Are teengers really that dense?

[Carlos Grigg]

hey I'm 15, and I'm offended, were not all stupid, just the 99%. I'm pretty smart.

You are being satirical, right?

about the 99% yes, but I am 15, and kinda smart, I've already got three GCSE's and I've not even started my final year at secondary. but as someone who has been bullied I can't justify suicide as an option, the people that kill them self are ether bullied on some kind of massive scale, eg. institutionally, or gay in a society that operates in a very homophobic manner. or just a coward. in my view.

 

[Jon Solmundson]

I would suggest two points, which I'm sure have already been covered.

1) The abuse that takes place in cases of 'cyber-bullying' is not restricted to the 'cyber' end. That's just the angle that the media takes because it motivates more clicks/ sells more at the news stand. It's far more newsworthy than normal bullying, because it gives people a cause to latch onto (rather than just 'what a surprise, kids are mean to each other') and many consumers are already afraid of the internet. Just take a look at any news story about 'hackers' - or the existence of anti-virus software.

2) As a suitably 'dense teenager' I reject the assertion that it is possible to function in full social capacity without the use of social networking - at least for my particular demographic. To do so would be akin to operating a business without a mobile phone. It is possible, and indeed some crazy people engage in such behaviour - but it is a sort of passive aggressive "screw you" to society. That is, to partake in a modern young-adult community to the full extent mandates the use of social networks. 'cyber-bullying' arguably accomplishes its goal by removing people from the network as much as it does continually insulting them. Either way they are ostracised.

 

[SL33TBL1ND]

19 here and not super dense. Most of the kids that get depressed etc. over these sorts of things have constantly been the target of bullies for years, online and off.

Yes, they should just delete the account and move on, but if they're in a state where they are considering, or carrying out, suicide, they're clearly not in the best frame of mind right now, are they?

 

[MeChaNiZ3D]

I don't know what a teenger is, but I agree, if you can believe the news, some people have no idea how either block functions or electrical devices work. But I think it's probably often not just the online stuff.

 

[FieryTrainwreck]

Besides this isn't something you can easily escape. True you could just not visit the websites in question, but the knowledge you were being bullied will stay with you, and this isn't "traditional" bullying. Social networks are everywhere. There was a time when you could escape bullies by simply going home, but that's not an option any more. Wherever the internet is, there they are, and for many teenagers, the internet is with them everywhere they go.

This is a huge, huge difference between old-school bullying and new-school bullying. It's just so much more pervasive and permanent now, and I think that's the major reason why some kids are being pushed over the edge. Back in the day, you'd maybe absorb some bullying at school and then go home to a loving, caring environment where you could recharge your batteries and steel yourself against tomorrow. Now, you and everyone you know is glued to their computer or phone 24/7, obsessively facebooking or using other social media to remain in a constant state of peer awareness. If you don't do the same, you're in danger of becoming a social pariah. This means no "breaks" from the abuse. Plus the internet is like crowd-sourced harassment; everything is funneled and whittled down to the most brutally effective and impacting insults. You can't even rely on your bullies being uncreative anymore.

And as a final note, teaching teenagers to "ignore" bullying is what we've been doing for decades. I left school 12 years ago, and I was told to "just ignore them", as a result I had to leave school, forego my education and it has taken me until now to get my life back on track. If we keep teaching kids to ignore the bullies, the bullies are going to keep getting away with it. Kids should be able to be safe in their homes, but cyber-bullying is destroying that idea for many of them.

Agree so hard. Parents, teachers, and adults in general need to recognize how very different bullying is today and take special steps to stamp it out. If I ever have a child, you'd better believe I'm talking to that kid about social media and encouraging him/her to always stay positive, never contribute to abuse, and to come to me with any concerns.

I'm also keeping all computers and cell phones in common areas of the house.

 

[Sectan]

From what I heard she wrote in her suicide note that she did it so her bullies would feel bad. I guess I just don't know enough about the situation to give an informed opinion.

 

[Keiichi Morisato]

Well, here in the U.K cyber bullying seems to be a big issue at the moment, after some teenagers have killed themselves over abusive comments and messages, with ask.fm being at the centre of the storm.
Now while this is a horrible tragedy for the families involved. My question is when did teenagers became so dense? Are they not aware that they do not have to visit these social networking sites? If they were really so upset at receiving such distasteful messages off anonymous people couldn't they just switched off and watched funny cat videos instead?

Are some teenagers really that socially backwards that they rely on social networking sites these days?

well a big part of it is that the people who are cyber bullying are bullying the same person at school or in their neighborhood, so even if they stay off the social networking sites, they will still be bullied, and the outcome would be the same. this is coming from a victim of such crime, there is always more to it than simple cyber bullying, hell if it was JUST on some sort of social network site it wouldn't have the same impact. how do i explain this... it's like you can't get away from the bully when you are away, they bully you at school, they go home, and bully you on the internet, it feels like you are trapped, kinda like they are stalking you simply to make you miserable. most likely the people who you see on the news were bullied outside of the internet, just the school and the parents of the bully doesn't want to take the heat for not disciplining their children, so they blame the internet and social media.

