An Impromptu Witcher Lets Play - now with the Witcher 2!

[Zantos]

Oooh, short stories are right up my alley. As tempted as I am to pick up The Sword of Destiny in French, I can't actually remember the last time I spoke French and I think I may have forgotten the entire language. Or at least forgotten the passable portion of the language I once may have known. I'm thinking The Last Wish may be more suited to my linguistic pitfalls.

There are fan translations of the books and remaining short stories. How accurate they are, I do not know, but it's better than nothing (and to be honest, the English translations are taking a fucking epochal amount of time, and they completely skipped over Sword of Destiny short stories). I plan on reading Sword of Destiny myself soon on here.

http://en.thewitcher.com/forum/index.php?/topic/20967-our-community-fan-translations/

Excellent! Yes as I understand the publisher skipped on Sword so they could get on with publishing novels instead. At least according to The Witcher Wiki. Still, even if it isn't professional quality, I can imagine I've read a lot worse than a dedicated fan translation.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

Ah, yes, the translations were what I was talking about. I almost threw in a link myself, but it's been posted earlier in the thread, so I thought you might have seen it there.

But yes, excellent fan translations. If I continue to enjoy them as much as I have so far, I'll probably pick up the English published books.

 

[RhombusHatesYou]

What I dislike is that the game is saying (via mechanics) "all women just want to have babies" - which is bullshit. Or that all women, no matter how casual about sex now, are secretly trying to get you to give them that ring. It's like the other side of the sexism coin from the card collecting. Hell, it even sends the message (again, with mechanics) "if you sleep with the same woman twice, she'll nail you down with a kid and insist on a ring".

Methinks you might be ignoring the possible influence of a certain reality bending orphan.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

Methinks you might be ignoring the possible influence of a certain reality bending orphan.

....

That sounds like a major Spoiler to me. So far, all Alvin has done is talk to dead people (or demon spirit dogs, close enough). He hasn't shown any ability to alter reality. Yet.

Hmmm... I think I'll put my thoughts on that in a spoiler tag.

Spoiler: Wild Guessing

If it turns out that Triss has been brain-fucked by Alvin and that entire "get me a ring and be a good influence on Alvin" bit was horrible mind control, then I will immediately forgive the writers since in that case Triss was supposed to be acting out of character.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

Update: Finally! Okay, let's do this.

I went to see the merchant guy and handed over the papers (why is the party still going on? it's been weeks!). He told me to come back later.

Which I did, after slaughtering spiders in the streets and ghouls in the graveyard to kill time. I need to sneak into that - oh, that map spot I couldn't get to. Neat! But I have to wait until Midnight.

It's... 3 AM in game. FUCK.

Triss is still at the never-ending party, so I teleport to the Swamp Tower and sleep there. Yeah, this sounds like a failing marriage to me. I sleep until noon, then teleport back and go shopping. I use my current 2000 gold to buy the remaining Monster and Plant books, and then run around town collecting all the herbs I can now identify. I'm also ready to fight Genies, in case it comes up.

After collecting all possible herbs, I go see Triss (who is home now), assure Alvin that I'll get him a dog (which is damn practical, so I don't know why Triss is worried about me spoiling him - I won't train him with a sword and I won't give him candy, but I will promise him a dog, which can GUARD him while he sleeps, which seems like a good idea when Triss spends every evening at the inn partying). Ahem. Anyway, I sleep until 11 PM. Then, on my way to the sewer, I collect herbs again from whatever plants have respawned (and kill a few spiders).

In the sewer, I head to the indicated spot and the guards give me a ladder up. Neat. I end up in a random courtyard and (after making sure that there's no loot) I head in the only door.

For once, Geralt actually spies on people. Good for him. Eventually someone hears him, though, so it's battle time. These guys actually do some decent damage to me - I'm impressed. I use one of my new Rubido-heavy instant Vitality restore potions. Now, in addition to an instant heal, I also get increased Regen. Brilliant!

The mage proves troublesome, but eventually I kill his ass. And then the looting commences. I make sure to loot first and talk to mirror man second. Mirror man is involved with Adda. Oh, wow, is Adda actually going to feature into the PLOT of the game? I thought she was just around for a quick reference and some T&A.

Anyway, I'm supposed to go talk to Triss and the merchant guy. Fair enough. I head downstairs first and kill some more Salamanders, but only get like 10 gold for my trouble. Psh.

