Am I over-reacting?

[Ironic Pirate]

To paraphrase CJ from Dawn of the Dead, trust is the most important part of a relationship.

And it doesn't sound like you can trust her.

 

[Frog_Girl]

LONG DISTANT RELATIONSHIPS NEVER WORK! Cut the cord your young and just started college, go out and sow your wild seed. Seven months may seem like a long time but honestly it's not, you will me other girls, better girls. I've seen this vicious cycle before with my sister, clinging to a guy because she thought they could work it out, even when he started dating someone new. Even though I don't personally know you, you deserve better than someone who will bang whoever when she gets a few drinks in her. good luck

 

[Chrono212]

Although I personally havn't had a long distance relationship, I do know of a few people who have.

The thing is, ask her.
Ha, Mr. 'Simple-in-theory' answer guy. But it's true.

If she can continue with it, then do. If this 'one slip' becomes a regular thing then...cut that cord my friend.

Plus at Uni it might be nicer if you can be more...open with relationships.

Hell no. It's both of us or neither of us. Sorry, I do take everyone's posts here into account and reflect on them, but I could never, ever be in an open relationship.
Unlesssss...you meant open as in honesty...

I did mean honesty X3

Heh, we do live in modern times though :3 And it's good that you take everyone's posts into account.
If you still want an opinion, just meet her face to face and ask her if you and her can continue.
Unless you already have. :/

 

[p3t3r]

well it happened 7 months ago. if you think you have gotten closer to her and she hasn't done it since then i think you should forgive but whatever it's your call man.

 

[PorkChopXpress]

throw her away like a parking ticket bro

 

[Paksenarrion]

She has altered the deal. Pray she does not alter it any further.

But in all seriousness, without knowing the situation in its entirety, we can't really tell you what to do. Are you over-reacting? Quite the opposite.

 

[Kialee]

I found out today because she told me, via text if it matters. And I had to coerce it out of her.

She...she wouldn't even talk about it vocally?
You don't text that kind of shit! It's like your doctor IMing you to tell you that you have the clap. Eugh.
I was going to say that the distance alone should have killed the relationship, but now I'm just going to jump on the 'dump that ass' bandwagon: Dump her.

 

[Kagim]

I would say cut the cord man. I had a long distance relationship for two and a half years. It was hell. It was tough, but neither of us ever cheated.

Cheating, whether drunk or sober, is a big deal. Its a total betrayal of trust. Do you really want to spend every night wondering "is she screwing around?". That's an amount of stress you don't want to live with.

Leave it. Your going to Uni. You will meet someone else if you keep an open mind. If you stay with her your always going to have that pit in your stomach.

Being drunk isn't an excuse, and if she was really sorry and regretful of it, she would have confessed to you the very next morning.

I'm sorry, i say this for your sake, end it.

 

[Canid117]

Sit down and talk with her about it and see if you can get a "I fuck the chick of my choice free so that we are even" card from her. Or you could resolve this like a responsible adult and have a long serious discussion with her where your intention is to determine whether you should continue this relationship or not.


And how did you figure out she cheated?

EDIT: I have read your updates and I say drop her.

 

[Brandon237]

A proper relationship is not going to work without trust, not by a long shot. It'll be hard, but I think you should just say no, 24 hours is bloody quick.

 

[Tdc2182]

Once a cheater, always a cheater, I say.

I disagree with this statement.

People who cheat once (and get caught), are very much less inclined to cheat again.

And seeing how it was 24 hours after you started dating, I wouldnt consider that a groundbreaking factor. You guys had only recently started dating, it was a fresh idea, her probably not knowing what to do with it.

People put to much thought into cheating these days. And while it is a terrible thing, its really not to bad. Sex is not love. Its sex. Based off lust.

 

[ultimateownage]

Dude, break that shit up. She cheated on you within a day, and you'll be going away so you can't visit her, she'll probably do it again.

