Ah, I apologize. I read "the hot chick is a lesbian" and went in a completely different direction than what you were asking...my badFrostyChick said:
With that cleared up, yes I would prefer to know right away, definitely easier that way.
Are you a "nice guy"?
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With that cleared up, yes I would prefer to know right away, definitely easier that way.
I always was the "nice guy". I feel for you enormously.Glass Joe the Champ said:
At one point I decided to fuck it all up and done some horrible things to people I liked. Now they sort of hate me for it. Yay for breaking the mold?
Listen, cherish this "nice" thing you have. Because it will pay off in an epic manner one day. Some way or another.
Yeah, I am a nice guy "in person", on these forums though I am more of what yahtzee considers a ponce.
By the description of 'nice guy' I think i fall in pretty well.
I've been described by quite a few people that I'm overly polite, to the stage of kind of social akwardness (with peoples I don't know that well)
Then again, there is this crazy fiancé I have who I've been going out with since I was 16.. She thinks I'm a nice guy, thinks I'm silly, socially akward, and that I frequently resemble a lost puppy.
If I can get a fiancé with just being a 'nice guy' I see nothing wrong with that
I've been described by quite a few people that I'm overly polite, to the stage of kind of social akwardness (with peoples I don't know that well)
Then again, there is this crazy fiancé I have who I've been going out with since I was 16.. She thinks I'm a nice guy, thinks I'm silly, socially akward, and that I frequently resemble a lost puppy.
If I can get a fiancé with just being a 'nice guy' I see nothing wrong with that
I would call myself nice but not the kind of nice that I do everything hand and foot for a woman. I'm not that spineless. I can be assertive as well if the situation calls for it.
However, my lack of experience with women has led to an incline in frustration, as the only women who have given me compliments are mothers and grandmothers, which is pretty much a given, regardless of who it is.
Also, everyone's stupid advice on how to be attractive/confident really doesn't help or explain anything. Just a bunch of restated cliches and such.
However, my lack of experience with women has led to an incline in frustration, as the only women who have given me compliments are mothers and grandmothers, which is pretty much a given, regardless of who it is.
Also, everyone's stupid advice on how to be attractive/confident really doesn't help or explain anything. Just a bunch of restated cliches and such.
I'm an asshole but i'm also overly friendly and joke around alot. Most people seem to like me, doesn't matter if they're male, female, young, old etc. You simply have to balance your character properly for each individual/situation.
Dude, you sound like me... being that it's your post I'll keep my story short.Glass Joe the Champ said:
I'm not bad looking, I'm physically fit, I'm musically talented, I'm really smart, I'm a great cook, I have a job (about $850/month if I work full-time, but sadly I'm NICE person...
out of the 28 girls I've asked out
every one is the same story
1) "You're a great guy and you're just so amazing; any girl would be lucky to have you"
2) "...but we're JUST friends, okay?"
3) they later ask me to meet their new boyfriend, who is always the same
can barely play guitar but carries one with him everywhere
can barely skateboard but talks big about it
has no job
spends all free time smoking pot
is abusive (verbally and/or physically)
all that being said, and reading other posts
this may be a dick move but LADIES! if you don't want us to assume you ALWAYS go for the jerk over the nice guy
THEN ACTUALLY TAKE THE NICE GUYS FOR ONCE!
(also I can't tell you how many girls have asked me to come over to their houses to hang out only to tell me their computers broken and they can't afford an $80 repair fee so they ask me...)
I was a "nice guy" for a long time, until my situation wound down to its logical conclusion. I'm still nice to my friends and anyone who is nice to me, but I'm aloof and indifferent around strangers and I seek to destroy anyone who tries to walk on me.
Eventually nice people have to deal with the harshness of human society, or it will destroy them. This includes socially. It's rather unfortunate, in my eyes.
Eventually nice people have to deal with the harshness of human society, or it will destroy them. This includes socially. It's rather unfortunate, in my eyes.
Just curious, how old are you? Oh and if you find out they only invited you over to fix their computer tell them no, you won't fix it right now, if they want you to fix it then they can pick a time for you to come over and and do specifically thatWOPR said:
Yeah, got that line too. Solution? We'll I've just as well stopped playing the feild. Got sick of being turned down so often (not all the time, my previous relationship went 2 years), got sick of being turned down the exact same way every time. Fuck it, I rather spend my energy trying to do something productive with my life then wasting it constantly torturing myself.