Outside... cut scene. With a werewolf! A werewolf who seems fully in control of his actions, which is impressive. In fact, this werewolf appears to be Batman, killing Salamanders for great justice. There's an extended chase scene thing and then dialog. The werewolf immediately identifies himself as Vincent, the guard captain guy. Well... that was easy.

I offer to cure him, since I'm pretty sure he's Carmen's boyfriend, but he likes being Werewolf Batman. And there's no other dialog choices to continue the discussion, so I pick "why should I spare you" as the least likely to end with me killing him. I'm not quite sure why there's no "Carmen asked me to cure you" dialog option, but whatever. I am able to let him go, so good enough. And then....

Then I'm trapped in a section of the map with no apparent exit, and no marker telling me where to go. And one guard on the other side of an impenetrable wall trying to kill me for no apparent reason. I spend like 10 minutes wandering around and trying to use my force spell to break an exit before I realize that there's a VERY difficult to see doorway under an awning. Well shit.

I head through the Old Forge, into the sewer, and out into the Temple district. By now it's morning, so I head to the brothel to see Carmen. After some discussion, I give her some Fools Parsley and she tells me to come back later. I pick some herbs, rest (at the Dentist's) until noon, and return. Apparently she has tried the Fools Parsley in the meantime and it didn't work. Lovely. And...

....

And what? The quest says "try another method" but it doesn't say what the method is. True love was a method, I remember, but I guess that doesn't work since Carmen apparently loves him. I don't remember what the other method was. Crap.

I spend some time running around, but don't get far. Also, I leveled up, so I head back to Triss's to rest and level. Except she isn't there. ... of course, she's at the Inn full time now waiting for me to return with plot. Crap. Well, the easiest place to rest from Triss's house is to teleport to the swamp tower, so I do that and - Kalkstien has plot advancement! Horrah!

Now HE needs time. And he won't let me rest now. Fuck. Okay, fine.

I spend a few in-game hours killing monsters in the swamp. And picking herbs. Then I head back to the tower. Kalkstine needs... a virgin's tear. From an actual virgin.

... does Geralt know any virgins?

I check with the druids to see if they have any, but none of them have dialog, so I head back to the tower and teleport to Triss's again.

And that's where I'm at. I need to find a virgin. In the Witcher. That's like trying to find a virgin at Ohtori Academy. I'm screwed (pun intended).

Edit: And, I just realized, I never did rest and level up! Crap!

 

[Ryotknife]

What I dislike is that the game is saying (via mechanics) "all women just want to have babies" - which is bullshit. Or that all women, no matter how casual about sex now, are secretly trying to get you to give them that ring. It's like the other side of the sexism coin from the card collecting. Hell, it even sends the message (again, with mechanics) "if you sleep with the same woman twice, she'll nail you down with a kid and insist on a ring".

Methinks you might be ignoring the possible influence of a certain reality bending orphan.

while it would be cool if you choose Shani you go through the whole "family" thing and if you choose Triss they instead form the Tag Team Monster Slaying Champions of the World, unfortuntaly this would happen instead.

NO PEEKING BARA! MAJOR SPOILER

Spoiler

 

[exxxed]

Ah, that party... I think they get together every day to fuck around while the king is away, at least that's how I explained it to myself.

And thanks for the laugh about werewolf Batman, yea got lost in that section too, I effectively erase the tedious bits from my memory so I forgot about it on my second and third playthru' so it kept happening to me hehehe.

As for Adda, she as a bigger part in this whole mess you'll see.

Have fun!

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

NO PEEKING BARA! MAJOR SPOILER

... okay. **pout**

Ah, that party... I think they get together every day to fuck around while the king is away, at least that's how I explained it to myself.

I misread that the first time and thought you were implying that Triss was sleeping with the merchant guy. That is not an image I needed in my head (he wasn't very attractive).

And thanks for the laugh about werewolf Batman, yea got lost in that section too, I effectively erase the tedious bits from my memory so I forgot about it on my second and third playthru' so it kept happening to me hehehe.

That dot for the entrance to the old forge was really misleading. I kept going where the dot seemed to be and not finding a door. I had to rotate the camera JUST right to get my cursor to change to the Door one so I could go through.

Also, I was very bitter about not being able to loot all those Salamandra that Vincent killed.