 

[Lilani]

Well, here in the U.K cyber bullying seems to be a big issue at the moment, after some teenagers have killed themselves over abusive comments and messages, with ask.fm being at the centre of the storm.
Now while this is a horrible tragedy for the families involved. My question is when did teenagers became so dense? Are they not aware that they do not have to visit these social networking sites? If they were really so upset at receiving such distasteful messages off anonymous people couldn't they just switched off and watched funny cat videos instead?

Are some teenagers really that socially backwards that they rely on social networking sites these days?

Cyber-bullying doesn't just take the form of "kid has Facebook page, other kids hop on that page and message/bully them." It can also be the bullies making a page for him, like "Billy Jones is a giant ******," and then using it to communicate with other kids in the school. So no, it isn't something they can always prevent. Cyber-bullying is an extension of bullying, that gives the bullies even more power to communicate, which unfortunately is exactly what bullying is. Communication. A very horrible form of communication.

 

[Ishal]

What amazes me is the utter lack of empathy from so many. Especially since this is a site where people go from "that doesn't bother me so I don't see the point" to screaming "NERD BLACKFACE" At The Big Bang Theory.

I think there is some strange belief out there where if you lack empathy it means you are a stronger better person. It's kind of disgusting. I mean, I'm sure you're aware of the bully threads that crop up every once in a while where people come in telling people to "nut up" and "deal with it". No empathy at all. It's that view of extreme individualism, "not my problem, its theirs, so they should deal with it."

One of the reasons I dislike tough love so much is not only due to the utter lack of empathy, but because there is rarely any love involved. It's just another thinly cloaked way of being an asshole.

 

[Waaghpowa]

I don't understand why people are so drawn to social networking in general. If you're friends with someone far away because of moving, jobs, different countries etc then I can see a reasonable excuse to use them. For people you know locally, I always get the impression that these people are socially stunted. If I want to talk to someone, I send them a text saying "Hey, got a minute?". Then I either go see them or call them.

How every time a discussion about social networks start someone appears who seems to be boggled by the idea that people use the fastest and easiest way to organise their social life...

Why do I use Facebook: I have unlimited Internet, I don't have unlimited funds for bus or gas to take the 15 (by car) or 40 (by bus) minute ride to a friend just so I can chat with them a bit, and don't get me started with the time wasted just to have some chitchat. I don't have unlimited telephone: I usually keep it for important stuff like doctors. Sending someone a text or calling them is literally the same as writing a PM on FB. And I don't even start to mention how easy it got to organise meetings of 5+ people. Just open an event, invite the bastards and they have only to klick on one button to tell me how many people I should expect.

There are tons of uses for social media even for local friends.

I did say it's understandable if there's a significant enough distance between people. In the context of where I live, I live in a small town where everything is within walking distance, yet people still use it. I could walk down the street to the homes of quite a few of the people I know.

I have yet to see a benefit of using social networking such as Facebook when the same could be accomplished with with an instant messenger. I'm not 100% familiar with the privacy functions of facebook, but I know with instant messengers you can't get anything from anyone until you've accepted their contact invite.

Based on my experience, facebook is nothing more than a large ad/marketing site under the guise of a social hub. And since this thread is about Cyberbullying, apparently facebook is a place for teens to act like cunts to each other to see who commits suicide first.

 

[Mr F.]

Well, here in the U.K cyber bullying seems to be a big issue at the moment, after some teenagers have killed themselves over abusive comments and messages, with ask.fm being at the centre of the storm.
Now while this is a horrible tragedy for the families involved. My question is when did teenagers became so dense? Are they not aware that they do not have to visit these social networking sites? If they were really so upset at receiving such distasteful messages off anonymous people couldn't they just switched off and watched funny cat videos instead?

Are some teenagers really that socially backwards that they rely on social networking sites these days?

Do you have any idea how horrible it can be to be bullied? Properly, viciously bullied? Utterly powerless, shoved up against a wall as people hit you, punch you, threaten you. To be told that they will hurt you, to know day in, day out, that you cannot escape. Imagine that, just imagine being totally and utterly powerless.

Then, in your vulnerable state, you go online. You to to try solice, you try to find a kind word and the verbal equivalent of a hug as you attempt to deal with things. And then it starts again, it doesn't stop. You cannot escape. The place you turned to didn't help. Your family isn't helping, because they do not see the issue. Your school is not helping, because they do not see the issue.

They pursue you to facebook, you delete your account. You get bullied for that. You try somewhere else online, they find you, they follow you.

Everywhere you turn the hate chases you along.

Its not about online bullying. Its about the eventual straw that breaks the camels back.

It is not about stupidity.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to take your own life? How many defenses your body puts up? How difficult it is to take a razor to your wrists, to kick a chair from beneath your feet? It is not something people take lightly. It is sad, every death is a tragedy, and insulting those who do die, those who take their lives, because you cannot understand them is utterly pathetic.

 

[happyninja42]

My question is when did teenagers became so dense?

