Am I Really the Minority When it Comes to Sex?

[Julianking93]

A question I've been dwelling over for some time now. I'm sure we all have noticed the growing promiscuity of teenagers and I'm just wondering, why? Why is sex something that is sought out so much after by any means? It seems like average teen just wants to have sex as soon as possible and doesn't matter who it's with.

Now I'm not saying everyone is like this, just it seems that a lot of people (at least where I live) are.

I've never really been one for the whole sex thing. It's not that I'm gay, don't care or asexual even, I just want to wait for someone I love before I have sex. After reading a few studies and surveys showing that the average person loses their virginity between 15 -17, I can't help wonder if I'm really the only one who wants to wait or if I'm just missing out on it by being so uptight.

Now I will admit that I have never had sex. Came close to it, but never went to full on sex but the experience ended horribly and I deeply regret because I was in love with the girl and it turned out, she didn't even remotely feel the same about me and I'm wondering if I'm the only one who feels it would be best to wait.

Please note that my feelings towards sex has absolutely nothing to do with any religious beliefs. I'm also not saying there should be a certain age or you should wait till marriage. Just until you're actually in love. Not the bullshit that teenagers feel when they like someone, but actual love.

So, Escapist, what are your thoughts on this? Am I just being uptight when it comes to the subject or am I in the right for thinking this?

Also, for anyone who's wondering, I'm 16.

 

[Kpt._Rob]

I think that many people want to wait, but then they start dating someone, and when you're young you either fall in love or think you've fallen in love quickly, and so you have sex and poof, there goes your virginity. It all makes sense if you're an advocate of evolutionary psychology though.

 

[Contextualizer]

Lots of people, both young and old, both virgins and not, feel the way you do. Lots of other people don't feel the way you do.

Either way, it should not matter to anyone how you feel about something so personal.

 

[Hurr Durr Derp]

Eh. Sex is fun, but there's no rule of "you have to have sex before you're X years old" or anything like that, and some people are just ready for it sooner than others. Having sex without considering the consequences can lead to some bad situations, but in the end I think it's something that everyone should figure out for themselves.

 

[DazZ.]

I'm interested in how your sex ended horribly.

I think you will be in the minority, teenagers are curious beings who want to try everything. Sex included, especially since they are told not to by some religions and people.

 

[Irridium]

I'm willing to bet that at least half the people asked lie about their sexual experiences. You are not alone. Granted I have had sex, a whole of 3 times, and to be honest it was "meh". Wasn't really all its cracked up to be. Granted if it was with people I actually care about, it may be different, but until that moment comes I don't know.

I have noticed an assload of teenagers wanting sex. Could never fathom why. I guess to be "cool" but beeing cool is overrated.

Shitloads of people here feel the same as you do. So you are in no way alone.

 

[TheLaofKazi]

Not uptight at all.

Everybody has their own preferences for... well everything. If you want to wait to have sex then go ahead.

I don't put emphasis on it, because everybody should be able to choose their own path. But I'm not opposed to having sex with someone even if you don't feel a strong bond with, but it really depends on the context. If one's partner is open to some casual sex, maybe they want to experiment, I don't see what's wrong with that.

 

[DefunctTheory]

Because sex feels good and the average teenager is biologically compelled to bang. Why is that so hard to understand?

 

[sky14kemea]

I'm 18 and I still haven't even had my first kiss. xD

I guess you could say I'm waiting. You could also say I don't really have a sex drive so it's the least of my priorities right now. :/

I doubt I'll ever have it at this rate. \o/ I'm going for the 40 year old virgin route.

 

[wooty]

As long as you do it when your ready is the main thing. Just please dont make the mistake I did and do it when drunk with someone your close firends with, it ruined that 8 year friendship over the course of a fortnight

 

[chozo_hybrid]

Well, most teenagers brains are hardwired to procreate, It's when you're most fertile etc.

 

[awsome117]

Well, being the sex obsessed teen I am, I am curious about it. Plus having a Girl friend, I want to have sex to see what it's like.

That's just me anyway.