Speaking of Salamnders... if I can't sell their badges to anyone (and I can't seem to) is there anyone I can sell their drugs too? I have 16 units of drugs and no more quests (as far as I know) where I can get rewarded for them. My Inn Inventory is on it's second page now - I need to sell some of this useless crap.

 

[exxxed]

I misread that the first time and thought you were implying that Triss was sleeping with the merchant guy. That is not an image I needed in my head (he wasn't very attractive).

I'm never gonna see Triss from The Witcher 1 the same again, thanks.

Speaking of Salamnders... if I can't sell their badges to anyone (and I can't seem to) is there anyone I can sell their drugs too? I have 16 units of drugs and no more quests (as far as I know) where I can get rewarded for them. My Inn Inventory is on it's second page now - I need to sell some of this useless crap.

And the real funny part is, I never used the inn inventory system... ever, what the heck are you clogging it up with?!

You can throw those badges away they're useless after that quest as far as I know, as for the drugs you can sell them to Coleman (same dude I remember you mentioning a package for), oh but I bet you helped the Scoia'tael back when you were supposed to guard Haren Brogg's shite on the riverbank so Coleman was killed by the very same Scoia'tael fuckwads who mislead you (the dude struck down by arrows in the temple district inn when you first enter it).

Try Kalkstein he usually dabbles about with questionable substances or someone of his caliber.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

And the real funny part is, I never used the inn inventory system... ever, what the heck are you clogging it up with?!

Well, I can't open the game menu to give you a full accounting, but...

My meteor sword (since I have better now).

150 Drowner Brains, 100 Drowned Dead Tongues, 50 Cadaverdine, 50 Gantz Acid, 50 Ghoul Blood, 50 Hellbore, 50 White Mirtle, ... 50 of any other alchemical components I had more than 50 of (whenever an alchemical component fills one stack and starts another, I drop the stack of 50 off at the inn). Also, some other alchemical components like mistletoe, cockatrice feathers, or similar where I only have a small number and can't easily acquire more. This is to make sure that I never have to discard an important component when finding a new one in the field.

Also, I have at least one of every food item stored - usually more than one. I have a stack of 10 pears, grapes, chickens, chicken sandwiches, cows milk, raspberries, raspberry juice, etc. After I get a stack of 10, I start selling the items to the Inn waitress.

I also store any non-strong alcohol. I have stacks of each kind of beer and wine (so weak and medium) alcohol. I save the weak stuff for when I have to drink with an NPC so avoid passing out as quickly.

Oh, and I have a stockpile of gifts. Various flowers, including three kinds of roses. Red shawl and matching gloves. A diamond, a sapphire, a ruby. And a ton of rings. Remember when I went to give Triss one? I pulled four different kinds out of my Inn inventory to see which one she liked (she ended up going for the ruby silver signet instead of the gold and diamond or gold and sapphires which cost more).

Also, I have about 6 stacks of 10 flint in there. I've sold a few stacks, but I'm loathe to sell more in case the next chapter has me in the wilderness and relying on campfires more.

Two stacks of fisstech, and 4 stacks of Salamander badges. Two stacks of Barghest skulls. Two stacks of wolf pelts.

WHY do I have all this stored? Well, because it makes NPC fetch quests easy. NPC X wants a bottle of mead? I have 7. Triss wants a ring? What kind - I have more types than the jewelry merchant. The dentist wants Barghest skulls? I've been carrying them since chapter 1. NPC Y wants a red shawl? I have one. Wait, no, she wants red gloves? I have those too. NPC Z wants cow's milk? Got some waiting.

In theory I could sell all this stuff off for a tidy profit, but I'm worried I'd have to re-buy items for quests. My storage habits have already allowed me to get through several quests very easily, so I don't really plan to change. It's mostly items that have no further use - like the Salamander badges - that I'd like to liquidate.

And yes, in case it isn't obvious, I'm the kind of RPG player who hates to use an Elixir while fighting the final boss in case there's another, tougher boss hiding behind that boss. Even if I have 99 Elixirs in my inventory.

 

[exxxed]

You are not a sane person are you?

I am joking of course, wow you really didn't have to type all that, I already figured it out since that stuff occupied my inventory and then ended up on the ground in my first two playthru's then I never bothered stacking them because you don't really need them all in the end (well maybe in some cases you need that extra juice, in which I always end up on the wrong side of and have to struggle, but it's fun).

