Are Chinese mothers superior to American mothers?

[Wondermint13]

Hmm.. Well this is a delicate matter indeed and I have recently become a dad for the first time so I feel the need to write something..

Chinese Mothers are in a league of their own, there is no doubt about it. Whether this is a league that the rest of us look up at, shake our heads dissaprovingly and say whatever it is we think is wrong with it. Or it is a league where the Chinese will look down on both the US and Europe like our kids will just never be as successful as theirs. Either way it all sounds like one big class war with opinions and beliefs both arrogant and misunderstood. There really is no way people can figure out this question on their own.

Kids deserve to be kids. And kids will make mistakes, they will get muddy, push their luck, take that last remaining muffin, fail a few tests and skip a few paino or drum lessons. It is unfair and somewhat cruel of the parent to expect and force a child to grow up too quicky. So bad Chinese Mums! Very bad!
But Isn't the point of bringing a child into this world is so that a Mother and Father can raise it and watch it succeed in a good and happy life. This is what the Chinese moms believe and they have enough to back it up. Good healthy food, a respect for their culture and tradition and the results are showing. The chinese kids are well ahead of the masses of chubby white kids wobbling around. There could -nicer- ways to achieve these impressive standards and it would be nice to know they work just as well.

All in All.. I haven't solved anything have I? Oh well. Point Made

 

[BENZOOKA]

No better then any other mother.

Exactly.

I mean... "Are Chinese mothers superior to American mothers?"

I can't even begin to take the topic seriously.

 

[thedeathscythe]

Good mothers aren't made by race, but on being good parents, that's just a simple fact. If we were to generalize, I would say North American parents are better. Being North American, I love my parents and they're super relaxed yet I feel they raised me well, and when I think about my friends parents, they're pretty much in the same boat.

 

[ICanBreakTheseCuffs]

Short answer: No.

Long answer: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

That Yahtzee Reference was pure win. +1 internetz


OP:just no

being in that family sounds like a lot of fun

 

[Cpu46]

.....
I just read that article and it describes my Chinese aunt almost perfectly. However between her constant control and my uncles crazy shenanigans to counteract the control I'm suppressed he hasn't gone completely crazy.

I am terribly sorry, but I think you mean "surprised."

ahh yes, yes I do.

 

[BonsaiK]

I don't agree with everything she said, especially not allowing your children to play computer games or join a sports team. But western parents being too hung up on their child's self-esteem makes sense to me.

The culture's just different, that's all. I had a Chinese mother who was also a schoolteacher, and a German father who grew up in Berlin in WWII (guess who was stricter), and I was a dropout who liked computer games and heavy metal so it was pretty much culture wars 24/7 when I was growing up. The arguments at home were amazing, my whole street would have heard them. I was never more afraid than at the time every three months when I'd ascend the stairs to my house clutching my report card with anything less than an A on it. When we were sick from school and stayed home, do you think we were allowed to watch TV? Mum was in our bedrooms taking our temperature and making us do spelling drills, if we wanted to watch TV that meant that we were obviously not sick, so then we'd be made to go back to school. My brother was bashed in the face with an iron bar and was in hospital for a while (yeah, rough school) and my Mum brought work into the hospital ward so he wouldn't miss out on anything. Not even official school stuff, but her own made-up exercises. Look at this post carefully. You might find some foul language but what you won't find is a spelling mistake.

Nowadays amongst other things I teach guitar, and I know for sure that a few of my Asian students are getting the parental screws tightened on them pretty damn hard, I can see it just in their eyes because I've been there too and I've had that glazed-over "I must achieve or life is not worth living" look. They're brilliant though, and I barely have to teach them at all because they do it all themselves. They're practically begging me to give them harder and harder pieces all the time. For all their technical brilliance they have shitty expression though, the concept of "feel" and emoting through the instrument doesn't really register, but then to be fair most western kids are equally shitty at that. There's no such thing as a "child prodigy" though, behind every brilliant kid is a parent with a stick.

Anyway I turned out okay, and I'm probably a lot more successful than a lot of other people because of the work ethic instilled by my parenting. The "Chinese" parenting method isn't very fucking pleasant and will make your childhood hell, but if you can survive it without topping yourself it pays serious dividends later in life when you can cruise through all sorts of tasks handed to you because you're just better at everything. It's designed to make a person able to succeed in times of hardship and it certainly does that. Also, at no point did either me or my brother think that our parents hated us or didn't care about us, no matter how intense things got. We knew that the fact they were screaming their lungs out at us was proof that they in fact did care.

I sure learned no fucking social skills though, I had to pick all of that stuff up myself later as an adult. Thanks for nothing, Chinese parenting...

