Anyone else feel like this?

[TheAceTheOne]

(This could turn into a bit of a whiny rant. Apologies if it does)
Okay, so I've got a good life right now, overall. It seems that way, anyway.

Grades are good, all A's, in AP Courses that'll give me college credit.

I have a band now, and something planned for Halloween.

My girlfriend's talking to me and is overall wonderful.

Parents are being cool for once, and I'm making friends everywhere.

Now comes the complaints.

I *still* haven't gotten my driver's license due to a paperwork screw-up.

(The big one...) My girlfriend and I had a relatively massive fight yesterday night, and I cursed (Okay, I said "You're damn right", but she considers that akin to me telling her to "fuck off and die"), and she went off on me this morning. We're still together, and have turned our relationship back into good territory after I made it into a temporary disasterpiece. But I still feel really really bad about it. I don't want to lose her, and she doesn't want to lose me (I don't think), so I can't complain... But I do feel like a jerk. (*takes a breath*)

While I have a lot to feel good about, I feel like I don't quite deserve it. Mostly in relation to my girlfriend. She's so good to me, but I end up making mistakes... and she loves me despite that.

Basically, what I feel like right now is... Depressed. I haven't slept all month alone (I've taken sleep aids to help me, and even then, sleeping is a struggle. I've had fairly common nightmares as well.) I haven't shaved in three weeks, and I look horrible.

I got all this stuff that I should feel great about, but I don't. I feel like I want to crawl into a hole and never come out, like someone else should have my good things.

/rant

So... I guess my question is... Have any of you felt like this? And have you gotten over it? If so, how?

 

[TheAceTheOne]

Oi... Being a senior in High School... You'd think we're kings of the world from the high and mighty act we put on. But when it comes to life, we know fuck all. And I still don't understand women when it comes to relationships. After a 6 year relationship with my current girlfriend, you'd think I'd have a clue, right, mates?

Aye... Everyone feels like this at some point. But they get over it, right?

Not everyone spends their teen years being angst lol. I actually spent mine tell people who were angst to fuck off as to not mess with my smile lol.

I do that, mostly. Only thing is sometimes life gets to me. I try really hard not to let it. One thing about me is when I break down, I don't to a half-ass job of it. I go all the way with emotions. That means I love and hate with all my heart and when I'm down, it's always to this extreme level.

You really have little to complain about. Just look at all the good stuff you have mate, and cheer the fuck up!

I know you're right. I should be able to, but for some reason, I'm having trouble with it. Hence the rant. Usually, I'd keep it to myself.

 

[Sintrea]

Yeah I had a good old teenage depression, this is how I solved it.

The worst part about being a teenager is you can't sleep with anyone.
And when I say that I mean sleep, not sex.
You can't sleep in your parents bed, cause you're too old. And you can't sleep in your significant others bed cause your too young.

When I was at that stage I had the worst sleeps. Basically doing all the tricks and I was lucky if I fell asleep after an hour. And they were full of sleep walking and talking and screaming and all that jazz.
(You know that part in paranormal were the girl just stands next to the bed? Yeah that was me.)

Moved out with my boyfriend as soon as I could, 2 days after I turned 18, and I have been sleeping like a baby every night since.
Something about being close to someone or something.

That was my cure, it's amazing what a good nights sleep can do. Being a teenager sucks though cause there's nothing to do but wait, so tough it out! It gets so much better.

 

[Stall]

Yup. I went through that too, when I was a senior nonetheless. My social life sort-of went to shit when I was a senior, but that was my fault more than anything (I'm somewhat getting it back on track). I got over the little bout of depression just fine.

 

[The Pinray]

I miss highschool. Life was so much easier back then. Back when I felt like that.

My only advice is enjoy it while it lasts!

 

[King of the Sandbox]

Hobbies. Find one. Dive into it headfirst. Basically distract your brain, because at this time in your life, it's finishing up writing your basic thought code, and it can confuse your consciousness sometimes.