Well then, you won't have any difficulty problems regarding your preparation that's for damn sure hehe, like I always say, always better to have more than less.

Cheerio' and have fun!

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

wow you really didn't have to type all that.

It amused me. And that was only the stuff I could remember.

I am well aware that I am a Video game item hoarder. If I can squirrel away items for future use (that will likely never come) I will.

It comes from playing some of the Final Fantasy games where it was difficult to obtain certain items, so if you could grind for them, you SHOULD grind for them... and then never use them, because you might need them for the Bonus Boss or something.

 

[Fell]

wow you really didn't have to type all that.

It amused me. And that was only the stuff I could remember.

I am well aware that I am a Video game item hoarder. If I can squirrel away items for future use (that will likely never come) I will.

It comes from playing some of the Final Fantasy games where it was difficult to obtain certain items, so if you could grind for them, you SHOULD grind for them... and then never use them, because you might need them for the Bonus Boss or something.

I believe you are suffering from "But i might need it later" syndrome. It is a very common illness among people who play video games

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

Update: I found a Virgin!

So apparently some of the nurses aren't party girls. Too bad - I kind of liked it better when I thought they were.

Anyway, virgin tears collected.

I tried to deliver them to Kalkstein, but he didn't know what I was talking about - apparently I just needed the tears and the potion was already in my inventory. I guess? Whatever.

So I gave the potion to Carmen. She needed time, so I went to the inn to mess with my inventory (and sell some food to the waitress) and I was going to do some boxing, but all the boxers are at the new Inn I guess, so I couldn't. Anyway, I decided to say hi to Carmen on my way by to see if she was done and - wow, she was. I didn't realize the "come back later" meant "come back in five minutes".

Anyway, that didn't work. Apparently the last resort is True Love. Except that Vincent calls her a dirty whore. Well... fuck you Vincent. I go have a "word" with him and apparently that works. So I run around the town collecting herbs for a few minutes then go check on Carmen. And yes! Vincent is cured! Horray! Wow... that was surprisingly easy. So, basically, Vincent was cursed for being a jerk to Carmen. Huh.

Well, that appears to be.. oh, wait, one of the nurses is outside the hospital now. She asks me to go see her grandma, but grandma (the same grandma from Shari's house, lazy programmers) kicks me out. The quest log suggests I come back at night.

... fuck it.

I teleport to the tower, make it Night - and remember to level up! Yay! In only a few more levels I'll start getting Gold medals.

I teleport back to town and check on Grandma. There's a vampire in her basement, so I kill it. Upstairs, grandma yells at me. Wow, she's crazy. I teleport back to Kalkstein, make it morning, and then go talk to the nurse. She pays me 50 gold and quest complete. Nice!

Finally, I head to see the merchant guy. He... tells me to see Triss, who's vanished from the Inn. Crap. I check her house, and she's back there, but still in her party dress. She tells me about the gem thing so I head back to the merchant, who wants me to come back later. I run around the grave yard murdering monster and then head back and he's ready to dish. I need to find some allies. Groovy.

I head over to talk to Siegfried, but he tells me off! Well, finally! I thought you were going to love me forever for no good reason. Weirdly, though, his merchant will still buy my used weapons.

Yaaven, meanwhile, agrees to help me! Horray! So I didn't lock myself out of working with the Squirrels after all. Oh good, I was worried about that.

I head back to see Triss, and she has another mission for me first. I go talk to the mirror guy who is... the King of some neighboring country. I get the impression that he wants to marry Adda. Mostly from his inquires about what kind of children she'd produce. Hm. Probably best Geralt not get too involved in THAT one.

Well then, all quests appear to be resolved (other than the fucking dentist - where am I supposed to find Alip fangs?!) so I guess it's about time to tell Triss that I'm ready for the Big Meeting.

Which I will do... next time.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

The End of Chapter 3:

So, I loaded the game and immediately told Triss that I was ready to go. We headed to the inn where Geralt and Vincent are immediately attacked. Group style makes short work of my foes. Vincent... barely survives (wow, tiny sliver of health left there). And I get a cut scene about how much Carmen and Vincent love one another. Neat! I'm guessing if I hadn't killed that last Salamander when I did that said cut scene would have been a lot sadder.

