Asking out a friend

[pulse2]

Okay, I have a question, if you fancied a friend, would you risk the relationship you have at the moment in order to attempt to be with them?

Of course this all depends on how well that friend knows your other friends and your family, etc and how long you've known them and how close you are blah blah, you get the idea.

I'm asking this because I have two friends, they are both close, they like each other, but they don't want to risk it, I suppose it's kind of irritating seeing them flirting and such but not just going the full way and becoming a couple.

 

[JRCB]

I took that chance with a friend I've known for less than a year. I'd say it's worth it, because there was kind of something there already, so I decided to pursue it. And I definitely do not regret it.

On the other hand, a while ago I tried to ask out a long-time friend. She would say yes, but then say no at the last minute. That sucked balls, and I haven't talked to her since.

All in all, I guess it depends on the person, and whether or not you think they like you back.

 

[C117]

Yup, sure would. I don't think our relationship would just fall apart if she said no.

 

[Lord Kloo]

I've done that with a girl who I became friends with 5 years earlier because I fancied her yet up until a few weeks ago I haven't had the balls to ask her out properly..

She said no on the grounds that she didn't want to risk losing the relationship we already had, still even though she said no I didn't regret it (much) and she took it well and now we spend much more time together (yay for now much more awkward situations..) so it doesn't go too badly in the end.

TBH I'd tell them both to go out and just try and end it well if it has to end.. When I asked out afore mentioned girl we didn't really discuss whether it would work or not, it was quite awkward.. its quite likely she was just trying to be nice and not just saying she didn't like me..

Overall it depends on the two people and their existing relationship, if its got more potential then I'd always say go for it..

EDIT: flirting is extremely irritating when you know its not going to get you anywhere, if I were to be very un-moralistic then I would say there's almost no point to a rather flirtatious friendship if it doesn't lead anywhere..

 

[L4hlborg]

Well there was a similiar (though apparently unmutual) situation going on between my 2 friends. It ended up with a ridiculous fight that lasted several weeks, as one side didn't want to communicate at all. And both sides just kept on complaining about each other to me. I ended up tricking them to talk to gether via messenger and all is well now. The whole thing was just about as bad as it could get for the innocent bystander (me).

Out of this personal experience, I can honestly say I wouldn't risk it.

 

[Nimcha]

I have done this once. Well, sort of. She was the one asking me out in the end after being quite close friends for about a year. We went out, had a relationship of about 6 months and now we're back to being friends again.

All that is already 4 years ago or something, so we hardly ever bring it up anymore. I guess we got lucky!

 

[pulse2]

@ ciortas1

Not particularly, I'd know they were a couple, couples don't irritate me unless they are getting it on when I'm around, that hasn't happened, but people never fail to suprise me.

I think it all depends on the extent to which you go with that friend, I would personally feel awkward just going back to being friends with someone I went all the way with, I can more than do it with an ex, because we were in a relationship to begin with, people knew that, but if they were a close friend that everyone I know also knows, I'd find that far too awkward to just go back to being friends. Besides, you can't determine on what terms the relationship will end if it does.

 

[tomtom94]

I was stopped from asking out a friend of mine only cause she got distracted and I missed my chance to speak to her alone.

But in retrospect I realise it wouldn't have been a good idea cause she doesn't feel the same about me.

Every situation's different. There's no right or wrong answer and you can only learn from your mistakes.
What I will say is if you don't do anything you don't get anything in return.

 

[ThreeWords]

It depends. I've backed down from trying anything with my best friend, but on the other hand I've achieved veritable infamy for my habit of going for a romance with every chance.

To be honest, I'd just follow my gut; if it felt right, why not? I've been intimate with (almost) all my close friends, and they're still my friends.

 

[baddude1337]

Every situations different as people have said, but its generally a bad idea. If the other person does not share the same feelings it can make it a bit awkward from then on, and if it doesn't work out you will more than likely lose a good friend.

 

[CarpathianMuffin]

I had with my past two relationships. Turns out the feelings were reciprocated both times, so I was lucky.
So yes, I would, if I were positive that they liked me back. I may tell them my feelings either way, but I wouldn't ask them to be with me unless I knew they felt the same way.

 

[CharrHawk164]

I have been asked out by a friend and it was a bit weird at first but it ended up feeling amazing. The thing is when we split up I lost my best friend I ever had. That's what hurts the most

 

[loc978]

Nah.

But I have had two co-workers who turned into regular fuck-buddies. Completely against regulation in both cases. Good times, good times.

 

[Jumping_Over_Fences]

I would risk it all. If you think that it would be a risk getting into a relationship, then you really shouldn't get into one to begin with.

 

[JaredXE]

From my personal experience, it almost never works because THEY will give the, "It might ruin the friendship!" speech. Which is bullshit, they don't know the future any more then you do.

If the two of you are find each other attractive, get along well and have common interests, then what the fuck is the problem? Aren't you supposed to be friends with your partner? So what is wrong with turning your friend INTO your partner?

 

[6unn3r]

Okay, I have a question, if you fancied a friend, would you risk the relationship you have at the moment in order to attempt to be with them?

Of course this all depends on how well that friend knows your other friends and your family, etc and how long you've known them and how close you are blah blah, you get the idea.

I'm asking this because I have two friends, they are both close, they like each other, but they don't want to risk it, I suppose it's kind of irritating seeing them flirting and such but not just going the full way and becoming a couple.

I've been in this situation and i told her how i felt. I got the "I like you but....as a friend" speech....broke my heart, and after that the friendship broke down and we didnt really speak much afterwards. I would never risk a good friend like that again. I would rather have 200 friends than 1 girlfriend.

 

[fishman279]

I was in that situation. After putting it off for about a month I asked her out. We aren't friends any more. Shame really.

 

[HotPinkCrayola]

Well I went out with my best friend in High School. He did some stupid stuff, I dumped him, he tried to ruin my reputation, I laughed at him, we didn't speak for months, he wrote me a letter saying he was in love with me, I was already in a relationship, we didn't talk for a couple of years, he got in touch and appologised for being a little shit, we became really good mates again and I'm off to his engagement party next week.

Yeah it could go shit, but they should give it a go and if they're good enough friends it doesn't matter if it doesn't work out because they'll probably be fine once the dust has settled. Even if it takes years afterwards.