 

[Sewblon]

Also, just a point here: The Chinese haven't made any real revolutionary technological progress since the 15th century. The Scottish were one of the most successful developers of industrial-era technology, while Europe and the United States have both contributed far more to the world of science than China has in the last five hundred years.

I think that that is because China's rigid political structure stifles innovation. I mean democratic Athens produced great philosophers while oligarchic Sparta only produced great warriors.

 

[Pandaman1911]

You can't really just combine "Chinese mothers" and "American mothers" and apply attributes to both groups. I've met some pretty horrible mothers, horrible in many different definitions of the word, and I have also met some very amazing mothers. I'm sure it's the same situation in China, or any other country, really. The website did have some... interesting... points, but... I don't know. Parenthood just seems like one of those things that you can't really write a book on or apply blanket black and white terms to. There are really no "wrong" ways to do it. (Well okay, sure, you could feed your kid paint thinner or something, but... you know what I mean.)

 

[Sinclair Solutions]

From what I've seen, Jeffrey Dahmer would be a better mother than most american mothers

You want to explain that a little more?

 

[tikalal]

That article came across to me as a really good troll. It's not a credible article is it?

The woman sounds like a deranged, child abusing moron. One or two of her ideas are interesting and thought-provoking but it stops there.

 

[viranimus]

Well Unfortunately, given that the bulk of the responses are saying No, I have to play devils advocate in some respect.

Honestly both groups could learn something from each other. Western parents absolutely need to learn about how vital discipline is in raising children. "Chinese" parents need to let their children show their own talents and not forcefully cram them down a very narrow linear path.

But I think in regards to actual needs, Western children are in infinitely more need of discipline than Chinese children are in need of adaptability. We see more stupid problems every year that stem from lack of proper discipline with children. We raise kids with such a sense of entitlement that we are starting to see just how ill equipped they are to inherent the world. I know in my day and age had I been 10 years old and called my mother a fucking ***** I would still be beaten for it 25 years later, whereas Ive seen entirely too many kids of people my age, who will let their children get by with just that, or give them a slight slap on the wrist that basically does nothing but illustrates the consequences for doing something like that are inconsequential at best.

I say this as a child who did come out of what would be classified as a abusive home, and Every day I thank god for that type of upbringing, because it taught me proper respect, and discipline. I shudder to think about the lazy self serving prick I would have become had those boundries not been illustrated so clearly.

Honestly.. I would gladly be taught lessons physically, than to grow up and raise a kid like this

Spoiler

Or


or


or


Or honestly about 1/10th of the total sum of Youtubes videos

So if nothing else, thats at least one BIG point in favor of Chinese mothers.

 

[Dimensional Vortex]

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704111504576059713528698754.html?KEYWORDS=china+parents I don't agree with everything she said, especially not allowing your children to play computer games or join a sports team. But western parents being too hung up on their child's self-esteem makes sense to me.

One thing wrong with this entire post title. You are basically comparing an entire country's mothers to an entire other country's, this will be extremely ignorant if someone says one country's mothers are superior.

 

[Mrkittycat]

I like a social life, and the only asians I know who can go out with friends have extremely loose parents, who only do well because they want to. The ones with those kinds of parents are shut ins.

 

[chif-ii]

Quantity, they definitely have us beat. Quality, well...

Not to offend any Jews or Germans, but she sounds like Hitler. Glad I'm not Chinese.

 

[RamirezDoEverything]

Hell no. Social Skills and readiness for life's challenges(w/o protection of mother)=none

 

[tikalal]

Look at this post carefully. You might find some foul language but what you won't find is a spelling mistake.

Mum was in our bedrooms taking us temperature

(Not trying to take away from your actual point, I just thought that was pretty funny!)

 

[Freechoice]

Also, just a point here: The Chinese haven't made any real revolutionary technological progress since the 15th century. The Scottish were one of the most successful developers of industrial-era technology, while Europe and the United States have both contributed far more to the world of science than China has in the last five hundred years.

Thank you, good sir. She would not be talking if she was living in China. I find it interesting that the racist/elitist Yale Professor can only speak because she is treated fairly by westerners, listened to by westerners and given accolades by western institutions. To reiterate, this shit would not be happening in China.

Let's all just stop this and read the hundreds of comments saying what an idiot she is on the site.

 

[JWAN]

China is known for its wonderful human rights records anyway... (SARCASM)

no, it makes little difference.

 

[BonsaiK]

Look at this post carefully. You might find some foul language but what you won't find is a spelling mistake.

Mum was in our bedrooms taking us temperature

(Not trying to take away from your actual point, I just thought that was pretty funny!)

Hey, "us" is a word. Anyway, I fixed it so I didn't get a beating, now piss off, Mum.