Anyway, the Innkeerp is gone, so I can't store the utterly massive pile of Salamander loot I've got. Dammit! I take what I can carry and abandon the rest. I really did want to drop stuff off in storage before things got too serious.

Upstairs, I meet up with everyone and get teleported directly to the Salamander base. Nifty. I start cautious, kiting enemies into the hallway to handle them in twos and threes. Not really necessary, but caution is always a smart idea.

After looting the bodies and the room, I meet up with Yavven. He wants me to get a crystal from a mage. He seems to this this will be difficult.

I kill the mage. And Yaavven gets really hurt! Damn, why do my NPCs suck at life so much?

Anyway, I open the portal and it is BATTLE ROYALLE TIME!

After killing tons of dudes, I avoid the plot and loot. Oh my the looting. I loot so much the game gets bored and spawns another set of Salamanders to kill me. So I kill them AND loot them too! Bwahaha! Suck that game!

Anyway, I head to the - smackdown cutscene. Sigh. But wait, now I get to continue solo. So I do so. I enter a room and fight some salamanders while a bunch of spiders just stand around. Huh. Suspicious. I kill all the spiders just to be safe.

Then I head in. The Main badguy teleports out and the Professors stays to kill me. He also summons up a pair of giant spiders.

And the fucking SPIDERS kill me.

Fortunately, I saved before approaching, so I reload there.

Okay, time to plan this better. I'm already over half toxicity (due to other potions used) so taking a swallow now would have me hallucinating. Instead I take a White Honey to cancel all current effects. Because I'm awesome and made it with Negrido, I get a 20% damage buff. Nice.

I THEN take a Cat (so I can see) and a Swallow (for the Regen). I put the instant Vitality potions (with Rubido Regen) and Blizzard potions in my quick slots (since another Swallow won't help) and head in.

This time, I start with the silver blade and focus on the giant spiders. Once their killed, I switch to Steel and kill the Professor. Awesome - what a difference a Swallow potion, a Negrido damage buff, and some strategy made.

And it's cut scene time! We fall into a cave and there's another giant spider - that burrows into the ground. Huh. I try to loot the now dead Professor, but there's no loot to be had. However, there is a crate of money that I loot.

Okay, the mission says kill the Spider Queen. Cool. I save and get out my silver sword. The spider is being coy, so I cross the room - and there she is. I charge her with my silver sword.

And get INSTANTLY KILLED!

FFFUUUU.....!

Reload. Okay, so maybe I'm supposed to escape first? I the monster appears again, but I keep going and - Geralt says something about knocking out the supports. I turn around and try fire (as the spider approaches) but that doesn't work, so I try the force spell and GET INSTANTLY KILLED BY FALLING DEBRIS.

FFFFFFUUUUUUUU.....!

Okay. This time I switch to force spell before heading over there. I sprint farther down, charge up the Force spell, and unleash it as the spider gets close. The debris falls on the spider! And the spider... keeps coming. I run into the next room where there are a ton of little spiders, so many I can't get past them. Then, suddenly, they all run away. I run to the other side of the room, turn to use my force spell and-- am INSTANTLY KILLED BY THE SPIDER QUEEN WHO JUST APPEARED RIGHT THE FUCK BEHIND ME.

FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKKK!!!

Variations on this happen a few more times, including getting squashed by debris or killed by the giant spider in various locations.

Finally, I just fucking run for it. I don't bother collapsing anything and I just sprint to the room with all the spiders. I get swarmed and can't make it to the other side, but something weird happens - they don't run away. I fight my way through several and get to the other side, turn to bring down the roof... and see the Spider Queen has Clipped into a wall and is stuck there.

Pfft!

Okay, but I also went too far and can't collapse the roof because there are too many smaller spiders and my force spell doesn't go far enough. So I have to murder my way back through, killing dozens of spiders with silver group style, until I'm close enough to knock down the support. Success!! I start to run away and the Spider Queen no-clips over -- FUC-- no, wait, she's been crushed! Yay!

I loot a couple dozen small spiders and the big one. Yay loot! And then I run for it before the game decides to hit me with some other bullshit.

Outside, I bump into Adda. Oh good.

Adda: "Execute him!"

Me: "... well fuck."

Geralt: "Give me one last kiss."

Me: "Good thinking Geralt! You have tons of weapons and spells. Take the Princess hostage and Escape!"

?Triss?: "I don't think so."

**Geralt teleports out**

Me: "Oh. Well. I guess that works."

