Am I Really the Minority When it Comes to Sex?

[TheDoctor455]

A question I've been dwelling over for some time now. I'm sure we all have noticed the growing promiscuity of teenagers and I'm just wondering, why? Why is sex something that is sought out so much after by any means? It seems like average teen just wants to have sex as soon as possible and doesn't matter who it's with.

Now I'm not saying everyone is like this, just it seems that a lot of people (at least where I live) are.

I've never really been one for the whole sex thing. It's not that I'm gay, don't care or asexual even, I just want to wait for someone I love before I have sex. After reading a few studies and surveys showing that the average person loses their virginity between 15 -17, I can't help wonder if I'm really the only one who wants to wait or if I'm just missing out on it by being so uptight.

Now I will admit that I had sex once in my life. It ended horribly and I deeply regret because I was in love with the girl and it turned out, she didn't even remotely feel the same about me and I'm wondering if I'm the only one who feels it would be best to wait.

Please note that my feelings towards sex has absolutely nothing to do with any religious beliefs. I'm also not saying there should be a certain age or you should wait till marriage. Just until you're actually in love. Not the bullshit that teenagers feel when they like someone, but actual love.

So, Escapist, what are your thoughts on this? Am I just being uptight when it comes to the subject or am I in the right for thinking this?

Well.. speaking as someone who has just hit 20... In my experience, people generally wait until they think they're in love with someone before having sex. Rather than some arbitrary age limit. Now... I'm not saying teens should have sex before they're ready to deal with the potential consequences... but I don't hold it against teen couples if they want to have sex and they are prepared to deal with it.

All of the above really... is just a really polite and long-winded way of saying "I don't give a shit".

 

[Kurokami]

A question I've been dwelling over for some time now. I'm sure we all have noticed the growing promiscuity of teenagers and I'm just wondering, why? Why is sex something that is sought out so much after by any means? It seems like average teen just wants to have sex as soon as possible and doesn't matter who it's with.

Now I'm not saying everyone is like this, just it seems that a lot of people (at least where I live) are.

I've never really been one for the whole sex thing. It's not that I'm gay, don't care or asexual even, I just want to wait for someone I love before I have sex. After reading a few studies and surveys showing that the average person loses their virginity between 15 -17, I can't help wonder if I'm really the only one who wants to wait or if I'm just missing out on it by being so uptight.

Now I will admit that I had sex once in my life. It ended horribly and I deeply regret because I was in love with the girl and it turned out, she didn't even remotely feel the same about me and I'm wondering if I'm the only one who feels it would be best to wait.

Please note that my feelings towards sex has absolutely nothing to do with any religious beliefs. I'm also not saying there should be a certain age or you should wait till marriage. Just until you're actually in love. Not the bullshit that teenagers feel when they like someone, but actual love.

So, Escapist, what are your thoughts on this? Am I just being uptight when it comes to the subject or am I in the right for thinking this?

I am, excuse the bluntness, amazingly and constantly horney. Don't get me wrong, from a girlfriend I expect intimacy, comfort and somewhat a sense of purpose but being single I just want to f*** almost all the time.

 

[Actual]

See sex with someone you love is awesome, I could, and have, done it all day long.

Sex with someone random is just "meh", I'd rather be gaming.

You're different because you're able to examine your desires logically and see why/if you really want sex. Most kids are told by the TV that they should want sex so they do.

 

[cuddly_tomato]

Now I will admit that I had sex once in my life. It ended horribly and I deeply regret because I was in love with the girl and it turned out, she didn't even remotely feel the same about me and I'm wondering if I'm the only one who feels it would be best to wait.

Does that have anything to do with your feelings towards sex?

When I was young sex was really important. Now I am in my mid-thirties it just doesn't seem to matter quite so much. The quality of it becomes more important than the quantity, and the feelings of the lady I am with become more important than the mere act of fornication. It seems that you are old before your time Mr Julianking, I am not sure if that is a good or bad thing.

 

[Actual]

I definitely think it's best to wait. I'm 21 and still a virgin (by choice, I could have had sex by now if I wanted to), but sex, the way I see it, is a representation of love. Considering there's no real physical affection beyond love that can be shown, I am personally wanting until I am married to have sex: otherwise the act means absolutely nothing.

