Apologize on behalf of your country

[Brawndo]

I'm a regular citizen who is totally unimportant in the grand scheme of things and has zero control over what my country does, so I don't understand why I should apologize for anything

 

[Mahha]

I apologize for America.

Cheers from UK

 

[Panda Mania]

I, PandaMania, am hereby apologizing to the entire world on behalf of my country, the United States.
I apologize for us being arrogant rich bitches.
I apologize for our blatant ignorance.
I apologize for masking our selfish aims with idealized, moral reasoning, and when confronted about our countless dick moves, attempting to trivialize or excuse them, or even outright pretend that they didn't happen.
I apologize for being the stupid, overly eager puppy of the nations of the world, jumping at the chance to get involved into other people's affairs.
Also, I apologize for our various remakes and ripoffs of foreign movies/shows/books/music/ideas. We try, but 97% of the time, the originals remain better. We know this, yet we continue to commit travesties. >.<

For all of this and more, I am truly, truly sorry.

 

[OldAccount]

I'm a regular citizen who is totally unimportant in the grand scheme of things and has zero control over what my country does, so I don't understand why I should apologize for anything

Satire - noun - the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.

 

[fett042]

As a welshman I appologies for the existance of Newport (south wales) and Merthyr Tyddfil

Both places damage the well being of the universe

 

[deonte9109]

On behalf of America, Im sorry that Jersey Shore is "popular", the blunders of both the Bush and Obama administration, and the fact that since the end of the Cold War we've been trying to skullf*** any who oppose the gov't.

 

[Moonscream]

To the 500 nations we subjugated and the countless others we just plain wiped out of existence on our way to becoming 'the land of the free'...I'm sorry.

To the mustangs and buffalo that many humans of my country think should also be erased from existence on your native land...I'm sorry. For those who don't know, horses evolved here and thus should rightly be considered 're-introduced wildlife', not 'feral'.

--Moony

 

[Shifty Tortoise]

On behalf of England, i apologise for America, honestly, it was a joke, we never knew it would go that far.

(I realise i've probably been ninja'd several times, but i'll be damned if i'm gonna read 20 pages to find out)

 

[Grahav]

On behalf of Brazil I apologize to Paraguay.

I also apologize to Italy for keeping that motherfukka free.

 

[Epailes]

Dear World,

I, Mack the Knife, apologise for nothing. My country is-and will always be-its little cesspit of problems, its carnival of drugs, football violence, backwardness and alcohol. A ramshackle nation strung together by swindling independance-wanting bastards, dole-dependant tosspots and bored stab-happy teenagers, presided over by a few honest taxpayers and the Nanny State.

But we are honest with ourselves; we know we are shit, and yet still try to do the best with what we have. We know we are the fattest, the meanest, the most pathetic, miserable, servile trash ever shat into existance. And yet we plough on, with none of England's arrogance, Irelands nationalism tripe, or the simple timidity of the Welsh.

So bring your insults and your woes. Bring your Tennants special ale, your expensive cigarettes and cheap booze. Bring your smack, your crack, your cocaine, your junk-food and no salad. Bring your perversions, your anger, your hate, your contempt for every other miserable fucking creature in this world, and love only the fast-track to early death of cancer or obesity.

Welcome to fucking Scotland; leave your sanity, your decency and your scruples at the door, and have a fucking great time.

-Mack the Knife.

...

[sub] This was all in good, if nasty, humour. I love my country. [/sub]

What this fine gentlemen said, and also sorry for the SAS being too badass xD

 

[Daveman]

On behalf of England, I apologise for actually speaking the language properly, unlike the rest of the world.

Oh, and slavery.

Well I think you'll find that Slavery was around long before we ever did it. We just made it fashionable again.

I'm from the UK so I'm sorry for all the Singing, Ice Skating and Dancing shows that have unfortunately cropped up again due to us repopularising (real word?) them. On a similar train of thought I'm incredibly sorry for Piers Morgan, please don't take it personally, he was a prank that got out of hand. But we did invent Sitcoms... so... you're welcome?