They didn't. They've always been like this, it's only now that we all get to hear about it via the same social networking that has caused them to be bullied. Teenagers aren't terribly mentally stable by definition, they're still developing their neural pathways, coupled with raging hormones at the same time. It can cause a lot of truly insane behaviour. When I think back on some of the choices I made as a teenager, that at the time seemed rational, and in hindsight were insane, I have a lot more patience with kids for being dumb and making some truly stupid decisions.

Are they not aware that they do not have to visit these social networking sites?

Then they wouldn't be able to connect with their friends who also use the sites. That's like telling a kid who doesn't like one person at the local coffee shop, to not go there at all. It's a fairly severe level of social amputation for them, and it would leave them feeling even further isolated.

If they were really so upset at receiving such distasteful messages off anonymous people couldn't they just switched off and watched funny cat videos instead?

A lot of times, it seems that the mistake (if you even want to call it that) of the teenager, is then capitalized on by others, forcing a form of shame and stigmata on them. As if saying "if they were actually good and decent people, it woulnd't have happened to them in the first place". This shame further aggravates their embarrasment and isolation, now adding onto it open mockery and ridicule over the actions that someone else did to them. It's basically blaming the victim for being a victim, which sadly, can have harmful effects.

Are some teenagers really that socially backwards that they rely on social networking sites these days?

Wow, that's a fairly insulting comment there. You were doing fine up until that point, where you basically called teenagers backwards retards because they are utilizing a bit of commonplace technology. Just because they use a social network, doesn't mean they are social inept. I've known some socially inept people, and they don't network...like at all. You're using a social network site right now to post this comment about people being socially backwards for using social networking sites. Does that mean YOU are socially backwards? Grow up sir, that last bit was uncalled for.

 

[HalfTangible]

Well, here in the U.K cyber bullying seems to be a big issue at the moment, after some teenagers have killed themselves over abusive comments and messages, with ask.fm being at the centre of the storm.
Now while this is a horrible tragedy for the families involved. My question is when did teenagers became so dense? Are they not aware that they do not have to visit these social networking sites? If they were really so upset at receiving such distasteful messages off anonymous people couldn't they just switched off and watched funny cat videos instead?

Are some teenagers really that socially backwards that they rely on social networking sites these days?

I was bullied a lot in middle school (and I'm ashamed to say I did some of my own), so let me say this: It's not like these people are only getting bullied online. By the time you've reached the stage where social networking comments are genuinely awful enough for you to even consider committing suicide, you were already out of social options that didn't hurt you. Cat videos are funny but they don't last long, nor does the cheer from them.

Moreover, hitting 'ignore' after reading a hateful comment just means you hit the button too late. The damage is done, all you've done is forced the person to make a new account to try again.

 

[Something Amyss]

Expecting anyone to associate themselves with The Big Bang Theory for any amount of time should be a crime on-par with actual bullying.

I hope that was a joke, but after months of hearing "NERD BLACKFACE" cried in all seriousness, I fear it's not.

As such, I'm not sure how to respond. "Good joke" seems dickish if you're one of the people who takes it so seriously, but a serious response seems equally likely to provoke a response of "settle down, it's just a joke."

 

[A Weakgeek]

Seeing as the other suicide thread was closed, I'll post this here.

I will always, ALWAYS respect a person who lives through a lifetime of hardships (no matter how severe) than one who turns to suicide. I'm not as extreme as to call it "the easy way out", however, getting over the fear of death is nothing compared to living through your hardships. It wouldn't be thought of as a solution otherwise.

But then again, just as Im not validated to talk about racism/sexism issues because Im a white male, Im probably not validated to talk about depression because of living in relative comfort (despite of bullying) and apparently with good brain chemistry.

 

[Hazy]

Expecting anyone to associate themselves with The Big Bang Theory for any amount of time should be a crime on-par with actual bullying.

I hope that was a joke, but after months of hearing "NERD BLACKFACE" cried in all seriousness, I fear it's not.

As such, I'm not sure how to respond. "Good joke" seems dickish if you're one of the people who takes it so seriously, but a serious response seems equally likely to provoke a response of "settle down, it's just a joke."

Nah, it was a joke, no worries.

 

[Mau95]

Like others have said, there was almost certainly other circumstances aside from the cyber bullying. However, the block and ignore features exist for a reason. Why not use them in order to shut out the bullies in question, and then continue to enjoy using the site(s)? That's what I don't understand. If someone is bullying you in the real world you don't go out of your way t be around them, do you? So why continue to allow these people access to your online profiles? Isn't that, you know, common sense?

It's anonymous so I'm not sure if you can just block people. A simpler way to get rid of cyberbullying would be, you know, to stop visiting the site youre being bullied on.

 

[purplecactus]

It's anonymous so I'm not sure if you can just block people. A simpler way to get rid of cyberbullying would be, you know, to stop visiting the site youre being bullied on.

Apparently there's a way to disallow anonymous postings (which I think is standard across most social networking things), but you're right. When it comes down to it, if the site is more trouble then it's worth, just stop visiting it.