Are you socially awkward by choice?

[hypovolemia]

Being introverted is not really a choice. There is even a plausible physiological explanation for the difference between introverts and extroverts. Our brains have a certain baseline of arousal (or activity), which is higher for introverts. If your level of arousal is too low you get bored. If it's to high you feel tense and overwhelmed. So the amount of stimulation that an extrovert needs to reach the most pleasant level of arousal would be stressful for an introvert. This results in things like different preferred volume of music or even the effect of certain drugs (e.g. stimulants make extroverts calmer).

As for me, I'm a socially awkward introvert. Most interactions with people are unpleasant, stressful and/or boring to me, thus I avoid them. So, in a way, I'm socially awkward by choice, because I don't get to practice these interactions very often.

Edit:

Can you choose to be annoyed? I'm assuming you can choose how you respond to being annoyed by things, but somehow I don't think the annoyance itself is a choice.

Well, you can turn positive/negative thoughts into a habit (see: cognitive psychotherapy), so yes, kind of.

 

[similar.squirrel]

I have trouble raising my voice, and people tend to get very loud in large gatherings. I think that's the only problem, now that the inferiority-complex has been more-or-less conquered.

 

[Da Orky Man]

I'm introverted as all hell, but I'm not too awkward in social situations. I only appear awkaward when I want the other person to leave. If I'm around people I like, I'm fine.

But usually, I'm fine spending a few days with my only direct contact with othe people being the internet.

 

[Zack Alklazaris]

I am socially awkward because of a bit of both. I will tell what I later would find out would be an inappropriate joke or I will offend someone by "ribbing" on them the wrong way. I don't intend to hurt anyone I just have that gamer warp sense of humor. (Pedobear anyone?)
But then there are times when society frowns upon certain personalities. Look, you can wear your Cowbows helmet and paint your chest blue n white all you want. I understand you, they win you win, whatever. But I'm gunna stick with my gamer shirts and scream like Kirk did with Khan whenever a new game comes out. Truth is we all idolize something. They just happen to idolize something more socially popular.

My point is that while many of us are socially awkward I'm sure. Its not always our fault, even if it is by our choice.

 

[mcdain]

I wouldn't say I'm socially awkward. I like to think I do rather well in social situations.

I just choose not to be in said situations.

 

[SilentCom]

I'm an introvert, have bad social skills, and generally not noticed by people. I don't think I have that much choice in my social awkwardness, so I instead post on these forums...

 

[dickywebster]

I tend to be socially akward due to bad past experiances with people and not really knowing what to do etc.

 

[OrokuSaki]

Are...are you me?

Everything except the last part is pretty much everything I end up doing, and I've gone days without talking to someone. I can't tell you how many times I've had to talk myself up just to talk to someone about something important, only later to feel like an idiot.

Pretty much the same, yeah. Especially when it turns out to not be that important.

 

[OmniscientOstrich]

No, that's not being socially awkward, that's just avoiding people you don't like, I have a friend who openly expresses his many nerdy habbits but doesn't have actual difficulty in talking to people. I'm socially awkward in that I have difficulty approaching/conversing with people, I'm terrible at initating and maintaining conversations and I generally feel pressured around large groups and the like which to some degree can be attributed to my Aspergers (no it's not a fucking self-diagnosis, it was tested by a qualified professional). Admittedly my inaction and reticence isn't helping to settle in, but generally being awkward, even around close friends sometimes is no choice, I just don't know how to act.

 

[Togs]

Personally its not by choice, social situations (especially crowds and meeting new people) tend to get very overwhelming- there's too much I've gotta do at once which frequently just causes me shut down.

Im also kind of a loner- I like time to myself as I can think and day dream in peace, companies nice and I suffer without it but I need time alone to recharge my batteries.

I also hate being intrusive- I kinda assume that if people havent contacted me then they dont wanna hear from me, this is something thats considerably improved from when I was young but is still very much present.

 

[Kolby Jack]

I didn't choose to be socially awkward, but once I realized I was, I settled comfortably into it. I don't resent social people or activities like many socially awkward people seem to, nor do I get mad when people try to include me in their fun. I politely decline (unless I actually want to do it, which is rare) and usually that's that.

 

[ChaoticKraus]

I'm not socially akward at all. When i'm in a good mood im pretty sure i could talk to anyone anywhere and instantly get along with them.

When i'm in a bad mood i tend to avoid people becuase i don't want to darken their day and i don't want be around people that might annoy me.

 

[Vault101]

Personally its not by choice, social situations (especially crowds and meeting new people) tend to get very overwhelming- there's too much I've gotta do at once which frequently just causes me shut down.

Im also kind of a loner- I like time to myself as I can think and day dream in peace, companies nice and I suffer without it but I need time alone to recharge my batteries.

I also hate being intrusive- I kinda assume that if people havent contacted me then they dont wanna hear from me, this is something thats considerably improved from when I was young but is still very much present.

I know what you mean, I have a habt of falling off peoples radars because of this, I cant even post on the facebook page's of freinds

and I'm never in "chill out" mode untill Im on my own (depending on who it is), I think thats why it can be tireing, your constantly swtiched on

anyway unrelated but aftert thinking about it I never really had the opertunity to find peopel with similar interests

 

[Togs]

[

anyway unrelated but aftert thinking about it I never really had the opertunity to find peopel with similar interests

I guess Im lucky in that regard- Ive always found it semi easy to spot the people in any organisation/group/clique who Id get along with, and whilst turning them into friends is tricky with me at least I find helps ot be as genuine and friendly as I can and not to push it.

 

[Vault101]

[

anyway unrelated but aftert thinking about it I never really had the opertunity to find peopel with similar interests

I guess Im lucky in that regard- Ive always found it semi easy to spot the people in any organisation/group/clique who Id get along with, and whilst turning them into friends is tricky with me at least I find helps ot be as genuine and friendly as I can and not to push it.

thats not the hard part..generally I can tell who I would get along with and who I wouldnt (even then though you can always be surprised)

I grew up/went to school in a small town so my clique of freinds was already set for ageis (and they really were great freinds) then I went straight onto boarding school, so I pretty much fell into being freinds with whoever I felt more comfortable being around (I was the quiet one)

I only came of out of the "geek closet" semi-recently I just never had a chance, to explore/do geeky stuff or find a group of freinds who really had the same inerests (that was untill I got a half decent computer and foudn the escapist)

/life story

 

[Zykon TheLich]

I'm not

 

[Biosophilogical]

I prefer to think of social skills in four dimensional space (time being the fourth dimension). If I knew how to imagine more, I would. Essentially you have the linear, unchanging core or unsocial vs social, but then you have an infinite number of variations that simply relate to how you go about it. Do you geek-speak your way to fame/infamy? Are you quiet and thoughtful? Perhaps you are a chameleon, adapting your techniques to match your company?

 

[AlwaysPractical]

What exactly do you mean with socially akward?

If you mean that it's hard for me to interact with other people, then I'm not.

If you mean being regarded as "weird" by others, then yes, I am, and by choice. I've found that being that kind of weird makes me far more interesting to most people. Most of my friends would not be my friends if I wasn't making the akward jokes in my trademark nerdy cheerful manner. This kind of social akwardness also raises your sex appeal... or so I've been told.

 

[2xDouble]

Yes and no. That's the thing with depression, it influences your choices to reinforce itself.

Apparently people are put off by simple, complete statements...