Also, drop that girl. Getting mad over that is stupid, and she's going to get waaaaay more irrational as her brain finishes up it's re-wiring job, too. And trust me, you don't wanna be around for that. Y'know, unless you enjoy being called a jerk and having a major fight every time you let a curse word slip. Heck, just look at it this way, she gets that mad over something that trivial, imagine when you do something that SHOULD piss someone off.

 

[Phlakes]

...I'll take those good things. That would be a nice change for me.

Anyway, for the depression I'll give you my usual (field-tested and proven) advice- punch it in the dick and tell it to piss off.

For everything else, just wait. It's that easy. After 16-18 years your life has basically stagnated, but once you get into college, boy howdy I tell ya mm hm prune juice. Interpret that as you like.

 

[LobsterFeng]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but you're depressed because your life is good but you feel like you don't deserve it? Hmm, that's a new one. At least I've never heard of that before.

Well yeah I'm constantly depressed all the time too, but that's just because my life generally sucks. The only thing that got me through High School was the fact that I had such good friends, except they're all at college now and I'm not because I didn't do to well in High School, nor do I have enough money.

But that doesn't keep me from laughing, making jokes, and even being happy from time to time. I'd just say enjoy the time with your friends and/or girlfriend while you have it. If you feel guilty about something whenever you're around them then maybe you could try talking about it with them. Then again, I don't know any of you so I don't know if that would work or not.

Also, like people have said, find a hobby. If you don't feel like you can commit yourself to anything, then try finding something you like watching about something you're interested in. For example, I like video games, but I also kind of find it hard to play them at the same time. But I love watching Let's Plays on Youtube, so maybe something like that will help.

 

[TheAceTheOne]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but you're depressed because your life is good but you feel like you don't deserve it? Hmm, that's a new one. At least I've never heard of that before.

I'm weird enough that that's why I'm depressed, yes.

Well yeah I'm constantly depressed all the time too, but that's just because my life generally sucks. The only thing that got me through High School was the fact that I had such good friends, except they're all at college now and I'm not because I didn't do to well in High School, nor do I have enough money.

I didn't care about anything until this year, and that's because my girlfriend encouraged me. If it wasn't for her, I'd be failing pretty hardcore.

But that doesn't keep me from laughing, making jokes, and even being happy from time to time. I'd just say enjoy the time with your friends and/or girlfriend while you have it. If you feel guilty about something whenever you're around them then maybe you could try talking about it with them. Then again, I don't know any of you so I don't know if that would work or not.

I'm a massive smartass, and that generally helps. But it doesn't make me feel good for a long time. Girlfriend is in another state, and friends are too busy. Go figure, right?

Also, like people have said, find a hobby. If you don't feel like you can commit yourself to anything, then try finding something you like watching about something you're interested in. For example, I like video games, but I also kind of find it hard to play them at the same time. But I love watching Let's Plays on Youtube, so maybe something like that will help.

I have began watching some intellectually focused anime and writing more. I play a lot of videogames and I'm fairly decent at them. But for the most part, even with that, I still end up thinking about my friends and girlfriend and school, and how I feel like they deserve someone better.

(Just realized that I've been depressed like this for two days straight. I'm never like this.)

 

[SckizoBoy]

snip

Huh... not to sound an arse, but you taken selfishness, turned it on its head and taken it to its logical extreme. Now, just view it from your friends/girlfriend's PoV. They're OK around you, aren't they? Consequently, they believe that you deserve their time/company/affections, problem solved. Just don't think about it, and continue being what you are.

Anyway, to answer the topic title... life = good, but feel bad about it... as a chronic major depressive, I feel 'bad' by default, almost regardless of how I come across. But, were I to pick a particular time, um, probably the duration of my ex-girlfriend's pregnancy, I guess.

 

[TheAceTheOne]

snip

Huh... not to sound an arse, but you taken selfishness, turned it on its head and taken it to its logical extreme. Now, just view it from your friends/girlfriend's PoV. They're OK around you, aren't they? Consequently, they believe that you deserve their time/company/affections, problem solved. Just don't think about it, and continue being what you are.

It's perfectly valid to say that. You're pretty much right. Me and my gal are working to better our relationship... and one thing we're (read as: I'm) working on is being less selfish... Maybe I've gone too far, though... But I don't want to be selfish because my gal doesn't want me to be selfish. I want what's best for her. Friends don't really factor into why I feel bad. They're more... Good people who hang out with me because, yeah, they think I'm cool. It's enough to make my brain want to bleed.

