Alright you nitwits, give me your best insults!

[Drathnoxis]

I want you chittering chuckleheads to dig deep and use your meager wits and feeble grasp on the English language to weave the absolute best insults that your limited intellects will allow. Use your eloquence to forge weapons of wit that cut like a razor and burn like scalding oil.

Feel free to direct your scathing invectives at the OP, for a target. It's okay, I can take it, I won't cry much.

Just remember to keep this thread good natured, leave all your baggage at the door. You can call someone a "vacuous, toffy-nosed, malodorous, pervert!", just don't make it a serious personal attack, if you know what I mean. You nincompoop.

EDIT: As the above says, remember that this thread is more about fun than genuine intent to insult or hurt. Please keep that in mind when posting. -Mod

 

[Queen Michael]

Why would I let you learn my best insults, you walking argument for retroactive abortion?

 

[bartholen_v1legacy]

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries.

Nice attention whoring there bro, has your dad come back from his "trip" yet?

Oh.

Well, no surprise considering he produced the kind of afterbirth who'd beg for people to notice them on an anonymous internet forum. I mean, how fucking desperate are you? This is, in honest, the most desperate measure I can think of how one can measure their self-worth. It kind of tells a lot about you, you know. I'd say I'd never want to meet someone like you in real life, but chances are you're so utterly boring and unworthy of giving even an ounce of thought about that I couldn't even notice you if you were right next to my face. Like, I'd despise you, if I bothered to give you any thought in the first place.

 

[Asita]

I smell an opportunity to link a video or two. Given that I've linked these before, I'm sure that somebody out there nose what I mean.

Spoiler

And believe me, I empathize with those two. It's so frustrated to be surrounded by dithering nitwits lacking in eloquence, intellect, and humility. I swear, I think my dog provides more stimulating conversation than the nincompoop I met the other night. But enough about your mom...

...Obligatory follow up:

Spoiler

 

[Zontar]

Why would I let you learn my best insults, you walking argument for retroactive abortion?

That insult was so underdeveloped Planned Parenthood sold it to stem cell research.

 

[Souplex]

Your mother is so fat that she appeals to my secret fetish?
Your mother is so fat that she has a high risk of type-2 diabetes and heart disease?
Your mind is so simple that you can fully comprehend it even with your simplistic mind?
...It's been a long time since I've been in a setting where childish insults without overt hostile intent were acceptable.

 

[Silentpony_v1legacy]

You think Melissa McCarthy is funny.

 

[blue heartless]

May God one day bless you with the gift of searching for your children with a Geiger counter.

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

You think Melissa McCarthy is funny.

Oh man, too far. I should report you for that.

Flagrant piss addict always made me laugh. I can't remember where I first heard it, but it's amazing.

 

[Silentpony_v1legacy]

SNIP

Believe me, it hurt me just as much to type the f-word and McCarthy in the same sentence.

 

[Drathnoxis]

You call these insults? I've gotten worse burns from an easy bake oven! I've seen preschoolers who possess sharper wits than you lot.

 

[FPLOON]

Your mother has a job and is a respected member of the community...
Your father got a divorce because he could not keep his hands off of me...
Your sister is your mom's real drug dealer...
Your brother starred in RENT because he totally has aids...
And I don't like Yu because that swagger's Mi the whole time!

 

[Jingle Fett]

You love Jar Jar Binks!

 

[Arnoxthe1]

But serious personal attacks are the most cutting.

And...

ur geh

 

[davidmc1158_v1legacy]

Some insults that I favor are:

Fuck you, the horse you rode in on, the blacksmith that shoe'ed it and his entire Goddamn family!

A favorite for when I road rage is: Limp dick dog-fucker!

And for an all-around insult: Son of a motherless whore

 

[F-I-D-O]

You couldn't pour water out of a boot with the instructions on the heel.

Also, butt-weasel. Considering how much I regularly swear, having a PG-rated goofy insult is useful and almost better.

 

[Godzillarich(aka tf2godz)]

does a video count?