1. she is NOT in a wrong for doing it. it is her own choice and noone can tell her what to do. its not like shes bearing his child or anything?Yoshi4507 said:So, I'm currently seeing this girl quite often. Friends with benefits thing. Its amazing, dont get me wrong. The only problem though is that she has a boyfriend. To make it better, we are all coworkers. Luckily he doesnt know, but has suspicion. I know she is in the wrong for doing it, but whats bugging me is " how wrong am I in comparison"? At the moment all I can think of is I, m not the one cheating, she is, hes a real d-bag to her anyway, and me always coming to that conclusion is whats bothering me. Whos more wrong?
If he treats her wrong, she needs to actually turn round and end this relationship with him. Chances are he isn't as bad as you think however and shes simply painting him in a bad light to justify her own actions (which in turn you're using to justify your actions as well).Yoshi4507 said:-snip-
There is no excuse for what you are doing, you are actually just as wrong as her, since you know her boyfriend, and continue to do it as well.Yoshi4507 said:So, I'm currently seeing this girl quite often. Friends with benefits thing. Its amazing, dont get me wrong. The only problem though is that she has a boyfriend. To make it better, we are all coworkers. Luckily he doesnt know, but has suspicion. I know she is in the wrong for doing it, but whats bugging me is " how wrong am I in comparison"? At the moment all I can think of is I, m not the one cheating, she is, hes a real d-bag to her anyway, and me always coming to that conclusion is whats bothering me. Whos more wrong?
I would say the opposite. I stay away from these sort of threads, but I'm pleased that many people are condemning him.Strazdas said:Now i read thoguh other posts, and i am disappointed in humanity again.....
right now im weighing my options on how far i can go without invoking a warning for insults.Frission said:I would say the opposite. I stay away from these sort of threads, but I'm pleased that many people are condemning him.Strazdas said:Now i read thoguh other posts, and i am disappointed in humanity again.....
I don't really understand why anyone would need to ask if they're in the wrong. Wouldn't proper human interaction tell you that is a very cruel and dishonorable thing to do? Not to mention highly risky considering that they're both coworkers?
I would be more scared, if no one here cared.
did you just really compared sleeping with a woman that has a "boyfriend" to giving murderer a loaded weapon? i am at a loss of words for this stupidity.vashthblackseed said:Think of it this way:
If you buy a gun, load it. Hand it to someone else knowing they will kill as many people with it as possible with it. Are you responsible for those deaths?
and that is relevant in a "Friends with benefits" relationship how?Vegosiux said:Well, you know what they say, if they cheat with you, don't be surprised when they cheat on you.
Hey, I'm all for being progressive. What goes in the bedchamber is normally between people, but hiding it is a bit of dick move. At least have the basic human decency of telling the guy.Strazdas said:right now im weighing my options on how far i can go without invoking a warning for insults.Frission said:I would say the opposite. I stay away from these sort of threads, but I'm pleased that many people are condemning him.Strazdas said:Now i read thoguh other posts, and i am disappointed in humanity again.....
I don't really understand why anyone would need to ask if they're in the wrong. Wouldn't proper human interaction tell you that is a very cruel and dishonorable thing to do? Not to mention highly risky considering that they're both coworkers?
I would be more scared, if no one here cared.
and i guess that says it better than anything else.
It seems that i am the only person on the escapist that does not think he is in the wrong. ANd this is a website that i always kept as progressive and smart. I guess the society wasnt changing as fast as i hoped for.
Like i said, hiding it is the only wrong thing in my opinion. Cheating is irrelevant. It is up to a woman and a man to have agreed upon sex whenever and with whoever they want. Hiding it from your boyfriend/husband is, obviuosly, not a good thing. however the act itself is the choice of the two and the boyfriend has NO SAY in it.Frission said:Hey, I'm all for being progressive. What goes in the bedchamber is normally between people, but hiding it is a bit of dick move. At least have the basic human decency of telling the guy.
I also have the impression that alot of people here have been cheated on and believe me, that is not a pleasant thing to undergo.