 

[Thaius]

I definitely think it's best to wait. I'm 21 and still a virgin (by choice, I could have had sex by now if I wanted to), but sex, the way I see it, is a representation of love. Considering there's no real physical affection beyond love that can be shown, I am personally wanting until I am married to have sex: otherwise the act means absolutely nothing.

 

[Dexiro]

It's probably an ego thing. Like "IMA BETTAR THAN YOU I'VE HAD SEX AMILLION TIMES" or something similar in full caps.

 

[Druyn]

A question I've been dwelling over for some time now. I'm sure we all have noticed the growing promiscuity of teenagers and I'm just wondering, why? Why is sex something that is sought out so much after by any means? It seems like average teen just wants to have sex as soon as possible and doesn't matter who it's with.

Now I'm not saying everyone is like this, just it seems that a lot of people (at least where I live) are.

I've never really been one for the whole sex thing. It's not that I'm gay, don't care or asexual even, I just want to wait for someone I love before I have sex. After reading a few studies and surveys showing that the average person loses their virginity between 15 -17, I can't help wonder if I'm really the only one who wants to wait or if I'm just missing out on it by being so uptight.

Now I will admit that I had sex once in my life. It ended horribly and I deeply regret it and I'm wondering if I'm the only one who feels it would be best to wait.

Please note that my feelings towards sex has absolutely nothing to do with any religious beliefs.

So, Escapist, what are your thoughts on this? Am I just being uptight when it comes to the subject or am I in the right for thinking this?

Im gonna agree with you. I mix the two, I think. I wanted to have sex as soon as I could, but i didnt want it to be some one-night stand or with some random girl. I waited for somebody I really liked, and gave it time inbetween, because then at leats I knew the relationship isnt based off of sex. And at least that way I can look back and say I dontt regret it at all, even if the relationship didntt work out.

But yeah, Id say we're a minority.

 

[PurpleSky]

Teenagers are horny.I was dancing with a girl at her 18th party when she suddenly raised her leg and wrapped it around me (not that I'm a looker,in my opinion).Then I put on a bored look,but later I regreted it,when I was also horny.


And trust me,ever since I was little I wanted to do things right.Not fall to temptations,and so on,but I don't think I will find a girl that will wait as long as I will,and I don't want to end up with a former slutty-teen.

 

[A random person]

Eh. Sex is fun, but there's no rule of "you have to have sex before you're X years old" or anything like that, and some people are just ready for it sooner than others. Having sex without considering the consequences can lead to some bad situations, but in the end I think it's something that everyone should figure out for themselves.

More or less this. Personally I don't see much of a problem with teens having sex (being a teen myself *awkward smirk*), I just think they should be somewhat responsible about it (i.e use protection, don't bang anything that moves, have something resembling feelings, even if they aren't entirely lovey-dovey).

 

[Erja_Perttu]

I've never really been one for the whole sex thing. It's not that I'm gay, don't care or asexual even, I just want to wait for someone I love before I have sex. After reading a few studies and surveys showing that the average person loses their virginity between 15 -17, I can't help wonder if I'm really the only one who wants to wait or if I'm just missing out on it by being so uptight.

Now I will admit that I had sex once in my life. It ended horribly and I deeply regret it and I'm wondering if I'm the only one who feels it would be best to wait.

Please note that my feelings towards sex has absolutely nothing to do with any religious beliefs.

So, Escapist, what are your thoughts on this? Am I just being uptight when it comes to the subject or am I in the right for thinking this?

I remember my first time ended horribly too, so don't think you're alone in hat particular boat. I've always waited until I was in a stable and loving relationship before I started having sex with a person, and I feel like that was the right thing for me, but it's different for everyone I think.

Also, you mentioned that you had sex once and it ended badly, would I be wrong in saying that the bad experience may have soured your expectations? Regret can be a powerful thing, and you shouldn't think that a situation where sex leaves you feeling like that is normal, because it most definitely isn't.

I myself don't think you're uptight, just that you've got a different view, and that's not wrong, so you shouldn't be worried about it. Just go with what you think is the right thing to do and don't feel pressured by what other people are doing.