Though that two year relationship I mentioned? I just got out of it, so this is the words of a man relishing in his freedom again. Ask me again in a few months, eh I may be more lonely.
I think the bigger question is, what kind of nice guy are you? To reference a GREAT movie on this topic, look at Megamind. Are you like Megamind, a little odd but deep down generally a sweet person with hobbies and unique interests and a desire to better yourself? Or are you like Hal, a loser with no hobbies or unique interests, a ticking timebomb filled with rage?
on an off topic note, Hal Stewart is totally one of the greatest villians in cinema of all time.
Though that two year relationship I mentioned? I just got out of it, so this is the words of a man relishing in his freedom again. Ask me again in a few months, eh I may be more lonely.
I think the bigger question is, what kind of nice guy are you? To reference a GREAT movie on this topic, look at Megamind. Are you like Megamind, a little odd but deep down generally a sweet person with hobbies and unique interests and a desire to better yourself? Or are you like Hal, a loser with no hobbies or unique interests, a ticking timebomb filled with rage?
on an off topic note, Hal Stewart is totally one of the greatest villians in cinema of all time.
Ya know, not for nothing, but I tend to think it would really help it go away if ladies stopped turning down guys with "You're a nice/cool/whatever guy but..." line. Just sayin'EverythingIncredible said:
Stop doing that. That is your problem and nothing else - girls DO like nice guys, however 99% of the time when you end up as a friend, thats where you stay.Glass Joe the Champ said:
Get to know them a LITTLE bit, enough to figure you might like them - I say might, because you can't wait the months and months to be 100% certain cause by that point you'll likely have missed your shot. Then ask them out for a coffee or something, progress to dinner/movie/whatever.
Yeah after my last relationship ended (about a year and a half) I relished my freedom for a couple months then I saw how happy my friends were in relationships and am, again, lonely.SaneAmongInsane said:
Although I do know that I will find someone sooner or later so I don't let it bother me.
I am your fairly typical "nice guy" but I stopped worrying about it. It's who I am and if someone else has a problem with that then I wish them well and let them go on their way. There are enough people who actually appreciate my niceness that it's not worth my time trying to please others who aren't interested.
I think I'm too stubborn to be the nice guy... I don't see myself as a jerk though.
.. I just have my ways, and I stick to them..
I tend not to let a woman know I'm actually interested in her until I know she's interested in me... Otherwise she might think she's better than me.
.. And I'll be damned if I'll allow her to think that crap.
.. I just have my ways, and I stick to them..
I tend not to let a woman know I'm actually interested in her until I know she's interested in me... Otherwise she might think she's better than me.
.. And I'll be damned if I'll allow her to think that crap.
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I would say I'm a nice guy, but not a "nice guy", if you know what I mean. I'm fairly quiet and I'm usually polite but I'll always stand up for my opinion and I don't follow women around like a love-sick puppy either.
While I tend to be very cynical, it's always about select subjects. Basically, anything I find utterly stupid. (A great many things) Other than that, if I like you, I'll be your nicest friend (casual teasing aside).anthony87 said:
OT: I'm a nice guy and even I'm getting pissed off by people going on about this. Don't try to be a dick just to get girls. The OP is probably falling back on old habits because he knows it's stuipid. Just try to be more charismatic. That's what people like. If you try to be a dick while still being quiet and mild mannered, people will just see you as this bitter soul sucking presence and avoid you like the plague. So it's obviously not the jerk side of things that improves stuff, it's the outgoingness.
At this point, sir, I honestly can't see wanting to get back in a relationship that was in anyway similar to what I had before. Theres something really great about having control of your life again and not having to answer to anyone or be responsible for anyone but yourself.artanis_neravar said:
Your friends should of been just as happy before they went into their respective relationships.
Reply wasn't really directed at you personallyGlass Joe the Champ said:
, but at the archetypal nice guy.Again, next thing also directed at the archetypical "nice guy". Nobody is totally archetypical so you can probably ignore some/most of it. It's also slightly exaggerated but I hope you get the main point.
The problem with being consistently nice is that things that can't be lost have no value. If you're always nice and always there then who cares about that? No matter what she does you'll still be there. And because you're always there she doesn't even feel like you're with her because of her. She could act like a totally different person and you'd still be there. You treat everyone else in the same nice way.
