Are humans meant to be monogamous creatures?

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NinjaDeathSlap

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Radoh said:
As I understand it, it is a man's genetic prerogative to get as many women pregnant as possible, while it is a woman's prerogative to stay with one man throughout their life. Take that as you will.
I don't think the aim is specifically to get AS MANY women as possible pregnant, just to have as many children as possible, and a stable, long term monogamous relationship is actually the best environment to produce lots of children and make sure as many of them as possible survive.
 

GunboatDiplomat

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Mar 23, 2009
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Well it seems to be the cultural fashion at the moment. Clearly its not biologically determined - everyone will have multiple partners during their life and during other relationships if they can overcome their social conditioning. Which most people do at some point although cultural contructs like religion often create guilt.

TOP TIP 1: Don't get into this conversation on a date - EVER!

TOP TIP 2: If your date brings it up follow their lead. Assume the default position of believng in "long term" relationships but don't be too empahatic about it in case shes not THAT into you and is just looking for a bit of fun.

TOP TIP 3: Plenty of time to argue about this when the six month to one year "being in love" period has worn off, your genes have figured out theres no kids on the way for some reason (haha, evil Dr. Gene, Meet Captain Contraception!) and are pushing you both to move one. Although you can't because of cultural pressures you both have completely unrealistic expectations of what being monogamous means for most people without kids to distract you - sexual boredom. (With kids you mostly won't have time for sex so problem solved - yay!)
 

Saelune

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Dunno if we are or are not meant to. Though I think the primary reason relationships dont last...is natural. That is, too often they are built on physical attraction and when that fades, the shallowness is revealed. This is why I cant imagine myself with someone for the long run who isnt a gamer.
 

loodmoney

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xxmyhero64xx said:
Ever since I heard word of my aunt and uncle getting divorced (two people who have been together since I can remember) I started wondering if human beings are really meant to stay with one other person till death.
As someone mentioned above "meant" does not have application here. It implies a moral imperative to do something, and a "biological imperative" can never function as this.
[...] It makes me wonder considering the physical goal of male humans is to spread the genetic seed as much as possible, does it do our species any good to just stay with one partner till death?
I thought the goal of this male human was to write interesting things and learn about the world. As for physical goals? I'm not sure this male human has any. Well I don't like being hungry, I enjoy sleeping, and sex is fun, but I've never really given much thought to my genetic seed, so I don't know if I'd count its spread as one of my physical goals.

And who cares about the species? I care about myself and other individuals, so I think my and their interests count for more than that of the species.
 

b3nn3tt

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NinjaDeathSlap said:
Radoh said:
As I understand it, it is a man's genetic prerogative to get as many women pregnant as possible, while it is a woman's prerogative to stay with one man throughout their life. Take that as you will.
I don't think the aim is specifically to get AS MANY women as possible pregnant, just to have as many children as possible, and a stable, long term monogamous relationship is actually the best environment to produce lots of children and make sure as many of them as possible survive.
True. Also, evolutionary theory has argued that women actually chose a mate who could provide the best resources, but would allow another man, who had better genes, to impregnate them.

OT: I think that we are past the point where we are driven by a need for survival, so we aren't meant to do anything with regards to partners. Some people find a partner at seventenn and spend their life with them, others will have hundreds of partners in their life. Really, it all comes down to the individual, rather than humans as a species.
 

SinisterGehe

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Biologically no... Culturally yes in Christian culture at least.
Base for biological claim is that monogamy is a bad thing. Monogamous species have been proven to be more prone to diseases and genetic errors. Human specie has survived this far and achieved great things, why? Because we ear, breed and kill our rivals. The fact that we would been programmed to be monogamous is odd also since in the history it has been a norm to man have many wifes - but when Christianity landed on Europe it got bad all the sudden?

Human is driven by need to breed.
And I am an genetic error on that regard.
 

Togs

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Meh its been shown that when societal conventions are removed humans tend towards polyamory, what form this takes depends on the male to female ratio.
 

blizard0am0i

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Meant to be by forces of.... nature? God? The Universe?

Either way I think the answer is at least a supported yes. While there have been numerous polygamous cultures over the course of history the vast majority of human development has been generated from societies that at the least support the idea of monogamy.

Does that mean that's how its meant to be? Dunno, but it seems to me that the evidence indicates that's how it works best.
 

Togs

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Dulcinea said:
xxmyhero64xx said:
Considering the physical goal of male humans is to spread the genetic seed as much as possible,
You say that as fact. I wasn't aware the meaning of life had been determined.
Then go look at a biology, anthropology or psychology textbook, lifes sole purpose is propagation.
 