 

[Gudrests]

Cheating happens. She's human. Humans make mistakes. You're perfectly right to be hurt and angry. But, I think it's something to be talked over with her before you break things off.

If you go through life waiting for someone who will never hurt you, never wrong you, then you're going to end up looking forever.

Talk to her, find out if it has happened since then, why she didn't tell you, how she feels about it etc.

Given that it was a drunken mistake, while not excusing it, plays a factor. Talk to her.

unless its tripping over yourself and not even knowing your name....your still concious and its not much of an excuse.especally if there not going to see each other much...break it off nicely and try and get back together later....keep in touch

 

[Jfswift]

If you mean 24 hours when you first met her (at the beginning of the relationship I mean) then I wouldn't worry about it. Nothing is concrete around those times. If she did this like, more recently then move on, you don't need heartache with everything else going on in your life.

 

[T-Bone24]

Your girlfriend cheated on you? Man, that sucks. Anyway: here's my 2 cents/corresponding amount of other currency.

If you really were close before you got together, then her cheating so soon is enough to tell me that she isn't trustworthy. Alcohol doesn't excuse it at all. If she told you that she cheated once, over text (!), who's to say that she isn't hiding anything else from you? It took coercion to get it out of her as well, if I understand correctly, so she shouldn't be trusted, not in my books.

 

[Flishiz]

While I would say that drunken cheating deserves some slack, you don't want to be heading to uni with a girlfriend unless she's in the same city or going to the same college.

 

[jasoncyrus]

Hello my dear comrades. I hope I don't earn your contempt with this thread.

Basically, my life has come to what I can only describe as something as a mix between a crossroads and a standstill, both of which are annoying phrases but I can't think of anything else right now.
I've just learnt that my girlfriend cheated on me, wahey. I know, I know, it's another relationship thread in disguise but I'm not asking for you to tell me what I should do. I'll explain:
My girlfriend and I are in a long distance relationship. I'm situated in England, her in Scotland, so it's not an abominable distance. We've been in the relationship for roughly 7 months, but were very close for several months before. I've visited her and all that so I know what I feel is real when I say I loved her, I still do.
But, less than 24 hours into our relationship, she cheated on me. I've only learnt this today.

What I want to know, as the title suggests, is whether you guys think I'm over reacting when I say that I'm considering just cutting the cord and moving on. I've got university in just over a month and it would be 3 years before I'm done. That's a long time to be in a long distance relationship with someone you're unsure if you can trust.

Oh and please guys, I know it's our style to subtley flame and mock the kinds of users who make these threads, I know. But just this once, could you go easy? For an old friend in need of a pinch of help?

ADDITION: I neglected to mention, she was very drunk when she did this. I know it's not an excuse but it's a factor.

It's because your english *cough* Just kidding, little bit of Scots humor there.

Anyway. Ditch her, she's clearly an idiot who is well on the way to becoming an alcoholic. Cut your losses and move on.

 

[Jaded Scribe]

Cheating happens. She's human. Humans make mistakes. You're perfectly right to be hurt and angry. But, I think it's something to be talked over with her before you break things off.

If you go through life waiting for someone who will never hurt you, never wrong you, then you're going to end up looking forever.

Talk to her, find out if it has happened since then, why she didn't tell you, how she feels about it etc.

Given that it was a drunken mistake, while not excusing it, plays a factor. Talk to her.

unless its tripping over yourself and not even knowing your name....your still concious and its not much of an excuse.especally if there not going to see each other much...break it off nicely and try and get back together later....keep in touch

You may be conscious, but your judgment is impaired. It was a mistake. If it's one she hasn't repeated, I think forgiveness is possible.

But the going off to college thing is something to be considered. But not a sure-reason to break up.

I understand the idea behind asking for advice, but really, you need to talk to her and examine your own feelings. If you break it off, you could be missing out on something great. But if you don't, you may find yourself unhappy later.

No one can tell you but yourself.