Anyone else think that the way we ask people out is incredibly messed up?
- Thread starter ImBigBob
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1.Just do what i do, give up and watch some porn.
2.When your done with the porn, go play video games.
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2.When your done with the porn, go play video games.
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yes, i completely agree. and i will never go random woman hunting. if and when i meet a woman it is due to similar hobbies (mostly movies and games nowadays) and only then i will go for compactability check. i dont judge people from thier first talk, but be stupid enough times and it wont end in a friendship.ImBigBob said:
the whole dating system is wrong. first off who figured that it must be male to start a conversation? why cant a woman do that? infact, why does woman expect that everyone should "go after her" like she was some superior being? i think all the dating procedure should get a massive overhaul. and whats with the lieing. if you want a one-night-stand and the woman wanto ne as well why not just say so, instead of pretending to care and then racing who is first out of bed in the morning.
worst thing that can happen is you do some tiny mistake in your approach and a girl you have been eyeing for 3 years (literally) and you lost her forever. i should know, been there done that.Vegosiux said:
accepted cultural norms stemming from the time where it was th emen who instigated and controlled relationships blah blah blah you know the drillStrazdas said:
[quote/]why cant a woman do that? infact, why does woman expect that everyone should "go after her" like she was some superior being?
[/quote]
because rejections sucks and if we can avoid it why not? XD...seriously though I don;t think women "expect" it per se
because rejections sucks and if we can avoid it why not? XD...seriously though I don;t think women "expect" it per se[/quote]Vault101 said:
You being a woman evade a lot of it. due to social norsm it seems to even come naturally for some. they do expect it. surely, not 100% of the woman, but the amount is large enough for generalization.
I think it depend on the person.
If the guy and girl is pretty much generic ( dont even ask me what I mean by generic because you know what I mean), then getting to know a person after they meet is ok. Odds are, they have very generic hobbies, beliefs etc so they will get along.
However, if you are like my friend who tends to be "geeky" or whatever, then you should probably meet friends with similar interests.
I personally find that because I have a wide range of interests, no particular politic and religious views, I get along with a lot of people.
That and compared to my friend, i know how to suppress certain interests in front of certain people.
So if you are like my friend, I dont see why you cant just look for people within your own group of shared hobbies and interests.
If the guy and girl is pretty much generic ( dont even ask me what I mean by generic because you know what I mean), then getting to know a person after they meet is ok. Odds are, they have very generic hobbies, beliefs etc so they will get along.
However, if you are like my friend who tends to be "geeky" or whatever, then you should probably meet friends with similar interests.
I personally find that because I have a wide range of interests, no particular politic and religious views, I get along with a lot of people.
That and compared to my friend, i know how to suppress certain interests in front of certain people.
So if you are like my friend, I dont see why you cant just look for people within your own group of shared hobbies and interests.
I've never attempted asking out a complete stranger. I've been successful with women I know and they know what they're saying yes to at the time.
I think most people miss the point of dating. They act as if asking a girl out is the same as making her your girlfriend, or blah blah blah reverse genders for our female readers.
Also, where do you all live that all the bars are dark seedy places?
In my town we have a bar for the slimy hookups, a bar for the gay/party boy demographic, one for the indie bands, one for quiet drinks. Come to think of it, my town has a whole bunch of different bars. That might explain why everyone is always so drunk... anyways
I see an attractive girl, so I ask her out. We go out on a first date at which point I get to know her to some degree. Usually by the end of the second date, I can tell if we are compatible. If we aren't, then no third date. Simple as that.
Also, this is all a good argument for casual dating. So feel free to ask a couple girls/guys out, get to know them, then make your choice. Feels more sciency this way.
Also, where do you all live that all the bars are dark seedy places?
In my town we have a bar for the slimy hookups, a bar for the gay/party boy demographic, one for the indie bands, one for quiet drinks. Come to think of it, my town has a whole bunch of different bars. That might explain why everyone is always so drunk... anyways
I see an attractive girl, so I ask her out. We go out on a first date at which point I get to know her to some degree. Usually by the end of the second date, I can tell if we are compatible. If we aren't, then no third date. Simple as that.
Also, this is all a good argument for casual dating. So feel free to ask a couple girls/guys out, get to know them, then make your choice. Feels more sciency this way.
That's not actually worse than eyeing a girl for 3 years(literally), saying nothing, then continuing to eye her for another 3 years until she hooks up with someone else. Remaining silent loses every girl forever.Strazdas said:
And really, if she's known you for 3 years, she's already made her mind up whether she likes you or not. If she rejects you after a tiny mistake, she would have rejected you even if you had made no mistakes.
I actually had this exact conversation last week about what constitutes a date. After talking to many people about it, I realized that nobody had any clue where to draw the line.Vegosiux said:
Is it intent, or a specific activity?
I'm friends with a lot of girls who say they are "just hanging out" with some guy, then they end up together.
Most of the guys I know call them dates.
And almost every single time, the two parties are not on the same page when it comes to the labeling.
The way I preceived it was the end result. If you two end up actually being together, they were dates. If not, you call them hang outs.
Personally, I call them all dates cause sex is usually involved. Makes me feel like less of a slut if I'm dating the girl, plus they seem to like it when I say we're dating. Even if it is casually.
Er... I've only ever dated people I was already friends with. I've never in my entire life started flirting with a complete stranger. They could turn out to be a total moron!
MetalMagpie's Dating Guide:
Step 1 - Get to know some new people. School, university, work, archery club, etc.
Step 2 - Realise you quite fancy one of those people.
Step 3 - Start flirting.
Step 4 - Are they flirting back? Awesome!
MetalMagpie's Dating Guide:
Step 1 - Get to know some new people. School, university, work, archery club, etc.
Step 2 - Realise you quite fancy one of those people.
Step 3 - Start flirting.
Step 4 - Are they flirting back? Awesome!