An ethical question involving adoption

[Ninez]

Child should be given to the real parents and kidnapper send to mental prison. If we wouldn't punish this sort of behavior it would become normal. If you cant have kids, there are legal ways of getting them...

What comes to the capital punishment; fuck that. She isn't clearly a bad person perse. Just desperate/stupid. Doubtful that she would do try to do it again.

If she would have carved the baby from the mothers womb or something like that, maby then.

 

[Brandon237]

This should be the child's choice, and if the child chooses to stay with their kidnapper, then AFTER the child has moved out of the kidnapper's house, the kidnapper gets their legal punishment.

If the foster parent/ kidnapper treated the child well, then they would probably not be too willing to just leave them after spending 14 years of their lives with them.

 

[Biodeamon]

Thank god most people arent wacky enough to do something like this.

Awful question, I honestly dont know. The best interest of the child should be at heart...and I guess that should include involvement from both "families".

actually some crazy womans who want to have kids will go to extreme measures to get kids and raise them...

 

[Biodeamon]

i think the mom should give the kid back. she`s had her fun time to give the kid back to real parents. And now that's she's a teenager she might be more unpleasant than that adorable thing she kidnapped earlier.

 

[4li3n]

I'm rather boggled that most people find it horrible to take a child away from its kidnapper. That it's 'collateral' when the law punishes said kidnapper. Uh.... I would say its acceptable collateral in this situation. That is not their parent. They were STOLEN. And once their child-mind has realized the reality of the situation, they will come to accept their true parents. This is also why all children in this situation receive counseling.

Well we are talking a hypothetical situation where the kidnapper was actually a good parent, which is unlikely in real life as kidnapping a kid isn't a sign of parent material and the kid would probably be grateful to be rid of them.

And since people are pulling the snarky, "if it happened to you" card: I think I would be fine, eventually, after receiving counselling for my situation, and glad that it hadn't turned out worse.

I wonder, how's your relationship with your parents? Would you trade them for a bunch of strangers right now?

And a kid should not need counselling... anything you do to a kid that would require him to get counselling doesn't count as "the right thing for him" to me.


See, it's not that simple as "put X in jail and everything will be fine".

 

[4li3n]

actually some crazy womans who want to have kids will go to extreme measures to get kids and raise them...

But surprisingly they tend not to make very good parents... sometimes the kid even ends up having suspicions about being kidnapped: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-latin-america-12620384

Note that some of the kids didn't want to know, and they're in their 30's...

 

[4li3n]

What that kidnapper did, in my opinion, was worse than rape.

I take it you've been raped, and that qualifies you to make that assertion.

Child should be given to the real parents and kidnapper send to mental prison. If we wouldn't punish this sort of behavior it would become normal. If you cant have kids, there are legal ways of getting them...

What comes to the capital punishment; fuck that. She isn't clearly a bad person perse. Just desperate/stupid. Doubtful that she would do try to do it again.

If she would have carved the baby from the mothers womb or something like that, maby then.

You do know that there's such a thing as punishing someone without sending them to jail, right? Kinda like you can punish theft without cutting of a hand.

 

[SinisterGehe]

Well according to the law the child is old enough to decide for himself. But why should he be returned to biological parents after 14 years? He doesn't know them, they don't know him, there is no "parental love" between them, they are strangers to each other, and it might give the kid really hard time mentally to settel in specially if he has grown up recognizing the kidnapper as hes parent.

Returning a lost child to parents after 14 years would be objectifying the child. Hes not a properity of the biological parent.

Think what is best for the child, not what is right according to the law. In Finnish law the kidnapper would be the childs guardian, since he has taken care of the child for so long and the child recognizes the kidnapper as parent.

 

[electric_warrior]

How anyone is having trouble answering this is beyond me.

So, because someone's crime lasts a long time, they get away with it? That means every kidnapper just has to run far enough and wait it out.

Nonsense.

You stole a child that isn't yours, a child that has parents. I mean, christ. These people gave birth to their child and they have every right in the world to get them back.