I really respect your stance on waiting, however I'm going to offer unsolicited advice and say don't wait quite so long.

Marriage, ideally, should be for all your life, and the next life if you believe in it. Sometimes no matter how much two people love each other, the sex just doesn't work.

You want to find that out before you commit forever.

 

[oppp7]

I don't get it either. I guess everyone has a different view of it; people that hound after sex usually see it as something to brag about.

 

[Julianking93]

snip

In all honesty, no, not at all.

I don't think it soured my expectations because I am actively trying to find a girlfriend (or hell, even a friend) who I love and loves me back.

I feel as if I may be trying to make up for my first time I suppose.

Honestly, I try to forget about it. I sometimes don't even count it, that's how bad it was.

Also, hurray for me! I just hit 17K

 

[elvor0]

My rule was have sex with the person I love, then if something goes wrong with that person later down the line, I lost my virginity with the person I love, so it's acceptable to bang like a rabbit. Plus y'know I'm 18, and it's teh shiz, fo shizzle.

And yes I believe I'm mature enough to have experienced "Love" at 17, given I'd been going out with the girl since I was 13. If not I'll as you to step outside sir.

 

[Actual]

... Teenagers are promiscuous because the more they fuck the better they get at it. Everyone has that bad experience (at some point) but the trick is figuring out why and not letting it happen again.

Also, "love" doesn't really exist...

Most kids are told by the TV that they should want sex so they do.

Isn't that a little oversimplified? Sure, most of pop culture is about how great sex is, but its not like they're saying, "HEY, YOU THEIR, GO FUCK THAT GIRL/GUY."

It's a lot oversimplified I'm sure, but I'm a pretty simple fella. I'm sure there are other factors but I don't know what they are.

And this:

"HEY, YOU THEIR, GO FUCK THAT GIRL/GUY."

Is totally half the shows on TV!

 

[dbungus2000]

sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex
Im sorry, what was the question?

 

[dark_taint92]

I think the reason people want to have sex so much is that they're socially obligated to do so. Not so much girls, but if you're a boy, you're looked down upon if you haven't. It doesn't matter who you have it with, as long as you have it, it seems.

I have had sex with two people, one of them I loved, the other I did not. I regret the latter, you should only have sex with people you truly feel a bond with, or else it's meaningless.

People can do what they please, but I do agree with you that there's really too much emphasis on it.

I with furburt on this one Guy's have a hell of alot of peer pressure when it comes to things like sex, if you've not had it they look down on you.

I also agree with his statement about how having sex with some one you have no feelings for is pointless,
I've managed to keep it in my pants between relationships so to speak.
I do hate people who boast about how much sex they've had too but that's the annoyance of being a 'teenager' really.

 

[Luke5515]

I'm with you on this one. My friend's first time was with this absolute whore and I feel like I picked the smart choice. Nothing wrong with being chaste untill you find the right person.

 

[Rkiver]

What's wrong with sex? Nothing. It's natural, normal and if done right good fun.

Should you rush into it? No. You should wait till you are sure, not because someone says sex before marriage is wrong (absolute bull by the way. Marrying someone without knowing if you are sexually compatable is a bad idea...).

When both you and your partner decide to have sex it should be due to no pressure from either side, but something you both want to do.

Enjoy, be safe, but only when you are ready.

If you aren't, then you aren't. Nothing wrong with that at all.

 

[Levitas1234]

Everyone thinks differently on the subject, I don't see anything all that special about ejaculation so i don't see why i should only do it in the woman I love. Really though sex isn't my ultimate priority unless i'm at a party and there is a very good chance of actually getting any.

Also julian, I had the same experience for my first time
/cry in corner

 

[Brotherofwill]

It's probably an ego thing. Like "IMA BETTAR THAN YOU I'VE HAD SEX AMILLION TIMES" or something similar in full caps.

This episode comes to mind.

Sex =/= Love

 

[Julianking93]

snip

As I said a moment ago, no I don't believe it does. In fact, I think it made me more active in trying to find the right girl. I suppose it's a way to make up for what happened, but I am just searching for a girl who I love and loves me back. And as I also said, I am actively trying to forget what happened.

Sex itself isn't important as love is to me.

And I take the "old before my time" thing as a compliment. I get called an "Old wise soul" a lot.