Merkavar

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i think were a bit beyond what we are meant to be naturally. we are what we want to be, not what nature wants us to be.
 

Togs

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Dulcinea said:
But I can disprove you in an instant - there are many, many, many people who have no urge to procreate.

You're mixing up 'the majority of people have a certain drive,' with the purpose of life.
Err..... no you cant.
In this instance life is not defined at the individual level, any species will instinctively try and control its population depending on the availability of resources, if every human being born had children our population would grow so rapidly that the earth's resources would be exhausted at a rate much faster than they currently are.
This is the reasoning behind incidences of diseases like post partum depression, it has been linked to mothers who exist in a low resource environment- it acts to counter the natural maternal instinct.

aka macroevolution 101.

EDIT= and no Im not mistaking anything- this is information gleamed from countless years of biological research by people your infinite intellectual superior, Im not making it up for arguements sake but relaying the information that Ive spent the last 3 years having to learn.
 

Damura

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liquidangry said:
Monogamy is born out of the natural desire to ensure your genetic code is passed on as opposed to anothers. It isn't some random nonsensical societal or religious crap. EVERYTHING in human society is based on some sort of biological need or reaction whether we admit it or not.

In short, the answer is yes AND no. We're made to want to spread our seed far and wide, but make sure others aren't plowing our fields... if you catch my drift. Placing legal claim on someone or societal stigmas/relgious rules is just facilitating that. We're apes, plain and simple.
So how do you explain cultures where polygamy is the norm?
 

Xenetethrae

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monstersquad said:
It doesnt do us any good genetically, but we're far past that. If you look at other apes( we are apes, no use denying it), they're generally polygamous, and with chimps especially, there's a healthy amount of incest thrown in there as well. This is fine for their society, but it obviously wouldn't work in ours.
Couldn't just leave this sitting there. But there is very little incest in chimp communities because most chimps have an inherent sexual aversion towards known kin. What with natural selection not favoring the possible (and probable) faux pas of performing incest and having a baby with some crippling or fatal recessive gene.

More on topic: I like the evidence the testicle guy brought up earlier.

Monogomy is simply a sexual strategy which may or may not provide for the best chances at reproductive success. In general, modern Homo sapien sexual social norms are the constructs of hundreds of thousands of years of selective pressures on long-term high-investment sexual strategies. Humans are incredibly complex and require a great deal more development time (in this case, time until sexual maturation) than most other organisms. As such, both males and females are more likely to successfully raise a child to adulthood if they invest their time and resources on raising that one child rather than go off and try to make as many babies as possible.

Obviously this is a simplistic and stylized view of sexual strategies and the issue is not this clearly black and white. But as for shades of gray, humans are far more monogamous than polygamous (at least we usually have one partner at a time, not neccessarily for our entire lives).

But who is to say what is "wrong" and what is "right"? Just because something was a successful sexual strategy for our ancestors doesn't mean we have to look at the issue with such detachment. As the average human lifespan increases more and more, perhaps the idea of feeling perennial love for only one significant other will fade with time.

I for one, feel that love is fundamentally rooted in trust and interdependency. In a polygamist society, the lack of a single person who completely knows and understands your very core being, who is your link to understanding youself, a firm tether tying you to reality and your responsibilities, your one and only, would make everything so meaningless. With multiple emotional bonds (or perhaps none) the entire experience of love is dulled. After all, what can one person mean to you when there are so many others?

Note: on a technical standpoint, monogamous just means one partner at a time, not one your whole life or 'till death do you part.
 

starslasher

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Coming personally, I get confused about this. While I try to think that i'll be exclusive with my girlfriend, i can't help but envisage about having relationships with other women. That seems to be the way that i'm wired, but i'm trying to fight against that.
 

Terminal Blue

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liquidangry said:
Monogamy is born out of the natural desire to ensure your genetic code is passed on as opposed to anothers. It isn't some random nonsensical societal or religious crap. EVERYTHING in human society is based on some sort of biological need or reaction whether we admit it or not.
Do you have any evidence for that?

And does that mean we're a different species from, say, people in Papua New Guinea whose cultural practices are very different?

I see this argument far too often nowadays, and it's incredibly lazy. How would you possibly know that? Are you a unique cultureless human being capable of utterly disentangling yourself from social pressures in order to experience your underlying biological urges? If so, how did you learn English and where did you get a computer?

The fact is that we have no idea of the extent to which human behaviours are influenced by biological need. There is no hard evidence. Anyone telling you there is is either using incredibly bad science or outright making it up.
 

Lexodus

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No, and frankly I can't stand the idea of being with one person for that long.