Attraction explained: how to talk to women

[Shaun Hastings]

I wonder if the same thing applies to lesbians.

 

[feycreature]

Here are some POSSIBLE signs that a girl is showing basic social skills and doesn't dislike you. Yet:
- she reinitiates conversations with you when you stop talking.
- She smiles at you
- She asks your name, age, job, favourite toothpaste, whatever.
- She compliments you
- she introduces you to her friends
- she returns your calls
- if it comes up that you like something, she talks about that.
- When she has to go to the bathroom, she comes back.

When you assume you make an...well, you know the rest.

 

[Stasisesque]

Love how you ignore the fact that all of us women are telling you that you're wrong, and only focus on that we think your views are misogynistic. Yes, people can be manipulated. Yes, you can lead a woman to believe you're someone other than yourself. Will it get you a successful relationship? Not on your life. As I said earlier, your views on how to score a date are flawed. Girls aren't interested in guys who pepper them with cheesy jokes ten seconds after meeting them. Not to mention your list of things that are signs of attraction are seriously flawed, and a couple of them can just as easily mean she's making fun of you rather than flirting with you, or could possibly be situational and unavoidable. Most girls are more interested in someone who makes an effort to get to know them than a guy who sidles up with bad jokes and obviously is only looking to hop into the nearest pair of feminine pants (as you obviously are with that advice.) You're more likely to get a date by being yourself and having something in common with are girl than you will with bad jokes and even worse pick-up lines.
Everything you posted was manipulative, misrepresented and wrong, and I really hope you stop perpetuating this so-called "advice" of yours.

Uh, not all the women are telling him he's wrong, because - he isn't. Nothing he posted is WRONG, it's just a half formed thought.

The people who have objected (and not all of them female), and the ones who have agreed or at least in part seen the truth/sense behind it (and not all of them male) are working along two completely separate lines of thought. Internet culture has spawned this new idea of becoming friends with a potential mate before making your move, it's so much easier to find out the little personal details you'd otherwise need three or four dates to uncover, and thus exploit OR simply work with them to get yourself to the point where your target will consider you a successful breeding project (replace with preferred term). The problem with this is, once you've got that far, often one party will see it as a relationship, rather than casual dating - and the relationship stage is where the OP's advice falls down.

For casual dating, or to get into someone else's pants, yeah it'll probably work. What he's forgetting is, it's much more likely you are being manipulated at the same time. There are as many "signs" and visual clues that a man fancies a woman as there are a woman is attracted to a man - and after a bit of practise, you can train yourself to recognise them and limit your target audience to those who show signs of attraction within the first few snatches of conversation.

Relationships, however, are a completely different animal - and you aren't going to get there until you've beaten your way through the incredibly unfriendly jungle of casual dating. No, a friendship does not count, friendships are based on entirely different "rules" and standards. With a strong friendship already in place, the dating world can be easier, but it can be much, much harder - it depends on the people involved. So, in my opinion, a friendship before dating is completely irrelevant. A friendship formed during the dating stage or the relationship stage is vital, but it is unnecessary prior to.

And not everyone will want what you want. The guy chatting you up in the bar might be looking to start a life with you sometime down the line, get married, have kids etc. or he might be looking for a fun romp for a few months. Similarly, the girl being approached may be looking for "the one", or someone with enough bedroom experience to stop her losing faith in men altogether.

In short, there is absolutely no harm whatsoever in anything the OP said. Nor the men who employ his tactics on a regular basis. It's up to you, the highly offended woman, to be smart enough to know when said womaniser is being just that, and when he's just a little awkward and actually really does care about you.

 

[Sark]

My advice: Be yourself.
Be proud of being yourself, don't self depreciate.
Try to consider each person as a person, girls (and boys) are actually far more approachable than you might think.
Be confident, or at the very least try to be confident, its far better to try and fail than to never try.
Lastly: Remember to be yourself, if the person doesn't like how you really are, then there is no point in persuing a relationship with them.

 

[thahat]

Holy fuck.

Okay. If you spend this much time analising "relationships", and "how to talk to women", and you actually buy into this stuff, you are a sad, sad person, and you probably consider a brief mundane conversation with a "girl" to make your day. (E.X. You: Tuesdays Coming, did you bring your coat? Her: yes.)

.

.
IN OTHER WORDS,
Wisdom from a normal, non socially crippled person who actually talks to people of the opposite gender:

People are not rational creatures. They are not computers, they do not operate by logical constraints, they are emotional, feeling above thinking. If you actually try to talk to someone by "the rules" or something, you're going to look like an idiot. If you analise people by these terrible generalizations, chances are you haven't actually been around many people.

How this pertains to this thread: If you want to embark on the momentous task of talking to one of those "women" that you've heard exist, act natural and when i say act natural, don't act, acting is a mistake. Don't think about it, just have a normal fucking conversation with them.

I am fully aware that the majority of people operate based on their feelings. What I am proposing is that their emotions have logical connections behind them.

do note mr. smarty pants. logical. TO. THEM.
=/= logical. especially in females. especially in my girlfriend, it took me about 10 monts to compile to myself how the hell she thinks. worth every single hour of it, but stil XD
logic wont save your ass when you need it to, being a decent human being most of the times works better.

 

[Lilani]

thanks for the video but im not the kind guy for pick up lines or insencerity(spell check?) I always go for someone I seriously care about but. How am I to meet someone if I cannot introduce myself? or even start one itty bitty conversation?

That's good. I was worried for a moment when you seemed to be buying into all of those cheap tricks he was advertising, lol.

I find myself noticing guys the most when they ask "How are you?" It's casual, very polite, and it instantly makes the point that they are focusing on me. It gets my attention very quickly. My advice then is just to run with what she responds with, and tell her something similar about yourself, to show you're willing to be open too. Then just have a normal conversation from there, names and whatnot will come naturally.

This sort of stuff you can actually practice with. Just try starting random conversations with people in elevators or on public transportation, and see how far you can get without making it seem stretched. The art of casual conversation is really all you need for an introduction

 

[Aerodyamic]

I like how everyone who agreed with me has been quietly ignored.

I'm not ignoring anyone that agrees with you, but I did point out that reading a book about picking girls up doesn't qualify you as a 'pick-up guru', nor do the methods you've outlined fit everyone.

In the right environment, those things work; in the wrong environment, you'll be lucky to get just get brushed off.

And now the germane point is revealed:

But I would argue that your reaction to my dental floss joke varies wildly when in one case I tell you I use it to score...

Most people here don't agree that the point to meeting people of the opposite sex is to get into someone's pants. Besides which, it's consider gauche to kiss and tell.

 

[DuctTapeJedi]

OT: Or you could, you know, just talk to us like a human being...

 

[fgdfgdgd]

Dear god, walk upto said girl, open mouth, move tongue and mouth in conjunction with breaking and manipulation your throat to produce sounds and noises that somewhat resemble a language she can understand, if she doesn't like your company, she's likely to let you know, if not, then just man up and ask her if she wants to get a milkshake or condoms or whatever it is highschoolers are buying one another these days--[/old man rant, even though i'm not old]