ya, ive been playing EVE for about a year now. your not stupid for not liking it. eve is a love it or hate it game.
i personally like the non-instant gratification of the game, for the following reasons:
1. non-instant gratification goes hand in hand with not having to play it 24/7. the skills train in real time whether you are there or not. i went on a two week holiday and im about to have exams for two weeks. despite not touching eve in this time i will sitll come out the end being able to use stealth bombers. (hehehe, surprise 0.0 buttsecks ^_^).
in addition, im primarily an industrialist. that is, i mine, manufacture and invent. i can whack my mining barge on to mine ore, and come back in 10 mins to find its full. in the mean time i can do homework. same applies for ice mining but 30 mins instead of 10. i then take the minerals, manufacutre them, and once i finish that, i just sell them for a profit. it requires very little time on my part.
however, im one of those odd people who LIKES mining. its kinda like meditation. thus i spend an awful amount of time doing it.
2. it encourages community. the fact that theres very few moments of "fuck yea im awesome look at me go" (my first time in an abaddon was a bit like that) means your jollies come out of talking to people. the corp system and game depth provide an elegant system for bringing people together and giving them shit to talk about, as well as stuff to do together. it give a feeling of community that other mmo's ive tried lack.
the complexity i like as well. i love the fact that ive been playing for a year and a two week old player can still sometimes say stuff that makes me go "really, you can do that? no kidding?". in addition, the complexity keeps tards out.
you know those chaps who sit in WoW and keep going "LFG" all day long. the kind of people you avoid at all costs? yea, they dont last in eve.
they attack a battleship in their rookie ship in high sec, get WTFPWNED by concord and go "what is all this dross? im not having this!" and leave.
another thing, i love the free PvP aspect. there are, of course, some PvP actions i dislike, but the fact that you can do them i love. nowhere in eve is safe, except your hangar. if you are undocked, you can be killed. it adds an element of risk that you dont get in many MMO's.
i also love that fact that you can lose stuff in eve. you die in WoW, its kinda immaterial. you failed the dungeon, but you can always try again tomorrow. not so in eve. you die? you just lost your fantastically expensive ship! gonna take you a while to replace that.
if you don't keep your clone up to date, you can lose months of skill training in a single moment (when you get podded). this also adds an element of risk that i like.
finally, i like how the grind is variable. the only thing you need to grind to get is money. how much you grind depends on how much money you want.