Allow me to introduce myself....

[Fijiman]

I'm Fijiman and hipster is an incredibly stupid word.

MYAAH!

 

[Teoes]

I'm MYAAH! and MYAAAH! MYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Ball-gag

 

[username sucks]

My username sucks and I have no interest in using ball-gags. I prefer to hear the screams.

treasure chest

 

[Kitsune Hunter]

My name is Kitsune Hunter and this is my treasure, no one else's you hear, MY TREASURE CHEST!

Diamonds

 

[username sucks]

My username sucks and I can swing my sword, sword, sword my diamond sword, sword! [sub](why did you have to make me think of that?[/sub]

Sideburns

 

[Kae]

I'm a person thing and I once had sideburns so long they touched my shoulders O_O

Thumb sized people dancing on top of a trash can.

 

[Neuromancer]

'Tis I, Neuromancer, and I haven't gotten stoned or insane enough(yet) to see thumb sized people dancing on top of a trash can.

Jäger.

 

[Fijiman]

I'm Fijiman and I got the moves like Jäger.

the manly man whose manly man manness is manly maned by manly man men

 

[Morsomk_v1legacy]

I am Morsomk and I am the manly man whose manly man manness is manly maned by manly man men of the chicken noodle stream!

Chicken

 

[Fijiman]

I'm Fijiman,*insert something about chicken*

farting in public

 

[Neuromancer]

'Tis I, Neuromancer, and don't blame me if you get stared at for farting in public.

Back end of forever.

 

[Morsomk_v1legacy]

'Lo and Behold, The incredible Morsomk has arrived and I am going to put you into the back end of forever strawberry pastry filled with cute little critters that will rip you a new anus!

Magic!

 

[Anti-American Eagle]

I'm Eagle and Magic is a tool, lost but not forgotten.

The internet.

 

[Headsprouter]

I am Headsprouter, and I use the internet for a lot of things.

Nutella.

 

[Teoes]

I'm Teoes and Nutella actually contacted me to ask that I not be seen in public using their product in such a fashion.

Ads in the News Room forum.

 

[Morsomk_v1legacy]

I'm Morsomk and I'm not the guy that constantly puts ads in the news room forum, that is Ted.

Bacon shmagon

 

[Fijiman]

I, Fijiman, have no idea what a bocon shmagon is, but I hope it is delishious because bacon.

Hospitals

 

[Anti-American Eagle]

I'm Eagle, and I love hospitals... until I have to go to one.

Screaming in tongues

 

[Teoes]

I'm Teoes and rather than call in sick if I can't be arsed with work, I just scream in tongues until they send me away. Works like a charm.

Gooseberry jam.

 

[twidget]

I'm twidget and nothing goes better on a buttered English muffin than Gooseberry jam!

pennant race