

 

[Morsomk_v1legacy]

I'm Morsomk and I don't have the time to fight epic space battles with Skid McMarx.

Button

 

[Neuromancer]

'Tis I, Neuromancer, and if thou tryeth to press the button I swear that thy hand shall drop.

Bouncing Kitsunes.

 

[Fijiman]

I'm Fijiman and I don't have time neuromancer's strange fantasies.

Burger run

 

[Morsomk_v1legacy]

I'm the almighty Zigzagoon Morsomk and I invite you on a burger run with me!

sleeping on the floor.

 

[Kitsune Hunter]

I'm Kitsune Hunter and sleeping on beds is too mainstream *puts on hipster glasses*

Ice

 

[Morsomk_v1legacy]

I'm Morsomk and I can use Ice Beam!

Fire