And thus did Chapter 3 end.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

Chapter 4 Begins:

And I'm on the beach. And there's a chatty little girl. Okay. I question her and mostly just learn A) Weirdness, B) Love Triangle and C) Fish People.

Groovy.

I meet a Fish Person Priest who asks me to pray to the Lady of the Lake. Since this is Geralt, I assume kneeling before a woman is something he's pretty used to. **rimshot** So I agree. And then, like magic, I bump into a naked Naiad. Funny, she looks identical to the naked Dryad I met last chapter. Anyway, she wants me to kill some drowners for her. Hopefully these are upgraded drowners, not the ones from last chapter that only give me 1 xp now. She offers me trinkets - why can't Geralt just say "you can pay me with sex" since that's clearly what he wants? She's a Naiad, she won't mind. Nymphs love having sex.

Anyway, I now get to explore a bit. I pass a house (of the Fisher King, whomever the fuck that is) and kill the first batch of Drowners. The next one is on that island the little girl mentioned. Okay then - I try to take the Boat, but apparently I have to ask the Fisher King first. So I do. By this time, my inventory is dangerously full, so I rest an hour which I spend making potions to use up some of the alcohol and restock after the many, many potions I used during teh Salamander raid. Also, I got a unique potion component from the spider queen, so I make that and drink it to free up another inventory slot. Ah, much better. Now I just need to find an Inn.

First thing first, though - there are drowners to kill. I head to the island and they're right there. That was easy. And yes, these are the crappy 1xp type. Ah well. There are also some wyverns on the island! I murder them for XP.

The last batch of drowners are back in the previous area (why didn't I go after them first?) so I head there.

I wander around a bit, pick up some random crap, kill a vampire, and pass the Tomb (I'll go there later, after I find the inn). Which, it turns out, is where Dandelion is heading.

Did I mention I just ran into Dandelion? No? Well, that's because he yammers on about several irrelevant things. And one relevant thing - apparently Alvin is here. For some reason.

Wat.

Okay, is Alvin the final boss? Or is he stalking me? This is just getting creepy.

Anyway, I follow Dandelion to the Inn, where I talk to an inn keeper... and can't access storage. Weird. But there's another inn keeper who DOES let me access storage.

Huh?

Whatever. I drop off some rubies, diamonds, and Salamander badges (I now have 7 stacks of those). I also drop of my Salamander weapons until I find a weapon merchant to sell them to.

That done, I headed out to finish those drowners - and dawn dawned, meaning they won't spawn. Crap. Okay, time to explore the town, I guess.

Next time.

So, here I am in Chapter 4. I'm liking the fact that, like the first town, I can run into monsters outside at night. That always spices things up.

 

[Norrdicus]

Chapter 4 is mostly going to be this sort of a breather from the main plot that lets you see what Geralt's daily life is like

Captcha: come what may

Yes captcha, that was my attitude during the chapter. It had annoyingly large areas which resulted in quite a bit of running around, but it was strangely calming too

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

What I've been reading instead of continuing chapter 4:

[sub]You can blame DVS BSTrD for introducing me to this webcomic.[/sub]

I'll play more tomorrow. Promise.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

I'll play more tomorrow. Promise.

... I lied.

I was going to! But then someone wanted to show me the latest episode of Doctor Who on their DVR. And... well... yeah. Sorry everyone. I promise I'll post again soon.

Until I actually do play more, have another comic that is mildly related to the thread topic:

Isn't Good Old Games cute? ^^

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

Update!

Okay, so I continued playing today.

First, I decided to explore the new map and Gather ALL the Herbs!

While I was exploring around, I bumped into a Giant Centipede that was hard to hit (cause it kept dodging back down and screwing up my combos). So I set it on fire. HA. Burn underground or burn above, it's all the same to me you spineless fucker!

**rimshot**

... because centipedes are invertebrates. They don't have spines. GET IT?!

Bad puns and meta-humor aside, I found a broken bridge, found the spot where the Naiad told me to go, and then headed back to look around the town. The Blacksmith BOUGHT MY FISSTICK! yes! I'll have to sell him the rest... unless I need some more fisstick later? Maybe I should save some....

Oh, and the Blacksmith would NOT buy Salamander Badges. Fucker.

