I got to the end of the first paragraph, and felt my heart break, because, while it is true, it's hard to see Scotland written about in such a way. Though we are awesome.Mackheath said:Dear World,
I, Mack the Knife, apologise for nothing. My country is-and will always be-its little cesspit of problems, its carnival of drugs, football violence, backwardness and alcohol. A ramshackle nation strung together by swindling independance-wanting bastards, dole-dependant tosspots and bored stab-happy teenagers, presided over by a few honest taxpayers and the Nanny State.
But we are honest with ourselves; we know we are shit, and yet still try to do the best with what we have. We know we are the fattest, the meanest, the most pathetic, miserable, servile trash ever shat into existance. And yet we plough on, with none of England's arrogance, Irelands nationalism tripe, or the simple timidity of the Welsh.
So bring your insults and your woes. Bring your Tennants special ale, your expensive cigarettes and cheap booze. Bring your smack, your crack, your cocaine, your junk-food and no salad. Bring your perversions, your anger, your hate, your contempt for every other miserable fucking creature in this world, and love only the fast-track to early death of cancer or obesity.
Welcome to fucking Scotland; leave your sanity, your decency and your scruples at the door, and have a fucking great time.
-Mack the Knife.
...
[sub] This was all in good, if nasty, humour. I love my country. [/sub]
He clearly forgot Alberta, there (although that is a Province, not a city). Full of hicks, but also the oil.. drum (?) of Canada. A lot of international desire over the Oil Sands, despite killing Alberta's natural environment.theSovietConnection said:Oh really? And why, may I ask, is Toronto the only globally relevant city in Canada?Kanatatsu said:Oh please. The rest of Canada should be down on their knees thanking Toronto for being the only globally relevant city in the country. And no, Montreal is not globally relevant, nor is Vancouver, or Calgary, etc.theSovietConnection said:On behalf of Canada, I apologise to the world for Toronto, and in particular to any Michigan residents here, I apologise for all the garbage Toronto sent to you.
To paraphrase a Norwegian Comedian:RaZor921 said:On behalf of Sweden, I apologize for being awesome!
Also, we rescued jews from concentration camps during the last days of WWII, but if I apologize about that people will hate me...
What? I don't think I understand what you are saying.Captain Bobbossa said:Yep, but that's the English for you.Moonpooman said:Didn't Alfred Nobel invent dynamite?3aqua said:on behalf of England I apologize for creating guns and dynamite (haven't done any good yet)
He was Swedish.
How is that not arrogant?Lord Wafflemire said:On behalf of Australia, I apologize for the following
-Not doing shit to anyone
-Not failing at maintaing a stable economy
-Not suffering from terrorism
-Not being arrogant and self absorbed
-Not having our own demented version of the ENGLISH language
-Not being at war with anyone
-Being so laid back that 'patriotism' doesn't include knowing any part of the national anthem
-Putting up with the rest of the world's shit
-Inventing the Bikini
-Just generally being awesome
Yep, I thnk that'll do.
???Lord Wafflemire said:On behalf of Australia, I apologize for the following
-Not being at war with anyone
This!Rathcoole said:On behalf of Northern Ireland I apologize to England for all the terrorists nobody really supports them. To america I am sorry for all the immigrants you are apparently ALL related too(who if hollywood is to be believed are made corrupt police officers the second they step off the plane). and to everybody else I am sorry about all the drunk tourists running around your countrys.
are you sure about that? how about borrowing tons of money and then not paying it back?RanD00M said:I on the hand of Iceland apologize for nothing. I have nothing to apologize for. I could apologize for my ancestors stealing female royalty from Ireland, but they brought the gingers with them, so it all evens out.
Ten idiots that made a mistake and are hated world wide will not be apologized for by me. Most of them were living on other countries at the time anyway.Floppertje said:are you sure about that? how about borrowing tons of money and then not paying it back?RanD00M said:I on the hand of Iceland apologize for nothing. I have nothing to apologize for. I could apologize for my ancestors stealing female royalty from Ireland, but they brought the gingers with them, so it all evens out.
Oh, I also apologize for the legions of guilty whites pouring from my country. It seems to be our stock in trade right now.thecoreyhlltt said:on behalf of USA, I thecoreyhlltt appologize (to the black man) for slavery, I appologize to the chinese immigrants forced to work for pennies a day to build our railroads. I'd also like to appologize to the native americans who's land we stole (we're more than happy paying you back a nickle at a time at the slots,) who else have we screwed over? i'd like to again appologize to the black man for martin luther king jr's assassination. and most of all, i'd like to appologize to japan, namely hiroshima and nagasaki, we really didn't need to drop those bombs... it was just a stupid pissing contest, america just wanted to "show-off" how "powerful" a country we are, and i can't say it enough but i'm truly sorry...
Also, i appologize to Afghanistan. same shit different day, Bush (for whom i could never appologize enough) wanted to show off for his pals.
and finally, i'd like to appologize on behalf the U.S.A.
for any and all injustices that are sure to come in the future.....
sorry everybody
nah, i'd say our stock in trade is crippling depression and un-employmentVryyk said:Oh, I also apologize for the legions of guilty whites pouring from my country. It seems to be our stock in trade right now.thecoreyhlltt said:on behalf of USA, I thecoreyhlltt appologize (to the black man) for slavery, I appologize to the chinese immigrants forced to work for pennies a day to build our railroads. I'd also like to appologize to the native americans who's land we stole (we're more than happy paying you back a nickle at a time at the slots,) who else have we screwed over? i'd like to again appologize to the black man for martin luther king jr's assassination. and most of all, i'd like to appologize to japan, namely hiroshima and nagasaki, we really didn't need to drop those bombs... it was just a stupid pissing contest, america just wanted to "show-off" how "powerful" a country we are, and i can't say it enough but i'm truly sorry...
Also, i appologize to Afghanistan. same shit different day, Bush (for whom i could never appologize enough) wanted to show off for his pals.
and finally, i'd like to appologize on behalf the U.S.A.
for any and all injustices that are sure to come in the future.....
sorry everybody