Another post about a girl...

[BOOM headshot65]

All the cries of `Friendzoned, bro!` are funny to me. I was friends with my boyfriend for months before we started going out.

You are the 1%... That doesn't mean that everyone else should stay in miserable dependent friendzone-type relationships in case 3 years down the line she changes her mind, that's a waste of life, there are plenty of women out there.

I imagine it would be miserable, if you are the kind of guy who pins all his hopes and dreams on one woman, following her around pretending to be her friend while pining away at night. But those guys are not friends. I'm talking about someone who is, actually, your friend- who can pursue other people, but not rule out something more happening later on.

Yeah, you don't really know how men work, you cannot be a true friend to a girl that you are romantically and sexually attracted to, it is just not possible. You CAN be great friends with someone that you find fun, interesting but not attractive, but that's an entirely different thing.

Thats BS. That is the kind of thinking that causes relationships to end. When you stop treating a your other half like a friend, and like...I guess you are going with a sack of flesh (I HOPE IM WRONG!!), then you will have problems.

 

[sumanoskae]

Yeah, you don't really know how men work, you cannot be a true friend to a girl that you are romantically and sexually attracted to, it is just not possible. You CAN be great friends with someone that you find fun, interesting but not attractive, but that's an entirely different thing.

It certainly is possible.
Not all men work the exact same anyways.

Sounds to me like you need to just go for it, don't be a brute, just go in for one of those kisses, or say it straight up. If she says crap like "I've never thought about it", you'll know she's lying, in which case she probably doesn't know how she feels.

The worst case scenario is that she flat out rejects you(After all this leading you on, in which case she's not worth your time), you're out a friend, but at least you have closure.

What??? Maybe if she just wanted a good friend that's not worth his time?

Well then she shouldn't be implying the exact opposite!.

If she honestly can't see why he would feel differently after everything that's happened so far, she's probably either confused or being disingenuous.

And if she in all honesty hasn't seen ANY romantic undertones in their recent activity, then she should understand why he would.

If she can't even do that, then she's not his friend.

 

[Giftfromme]

Honestly, just get her to be your wing chick and help you pickup other girls. If they she readily helps you, then she really isn't interested in pursuing anything with you. If she has issues with it, it might be because wants something but isn't quite sure etc. or she could be really bitchy and not want you to have anyone lol. In that case, RUN AWAY from her

 

[tobyornottoby]

If she honestly can't see why he would feel differently after everything that's happened so far, she's probably either confused or being disingenuous.

And if she in all honesty hasn't seen ANY romantic undertones in their recent activity, then she should understand why he would.

If she can't even do that, then she's not his friend.

Well, with social interaction there are a lot of grey areas, interpretations, subjective perspectives, etc. It's perfectly possible she didn't mean it that way without being confused or disingenuous. We're only hearing one biased side of the story here, remember.

It certainly is true she has to understand and respect where he's coming from, she should do that as a friend. But that's not mutually exclusive with flat out rejecting him.

 

[aristos_achaion]

I'm going to go against the common wisdom here: since the girl in question has obviously had difficulty in previous relationships, I think her closeness / comfort around the OP are *good* signs. She'll be more likely to trust the OP than some random guy she just met, and given how much she obviously already trusts him, she'll be much more likely to see how the problems with past boyfriends don't apply here. I don't really think girls friendzone guys as much as we think they do -- plenty of guys friendzone themselves by never giving women reason to view them as more than friends.

OP, what you lack is confidence. Being sensitive and caring isn't the same thing as being passive and deferential -- you've got to believe that she likes you and show her that she should like you back, all while being sensitive to her feelings and boundaries. You don't have to come on strong -- but if, say, you're sharing a moment watching a movie on the couch, maybe scooting a little closer or even taking her hand would be about right -- and seeing how she reacts. Slowly but fearlessly -- if she reacts badly, just be a gentleman, calmly apologize, and say you'd misread her. But if she reacts well...well, don't freak out or push it too far -- just let things progress naturally while making sure she's comfortable with what's going on. And, for the love of God -- if a girl's looking at you like she wants you to kiss her, kiss her!

 

[sumanoskae]

If she honestly can't see why he would feel differently after everything that's happened so far, she's probably either confused or being disingenuous.

And if she in all honesty hasn't seen ANY romantic undertones in their recent activity, then she should understand why he would.

If she can't even do that, then she's not his friend.

Well, with social interaction there are a lot of grey areas, interpretations, subjective perspectives, etc. It's perfectly possible she didn't mean it that way without being confused or disingenuous. We're only hearing one biased side of the story here, remember.

It certainly is true she has to understand and respect where he's coming from, she should do that as a friend. But that's not mutually exclusive with flat out rejecting him.

I didn't say that there was no possibility that she see's things differently, I'm saying she PROBABLY doesn't. Yes, her idea of "Friendship" may be radically different from his, but it sounds like it would have to be so radically different that she would come to realize it by now.

Perhaps I should have worded myself differently, I'm nit saying that rejecting him should end the relationship, I'm just saying it probably will. It's hard to have a platonic relationship with somebody you want to have sex with.

 

[])rStrangelove]

Soooooooo ...


.. how did it go?

This is actually one of those threads you want to follow a bit longer.

 

[LT Cannibal 68]

^^^^^ what this guy said ill keep my eye on this a bit longer.