Having collected all the herbs in town I could find, I decided to avoid one plot and follow another by utterly ignoring Alvin and instead going to the cave with the mysterious Witcher. And - yes, it IS Beringer. Wasn't he supposed to be captured? I was expecting to find him back at the Salamander Base. Huh.

Anyway, he wants me to help him find some armor. Kay. I murder a ton of Alips - and get Alip fangs! Too bad the Dentist is back in the fucking CITY. Grr. The quest is still in my journal- can I complete this later?

Anyway, I also get some armor bit. Neat? It's a quest item, and Beringer seems very lasi fare about me taking the armor bit he just risked his life for, but whatevs. We head outside and talk at his campfire.

So he played ball with the Salamanders and they just let him go? Jerk. Oh well. He gives me his "make peace" contract and then suggests I simply murder one side. ... wow, this guy really doesn't get the meaning of "peace" does he? Neither does my Journal because one quest now suggests I go on a violent killing spree of friendly NPC fishman. Fuck that. I'm working this peace out just to spite this guy and my Journal.

That done, I wander back towards the beach and stumble on some elves (like, a lot of them). A couple of them know me, and one asks me to go on a mission to get them bread. They give me 20 gold to buy it with.

Funny thing is, I already HAVE five bread. In my inn inventory. So I got get 6 bread. For some jerky reason, I have the option to say I could only get them four, but not give them six instead. Fine, whatever. Here's your five bread because I can't be selfless and give you extra. Grr.

Still, it's worth good XP and it used up that bread.

I head off and decide to check out this Field that keeps showing up on my map. So I go there and get attacked by a Noonwraith. That was... interesting.

Then I find a hermit who talks to me. He wants me to fight the Wild Hunt.

....

So he wants me to commit suicide then? Geralt thinks he can handle it. I assume that means the game thinks so too. Thing is, the Wild Hunt is pretty fucking impossible to kill. I know because I've read the Dresden Files, and Harry Dresden is a man I can trust to tell me what's what.

Apparently, though, Mandrake root makes this a cakewalk. To get the hunt to show up I gotta piss him off by killing some wraiths first.

Do Noonwraiths count? Cause I've killed two or three of those.

Whatever. I grab some mandrake root (lots of new herbs!) and continue on. I also kill some fish people because the game really really doesn't want me to use Diplomacy. Well crap. They attacked me first.

I keep going, pass an abandoned mill or something, and then return to the village road near the broken bridge. Ah, nice loop. Good to know. Also, I LOVE not having to pay 5 gold to go to the "daytime enemy location" if I want to kill shit for fun. Thank you Chapter 4. So much easier than getting to the Swamp (even by teleport, considering those impenetrable walls of plant surrounding the tower). You guys were right - I like this location.

Anyway, I head to the inn to drop off my many, many new alchemical components and realize that I forgot to check the quest board outside this inn. Ah! The Inn keeper needs Wyvern eggs. I have 16 in my inn storage, so bam, done. Also, the town head man wants Allip fangs and the head of one of the fish people I killed in the field. Cool.

... if only the sun hadn't gone down while I was screwing around killing a centipede. Now the headman has vanished so I have to wait until tomorrow to do that.

I head back to the inn, store my decapitated fishman head, and then head off to kill those drowners (since I might need the lead drowner head - who knows).

On the way there, I spot a group of three things... Devourers! I haven't seen them before (that I recall) and I need their teeth for the dentist too. So I attack them. And they're pretty damn tough. Not Royal Wyvern tough, but they make the fight a challenge. Anyway, I loot their bodies, get some teeth, and then head off to kill the drowners. Which I do. And there's the lead one. He is pathetic and dies easily. I loot him, and he has her necklace. Yay!

Back to the Naiad (killing various critters on the way). Good times. I turn the necklace over to her and she offers me a book on Fishpeople (which I've read), a silver sword Rune, or infinite healing. Since I auto-heal, I choose the Rune.

Was healing a subtle way of saying sex? Oh well, she looks identical to the Dryad, so I bet she has the came stupid card anyway.

She also gives me an anti-drowner charm. I... wonder what that does. No really - does it make them not spawn? Ignore me? What? That could be really useful when I just want to ignore crappy drowners who only give me 1xp and a drowner brain (which I have 150 of).

And... that's where I had to stop.

So, my readers, what should I do next? Should I go visit Alvin? Should I pursue peace? Should I wait until morning and turn in a decapitated head?

I await suggestions.