You have to consider what's best for the kid too. I don't think anyone's saying that the criminal should get off scot free because of any sympathy for them, but is it right to tear a kid away from the only parent they've ever known and give them to what are, essentially, total strangers? Its a more complex problem than your making out, and is not even slightly similar to evading capture for a long time. This isn't Stockholm syndrome we're talking about here, its a child's love for what it thinks is its parent.

If the kid doesn't want to see them and wants to live with its biological parents, then its pretty cut and dried, but if not its a real moral conundrum.

 

[ScoopMeister]

1.ok kid automatically goes and lives with biological parents...who are upper class, she came from a lower class background, doesnt fit in so much (and from what Ive seen on TV britan has some serious social issues, like its youth are friggin scary) anyway in regards to that I honestly dont know

Methinks you over-exaggerate British society's ills. Sure, we've got problems here, but no worse than anywhere else.
Anyway, the kidnapper should obviously go to prison, but I think it's wrong to forbid communication. The child has obviously being raised with love, and it must help for her to adjust if she still has her surrogate mother there to support her.

 

[SinisterGehe]

How anyone is having trouble answering this is beyond me.

So, because someone's crime lasts a long time, they get away with it? That means every kidnapper just has to run far enough and wait it out.

Nonsense.

You stole a child that isn't yours, a child that has parents. I mean, christ. These people gave birth to their child and they have every right in the world to get them back.

You have to consider what's best for the kid too. I don't think anyone's saying that the criminal should get off scot free because of any sympathy for them, but is it right to tear a kid away from the only parent they've ever known and give them to what are, essentially, total strangers? Its a more complex problem than your making out, and is not even slightly similar to evading capture for a long time. This isn't Stockholm syndrome we're talking about here, its a child's love for what it thinks is its parent.

If the kid doesn't want to see the and wants to live with its biological parents, then its pretty cut and dried, but if not its a real moral conundrum.

Considering the parents of the child, the people who gave birth to them, love them more than life itself and miss them, miss giving them birthday parties, buying them clothes, playing in the backyard, taking them to school - all the things that parents deserve to share with their child - will want them back, it is cut and dry.

Also, the kidnapper will be in prison and can't look after the child they stole. /thread

According to what country's law?
In Finnish law the kidnapper would be the kid's parent since he has taken care of the child (specially if the child recognizes the kidnapper as hes parent)

Also, we should be thinking what is best for the child, not for the parents, you saying the child is like an item that can be just tossed around.

I am assuming the child was kidnapped at baby age. He wouldn't know the biological parents, they wouldn't know the kid - they would be strangers. How would you feel id youd be 14 years old boy who all the sudden gets carried to a home of a couple you do not know and you get said "these are your parents, enjoy" and just left there. It would be better for the child to be taken in to a children's home, then the biological parents can apply for custody. Child is not a item, hes a human being - with all the emotions and such.

 

[Mr. Eff_v1legacy]

Excellent question.

I think the kid should decide. Maybe go into some kind of foster care and keep in contact with both families. But to give the kid to the biological family and forbid them from seeing the kidnapper (the only mother the kid has known) would be foolish and dangerous.

 

[SinisterGehe]

The kidnapper would be the kid's parent since he has taken care of the child.

If you have any evidence for this at all, it would be most welcome. As it stands, it looks to be a hollow, baseless claim.

If you can read Finnish I am glad to send you paperwoks of these one case that happened in 97 I think. I set the guidelines on how to treat cases like these in Finnish law.

 

[NathLines]

I can't let a person who stole a child just get away with it.

I want to say that you should ask the kid. If you're 13/14, you should be able to wrap your head around the situation. Still, the kidnapper can't go unpunished.

 

[JUMBO PALACE]

Legally, the kid should go back to his/her original parents. But if we're just going by what's right, I say let the kid decide.

 

[Sharalon]

Simple solution: Abortion!

Ok, ok! Well, if I were the the child I would probably like to stay with the mother I grew up with, since biological bonds means nothing to me. I don't really think I would care at all if it turned out I was kidnapped.