 

[SckizoBoy]

It's perfectly valid to say that. You're pretty much right. Me and my gal are working to better our relationship... and one thing we're (read as: I'm) working on is being less selfish... Maybe I've gone too far, though... But I don't want to be selfish because my gal doesn't want me to be selfish. I want what's best for her. Friends don't really factor into why I feel bad. They're more... Good people who hang out with me because, yeah, they think I'm cool. It's enough to make my brain want to bleed.

I think you've got the 'not being selfish' bit down fairly well, but you rather overshot the mark. Now, you're worried that you're not good company for those around you. That too, when overthought/excessive, can be just as detrimental as being selfish. So, you need to remember that yes, you need to consider the needs/wants of your friends/girlfriend, but just don't forget about your own.

Come to think about it... I think that's how one of my relationships fell down. By the end, I was incapable of letting her do anything for me.

 

[TheAceTheOne]

It's perfectly valid to say that. You're pretty much right. Me and my gal are working to better our relationship... and one thing we're (read as: I'm) working on is being less selfish... Maybe I've gone too far, though... But I don't want to be selfish because my gal doesn't want me to be selfish. I want what's best for her. Friends don't really factor into why I feel bad. They're more... Good people who hang out with me because, yeah, they think I'm cool. It's enough to make my brain want to bleed.

I think you've got the 'not being selfish' bit down fairly well, but you rather overshot the mark. Now, you're worried that you're not good company for those around you. That too, when overthought/excessive, can be just as detrimental as being selfish. So, you need to remember that yes, you need to consider the needs/wants of your friends/girlfriend, but just don't forget about your own.

Come to think about it... I think that's how one of my relationships fell down. By the end, I was incapable of letting her do anything for me.

I do want her to do things for me. She's struggling with her own stuff too. The fight started over me pointing out (in kind of a bad way) that she wasn't focusing on me hardly at all. I tried to make it sound unselfish... But how do you do that?

I love her to death, man... And I don't want to lose her because I'm being a jerk.

 

[Evidencebased]

snip

(Just realized that I've been depressed like this for two days straight. I'm never like this.)

Well if this uncharacteristic depression lasts more than 2 weeks, hie thee to a therapist and get checked out because that's a sign of possible clinical depression. If it's your brain chemicals screwing with you for the lolz then stuff like getting a hobby might not help, and proper medical care -- or at least a little counseling -- might be called for (source: my own jerkass brain chemicals.)

But if you're just going through the normal teenage ups-and-downs (effing hormones!) then I suggest accepting that those happen, and not worrying about it too much; you can exercise and eat right, and work hard at school, and take time to play games, and basically just wait it out a bit until you feel better.

Edit: Even if you aren't officially crazy like I am, therapists can also help with relationship problems! And then you won't be forced to choose between your girlfriend or the Escapist when you need a hand with something, or a space to vent and be self-centered. (I'm a big ol' fan of counseling, if that wasn't clear.)

 

[TheAceTheOne]

snip

(Just realized that I've been depressed like this for two days straight. I'm never like this.)

Well if this uncharacteristic depression lasts more than 2 weeks, hie thee to a therapist and get checked out because that's a sign of possible clinical depression. If it's your brain chemicals screwing with you for the lolz then stuff like getting a hobby might not help, and proper medical care -- or at least a little counseling -- might be called for (source: my own jerkass brain chemicals.)

But if you're just going through the normal teenage ups-and-downs (effing hormones!) then I suggest accepting that those happen, and not worrying about it too much; you can exercise and eat right, and work hard at school, and take time to play games, and basically just wait it out a bit until you feel better.

Been to so many psych doctors, been diagnosed with so many things. I think the latest diagnosis was ADHD. Last year's trend was depression.

I haven't ever felt this down before. And usually, when I'm down, it's the angsty teenage "I want to belong!!!!1!1!111!" stuff. Now... It feels like everything I've known about myself has gone poof and left since Saturday night.