An honest discussion on the effects of porn

[Thaluikhain]

People like to blame it for their lack of proper sexual education (do we blame action movies for teaching people bad gun habits?)

...

People like to blame it because they try stuff they see in porn and it doesn't work out the way they hoped it would (do we blame The Fast and the Furious when people kill themselves street racing?)

To an extent, yes. Phrases like "watched too many movies" comes to mind.

Though, at least where I live, people are licenced to own a firearm or car, which involves some knowledge of the issue, but not to have sex.

People like to blame it because they think it instills desires in them (when in all likelyhood such desires already existed they just hadn't explored them).

Citation needed there. Or at least, for varying degrees of desire. Making people want to have sex, not so much, of course, but popularising certain types of sex act is something it could do. Fiction makes various things seem cool, something to imitate all the time.

 

[Thaluikhain]

But "watched too many movies" is a criticism of the individual, not the movies. You are criticising that individual for taking a fictional work seriously and trying to emulate it.

True.

To be clear, it's important we seperate specific acts and desires here. Let's take facials (I assume you know the term in a pornographic context) as an example. I could easily believe that many men decided that facials are a thing they want to do by watching porn. But facials aren't a desire, facials are a way of expressing a desire to dominate.

Ah, in that sense I'd tend to agree, yes.

Though, I might argue that the desire to dominate is affected by cultural factors, including porn, but that'd make porn only a very small part of it.

 

[Danbo Jambo]

So basically instead of owning up to the fact that you and your partner had a serious case of bad/lacking communication you would rather blame porn?

Dont get me wrong but if you and your partner both decided to have a threesome with a woman and it turned out your partner didnt like you sleeping with said other women, shouldnt she have said something? Shouldnt you have talked to her about your experience after the first time? Shouldnt you two have been more honest?

Sounds more like you and your partner where wayyyyy to naive about all of this.

The fact that you both kept going even thought she aparantly hated seeing you please other woman sexually tells me that porn was the least of your relationships problems.

Blaming media for your own failure is just a copout im afraid. Its the same as blaming violent video games for mass shootings or Dungeons and Dragons for turning kids into satanists. You where two adult beings that should have known better.

You have no one else but yourselfe to blame in this scenario.

Porn's portrayal of threesomes, whether down to our niavity or not, was what pushed things further than they should have gone. Before we watched porn together there were no suggestions, fantasies or hints at a threesome.

That's not to say that lack of communication wasn't an issue, nor that either myself or my ex's temptation/desire to watch porn in the first place wasn't to blame for some part as well. I think you're right there, that definitely played a part too.

But had said porn not portrayed the threesome fantasy as it does - to me fairly falsely - then I doubt we'd have gone the whole hog.

FFM Threesomes where I live aren't that common, and I'd wager 90% of people are quite niave to them, and that porn's portayal of them is one of the few insights we have to them. The trouble is, said insight is carries a large amount of falseness.

On the whole I think porn is damaging sex now anyway. I had some fun the other night with a girl I'd met and she tried to copy all the stuff she'd seen in porn like gagging etc. and personally it just didn't do anything for me. 15-20 years ago when the women just had normal, natural sex with you and it was all about passion it was far more fun. Sat night was more comical than anything, and she was doing stuff that she definitely wouldn't have done had porn not been so common. That's not to say like a lot of vices - drink, drugs etc. - it doesn't have it's place. I just don't think people are aware of how negative an impact it can have too.

 

[Pinkilicious]

I'd like to see one female pornstar who doesn't have moderate to severe emotional problems stemming from sexual abuse.

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