 

[Aesir23]

As a Canadian I, shewolf51, apologize for Justin Beiber, Celine Dion, Nickelback, and our robot of a Prime Minister, Stephen Harper. I also apologize for the Residential schools and concentration-type-camps-that-we-stuck-the-Japanese/Canadians-into-during-WWII-took-and-auctioned-their-stuff-and-didn't-return-it-afterwards. *deep breath*

Also, on behalf of Canada to all Canadians, sorry for selling the Hudson's Bay Company to the Americans.

Also, I apologize to America on behalf of Canada for burning down your White House that one time...Not really.

 

[FernandoV]

On behalf of Australia, I apologize for the following

-Not doing shit to anyone
-Not failing at maintaing a stable economy
-Not suffering from terrorism
-Not being arrogant and self absorbed
-Not having our own demented version of the ENGLISH language
-Not being at war with anyone
-Being so laid back that 'patriotism' doesn't include knowing any part of the national anthem
-Putting up with the rest of the world's shit
-Inventing the Bikini
-Just generally being awesome

Yep, I thnk that'll do.

Australia is basically a giant zoo that is on fire for most of the summer.

 

[DPunch4]

On behalf of Australia, I apologize for the following

-Not doing shit to anyone
-Not failing at maintaing a stable economy
-Not suffering from terrorism
-Not being arrogant and self absorbed
-Not having our own demented version of the ENGLISH language
-Not being at war with anyone
-Being so laid back that 'patriotism' doesn't include knowing any part of the national anthem
-Putting up with the rest of the world's shit
-Inventing the Bikini
-Just generally being awesome

Yep, I thnk that'll do.

On behalf of Australia I apologize for this guy.

I personally want an apology from my own country, for having so many things that can kill me in under 4 minutes, and for all the stupid people. I hate Australians.

 

[Daveman]

-Our really fucking annoying and stupid tourists

In fairness all the American Tourists I've met have been pretty enlightened and culturally sensitive. I tend to think they're the ones who made it out with their sanity intact.

On behalf of Australia, I apologize for the following

-Not doing shit to anyone
-Not failing at maintaing a stable economy
-Not suffering from terrorism
-Not being arrogant and self absorbed
-Not having our own demented version of the ENGLISH language
-Not being at war with anyone
-Being so laid back that 'patriotism' doesn't include knowing any part of the national anthem
-Putting up with the rest of the world's shit
-Inventing the Bikini
-Just generally being awesome

Yep, I thnk that'll do.

You forgot "being rubbish at Cricket".

I'm just kidding, I really don't give a shit about Cricket.

 

[Trippy Turtle]

i, trippy turtle, apologize on behalf of australia for the dropbears. it is the most dangerous thing on earth that ould possibly exist. but other then that our only mistakes are our governer general and our games prices. oh and our god damn prime minister.

 

[Jaso11111]

As a greek i apologise. For my ancestors have prod Democracy into this world and with it...
Chaos...

 

[tahrey]

On behalf of Great Britain ... I'm sorry about slavery, coldplay and their ilk, and ... erm ... skinheads? austin-rover? rick astley?

Dunno man, I think we've got off fairly lightly apart from that first one.

Oh yeah, and for ever introducing Monty Python to america before the internet came along. So much mental torment caused to others by obsessive geeks.

 

[tahrey]

Oh yes and Piers Morgan, Ricky Gervais, Simon Cowell, and all those other insufferable pricks who, on the whole, sooner or later get tired of our little island and bugger off to California or some other nice warm place that's undiserving of their twatting it all up. It's a great thing for us, but not so much yourselves.

And how could I forget Tony Blair and Maggie T? Oh dear.

 

[Mooko12]

On behalf of the U.S.A I apologize for being the most hypocritical and idiotic country in the world.