singularapathy said:
She doesn't even know what makes her happy, anymore.
Happiness is a false goal just as much as "winning". The pursuit of happiness has given the world The American Nightmare - a meritocracy afflicted by Status Anxiety, decadent levels of consumption asserted over doing-it-for-yourself-because-you're-interested creation. It has implanted the toxic idea in culture that to pursue one's own non-professional idiosyncratic interests is to be "a waste of space" and a "drain on society". Sure... far better to be part of "The Game" and ruthlessly compete to ensure you remain an exploiter and/or avoid becoming the exploited.
Even without the influence of Capitalism and Advertising commodifying Happiness, it is too fleeting an emotion to base your life around.
By all means enjoy Joy when it happens, but don't try to hang on to it, recapture it, engineer it (say with drugs), or over-analyze it (as you will simply curtail the levity and respite from serious-minded introspection that it brings). By all means pause to appreciate the stuff in life that should be an ephemeral pleasure. By all means accept that the fact that there is no "Ultimate Meaning of Life, the Universe and Everything" (due to the awkward problem of the impossibility of being able to
pose a question that can be definitively answered as that implies that you must be objective - and therefore
external - to the Universe of discourse, which includes language and consciousness, the entire physical universe and its history from start to finish), provided that you regard this as a
liberation from all debts to society, familial expectation and if you so choose: rule of law.
I personally recommend what has worked for me: seeking Contentment rather than Happiness, avoiding Status Anxiety (i.e. comparing myself to my peers/neighbors and chastising myself for my comparative 'failure', or fermenting jealousy - as it is just a pathway into financial debt), preventing unhealthy narcissistic, masochistic, over-introspection and the "labyrinthine thought-processes" that characterize depression by recognizing the dangers of boredom (and an over-active, undirected mind) and working as hard as I can to focus on an engaging intellectually challenging project which involves plenty of research that takes me "out of myself" and stops me from going insane with boredom. It doesn't matter what comes of this project. I am not seeking commercial success or kudos from my peers. It isn't even all that important that I
finish provided that it continues to give me something to do.
So the advice your girlfriend is getting from her Psychologist seems fine. I don't expect to control all aspects of
my life. Acceptance is a key life-skill: you need to tolerate entropy and imperfection in the Universe, you need to avoid manipulative people in society. I have found it helps to feign a veneer of good manners (even over-politeness) to smooth-over the irregularity created by people's conflicting "wants and desires", I have found it helpful to have few "wants and desires" myself and to ensure that the ones that I do need are 'my business' and a secret from strangers who would exploit and manipulate me on the basis of what they had found out about me. Pathetically unassertive? Maybe, but I can guarantee that this works - all it means is that you have to disguise your personality (your inner drives) from people who you have just met and don't trust; sensible really. I'm not advocating lying to everyone you know...
Finally, when I re-read your OP after reading the rest of this thread, it struck me that the sentence I have quoted from it may hold the key. At first I scanned it and gleaned that "she was confused', then that maybe she had become out of touch with her true self due to receiving far too much conflicting advice (no matter how well-intentioned this may have been, after all, I became unsure what to say after reading the whole of this thread, so I expect by now it seems easier to be apathetic as it resolves the problem of "
The Dilemma of Choice" - i.e. whose advice to adopt and whose compassionate advice to reject - by choosing not to choose; for fear of making the wrong choice as well as maybe upsetting some relation's feelings, or appearing recalcitrant in the eyes of their health professional. Whilst this only yields stagnation and atrophy of will with time, laying the foundations for anxiety and depression which she may continue to think she hasn't got for as long as she lets her mind walk around a labyrinth that is so large and ever-expanding it gives her the illusion that her mind is
free, yet were she able to take a break from this unhealthy introspection - after all, it is still going to be there when
and if she returns her thoughts to it - she may very likely discover that she can reflect on the mental holiday she has taken and with the labyrinthine-thinking no longer dominating her short-term memory she can view it objectively for the pattern it is:
a trap), finally I realized that I had missed the subtle implication that she
did know what made her happy in the past.
Realizing that this was significant my final advice is for you to tell her to make this a topic of discussion with her Psychologist (if it hasn't been already covered) and let that professional identify the onset of her depressive phase, what caused the change and why. It may well be that by endlessly talking about her problems with her you are not helping her as much as if you just forcibly distracted her and dragged her out for a walk where she could see the sun glint through the trees, feel a nice breeze, hear a running stream and eat an ice-cream.
Ultimately, the strongest case I can give against a (non-terminally ill) person avoiding suicide is that you only get one life, it is fairly short and
you might as well wait.