My advice, to the archetypical "nice guy", would be to get a different behaviour for girls you're romantically interested in. Doesn't have to be 'casanova', doesn't have to be a jerk. It just has to be something that's special and you're comfortable with (ps. clingy = not good). Because if you're romantically interested in a girl she deserves to be treated special.
And if you treat her special from the start she should notice something and either start treating you a bit special if she enjoys it or take some distance if not. Of course, everything is still open at this point but at least you're in a superior position as before and your chances should have improved. And just slowly start acting more and more like a boyfriend, if she's interested she'll treat you in kind. If she's not she'll distance herself.
The "nice guys" are usually socially awkward and not as experienced in dating because they're not as confident, which is why women don't want them most of the time.
"Assholes" are just guys who are confident, usually overly confident and are able to put themselves out there enough that they get attention from women. Women complain about assholes because those guys usually show the most confidence and do the most interaction, giving the impression there are more than there really are out there. That's really the key; being assertive.
I had a serious case of "Nice guy syndrome" myself due to going to a religious school where being bi caused severe self-confidence problems. Now that I've worked out the issues, I'm more assertive and sure of myself, which has gotten me more dates than ever before and I'm seen as more desirable. Though I still have enough "nice guy" in me to amaze the guys and girls I've seen lately and make them comment how refreshingly different it is, so there's hope for anyone.
It's really just common sense for both men AND women:
Guys- You need to develop some self confidence, work out your problems and make yourself be assertive or you'll be stuck where you are. Shit sucked more for some of you than others, but you still have to be the one to deal with your problems and get yourself out there. Women won't come looking for you or want to 'save' you. Get some counseling if you have to, but getting over your shyness and able to approach others is your responsibility if you want to be happy.
Gals- You need to start those critical thinking skills about the guys you date. Getting assholes? Well examine what similar traits they share and avoid them. They may be jerks but if you're getting more than a few at a time, then you might need to re-evaluate your taste in men. This isn't the 50's anymore either... You would think people wouldn't have to say that among the younger generations but a lot of women think they can still sit around expect the right person to come to THEM. You need to be pro-active, get out there and approach guys yourself, even ask THEM out if you like them and they haven't asked you.
Wow, didn't expect to type all that.... It looks like our time is up
"Assholes" are just guys who are confident, usually overly confident and are able to put themselves out there enough that they get attention from women. Women complain about assholes because those guys usually show the most confidence and do the most interaction, giving the impression there are more than there really are out there. That's really the key; being assertive.
I had a serious case of "Nice guy syndrome" myself due to going to a religious school where being bi caused severe self-confidence problems. Now that I've worked out the issues, I'm more assertive and sure of myself, which has gotten me more dates than ever before and I'm seen as more desirable. Though I still have enough "nice guy" in me to amaze the guys and girls I've seen lately and make them comment how refreshingly different it is, so there's hope for anyone.
It's really just common sense for both men AND women:
Guys- You need to develop some self confidence, work out your problems and make yourself be assertive or you'll be stuck where you are. Shit sucked more for some of you than others, but you still have to be the one to deal with your problems and get yourself out there. Women won't come looking for you or want to 'save' you. Get some counseling if you have to, but getting over your shyness and able to approach others is your responsibility if you want to be happy.
Gals- You need to start those critical thinking skills about the guys you date. Getting assholes? Well examine what similar traits they share and avoid them. They may be jerks but if you're getting more than a few at a time, then you might need to re-evaluate your taste in men. This isn't the 50's anymore either... You would think people wouldn't have to say that among the younger generations but a lot of women think they can still sit around expect the right person to come to THEM. You need to be pro-active, get out there and approach guys yourself, even ask THEM out if you like them and they haven't asked you.
Wow, didn't expect to type all that.... It looks like our time is up
Nope. Not anymore.
You can avoid being a "nice guy" and not be a jerk, but it does take practice and there's a lot of habits you'll likely have to break.
I'd recommend taking the time and effort to break them, though. Girls aren't fans of nice guys, at least not in the dating sense. And the reason is because nice guys aren't a challenge.
You can avoid being a "nice guy" and not be a jerk, but it does take practice and there's a lot of habits you'll likely have to break.
I'd recommend taking the time and effort to break them, though. Girls aren't fans of nice guys, at least not in the dating sense. And the reason is because nice guys aren't a challenge.