Actually, you're not, technically. There have been people on the thread who have said only the female is wrong so there's that.Strazdas said:right now im weighing my options on how far i can go without invoking a warning for insults.
and i guess that says it better than anything else.
It seems that i am the only person on the escapist that does not think he is in the wrong. And this is a website that i always kept as progressive and smart. I guess the society wasnt changing as fast as i hoped for.
To me, that only says you're so insecure about your opinions you can't even disagree with a person without insulting them and have to constantly seek validation while fighting opposing viewpoints with tooth and claw as to not have to second-guess yourself.Strazdas said:right now im weighing my options on how far i can go without invoking a warning for insults.
and i guess that says it better than anything else.
That's such a pretentiously pathetic expression.and that is relevant in a "Friends with benefits" relationship how?
Strazdas said:Yeah, of course it is not a pleasant thing, when you look upon your partner as an item that "Belongs to you" and think her/him cannot think of herself and do what they want. Society endorses such "ownership", and the result we got, well, you can see in this thread.
That really depends on what you consider cheating. if you were to define it, then i could answer more correctly.game-lover said:Might I ask why, though? You at least consider it cheating, right? Even the people who say it's not their responsibility to police anyone's relationship know cheating is a relatively wrong decision. They just think if you're the person someone is cheating with, it's not on you because you're not the one who made the promise to be faithful.
Or is it that you don't consider it cheating unless they're married? Or she's "bearing his children" as you so put it?
All that aside, No the boyfriend can't exactly tell his girlfriend what to do in that whole literal sense. But he can dump her ass which he'd have every right to do. I look at it like this. If you're in a relationship with someone and you do something that this someone decides or would decide to dump you for, chances are it's the wrong thing to do. It's also the whole promise that tends to come with the agreement to be exclusive thing.
If she's not wrong for the act, then she's wrong for being a liar who can't keep a promise and can't be trusted. You have to at least admit that. And if the boyfriend has NO say in who his girlfriend is fucking. Then she has NO say in what he does as a response.
I fully agree that the "boyfriend" has full right to dump the girl in such situation. that does not make the girlfriend worth condemning.game-lover said:All that aside, No the boyfriend can't exactly tell his girlfriend what to do in that whole literal sense. But he can dump her ass which he'd have every right to do. I look at it like this. If you're in a relationship with someone and you do something that this someone decides or would decide to dump you for, chances are it's the wrong thing to do. It's also the whole promise that tends to come with the agreement to be exclusive thing.
If she's not wrong for the act, then she's wrong for being a liar who can't keep a promise and can't be trusted. You have to at least admit that. And if the boyfriend has NO say in who his girlfriend is fucking. Then she has NO say in what he does as a response.
Its not that i am insecure in my opinions, its that the rules of this forum, which i have to follow not to get banned, does not always allow me to express them. I try not to get to Ad Hominem (spelling?) as much as i can, but sometimes my bad nature gets better of me. Indeed i do seek validation, because i dont want to live in the world where everyone thinks that such opinion is wrong. any human does that.Vegosiux said:To me, that only says you're so insecure about your opinions you can't even disagree with a person without insulting them and have to constantly seek validation while fighting opposing viewpoints with tooth and claw as to not have to second-guess yourself.
Let me start my asking you: How do you define an exclusive relationship? What does that mean to you?Strazdas said:That really depends on what you consider cheating. if you were to define it, then i could answer more correctly.
No such thing as "wrong" decisions. only those that do not benefit one in the end. (and dont think materialistically here, oru whole society is built upon benefitting ourselves, working together and helping others do benefit us).
What promise has any of them made to be faithful? there was no promise presented.
We'll agree to disagree on the first point. I'm of the thought that the boyfriend could be involved with another woman instead of with her. And that he's wasted all his time dealing with her and her bullshit.I fully agree that the "boyfriend" has full right to dump the girl in such situation. that does not make the girlfriend worth condemning.
And yes, you are correct that she is acting badly by lieing. and i agree that she has no say in what he does as a response. however i would still advise him to follow the law, because you know, jail is not a fun place even if your a douche that likes to punch people.