Attraction explained: how to talk to women

[DigitalSushi]

Right, does anyone want to give me the skinny?.

"Man reads The Game, posts a synopsis on the internet" should just about cover it.

Actually, the first bit (about what attracts men and women) was pretty accurate in a Psychology 101 sort of way. As for the rest of it... *shrug*.

You superstar, I was wondering why I had to wade in here using my booming mod voice but from what I can tell, its just a bit of ignorance.

To stay on topic, Hortez, there is no formula to getting a womans attraction, the wominz aren't a science project.

They are creatures equal to us men, only with a wonderful smell and a cute squint in there faces you want to see when they wake up as the sun rises.

 

[Uncreation]

I see a lot of people have jumped to "tear OP a new one", so to speak. I've read most of what he wrote, and it sounds familiar to me. I have friends who apply this kind of... philosophy, thinking, whatever you want to call it. And, YES it actually works. No, not once or twice, constantly.
Now, i don't go through with this myself, since i have basically given up. If a girl is interested and she comes to me, fine. If not, whatever, i'm just moving on with the rest of my life, and i have more than enough to keep me busy.

Anyway, i just wanted to say, that even though it might sound like bullshit to people, i have seen all that stuff, and it actually works.

 

[Faladorian]

Wow...you sir are a sad lonly man if you think this is how it works. You have my pity.

I wanna get something clear right now: I am not a lonely man. I go out and talk to all sorts of people on a regular basis. And when I flirt with women, I do what I described in my Berlin-wall-of-text, and it works. I did not invent this theory sitting in my basement. I didn't even make it up. It was made when a group of guys decided they didn't want to be sad and lonely and went out and did something about it. It works, ask anyone who knows anything about psychology and they will tell you it works.

No, it doesn't. Also, since you're employing a retarded stereotype, I think I'll try one. Okay so Hortez, Champion of the Frozen Wastes. I'm going to assume that means Northrend, and that you play World of Warcraft and have at least one level 80. On that note, why the FUCK should we take advice about picking up girls from you? This does not work. If you told a joke like that, the majority of people would think you're a fucking nerd and maybe awkwardly smile, and stop talking so that you'll go away.

 

[Syrus Vikeruce]

Watch Two and a Half Men.

That is all.

 

[spartan1077]

So in the beginning I thought-
Everyone is instictual! Woah I think that too! Must read more...
Then I thought-
Ermm....so your saying make a stupid joke?\

If a woman is not attracted to you, no moves will make her attracted to you!

 

[astrav1]

TL;DR Version please OP?

 

[Lilani]

snip

As a woman, I can honestly say this "explanation" of attraction offends me. You make it seem as though there is some way to "trick" girls into liking you, a way to "charm" her into her arms. Some women may be like this, but those are also the ones who average probably 5-25 boyfriends a year.

I've found the best relationships begin with friendship. One of those "friends with benefits" situations, where being with them is more like being with that friend you never get tired of. No special tricks, no exploiting body language or psychology. Just honesty. A relationship founded on tricks is nothing but an act.

 

[Zechnophobe]

I love how the 'signs of attraction' list just about everything. I feel like it needs more:

Laughs at your jokes
Doesn't laugh at your jokes
owns a cat
Supports her local Youth Hostel
Asks you to hold her bags for just a second.
Doesn't call the cops when she finds you in her bushes.
DOES call the cops when she finds you in her bushes.
Keeps asking you questions like "Where is my Cat, you sonuvabitch?"

 

[Zechnophobe]

Wow...you sir are a sad lonly man if you think this is how it works. You have my pity.

I wanna get something clear right now: I am not a lonely man. I go out and talk to all sorts of people on a regular basis. And when I flirt with women, I do what I described in my Berlin-wall-of-text, and it works. I did not invent this theory sitting in my basement. I didn't even make it up. It was made when a group of guys decided they didn't want to be sad and lonely and went out and did something about it. It works, ask anyone who knows anything about psychology and they will tell you it works.

No, it doesn't. Also, since you're employing a retarded stereotype, I think I'll try one. Okay so Hortez, Champion of the Frozen Wastes. I'm going to assume that means Northrend, and that you play World of Warcraft and have at least one level 80. On that note, why the FUCK should we take advice about picking up girls from you? This does not work. If you told a joke like that, the majority of people would think you're a fucking nerd and maybe awkwardly smile, and stop talking so that you'll go away.

The real truth is that your body language, and good looks, are what causes a joke like that to get laughs. THE SAME THINGS that make women like you on first impression. Yes, they'll get to know you better over time, but that first 15 seconds? They have your face, and your mannerisms.

You do that some joke with a wink in the right spot, or making (or breaking) eye contact in the right way, and you can make it either awesome... or really creepy.

 

[hortez the champion of the frozen wastes]

I like how everyone who agreed with me has been quietly ignored.

Also, in a response to the manipulative, "it's not really you," thing, I have to say this:

Guy wish they could walk up to girls and say "lets go on a date" or "Lets be boyfriend/girlfriend," but the sad truth is that if that worked then everyone would do it. And for the second bit, whenever I have done this, it doesn't feel like lying, or acting, or manipulating, it feels like slipping on a jacket of confidence.

And for all the women reacting to the fact that the view is misogynistic, then I agree. Unfortunately it's also true. What you have been arguing is that people can't be manipulated. Men, women, transvestites, cats, and dogs can all be manipulated. But here it is not so much manipulating someone into thinking you are a confident person, and more about being a confident person.

And I also agree that trying to impress is a bad thing. But I would argue that your reaction to my dental floss joke varies wildly when in one case I tell you I use it to score, while in the other I tell it to you IRL.

 

[Aureli]

Love how you ignore the fact that all of us women are telling you that you're wrong, and only focus on that we think your views are misogynistic. Yes, people can be manipulated. Yes, you can lead a woman to believe you're someone other than yourself. Will it get you a successful relationship? Not on your life. As I said earlier, your views on how to score a date are flawed. Girls aren't interested in guys who pepper them with cheesy jokes ten seconds after meeting them. Not to mention your list of things that are signs of attraction are seriously flawed, and a couple of them can just as easily mean she's making fun of you rather than flirting with you, or could possibly be situational and unavoidable. Most girls are more interested in someone who makes an effort to get to know them than a guy who sidles up with bad jokes and obviously is only looking to hop into the nearest pair of feminine pants (as you obviously are with that advice.) You're more likely to get a date by being yourself and having something in common with are girl than you will with bad jokes and even worse pick-up lines.
Everything you posted was manipulative, misrepresented and wrong, and I really hope you stop perpetuating this so-called "advice" of yours.

 

[Lilani]

Guy wish they could walk up to girls and say "lets go on a date" or "Lets be boyfriend/girlfriend," but the sad truth is that if that worked then everyone would do it. And for the second bit, whenever I have done this, it doesn't feel like lying, or acting, or manipulating, it feels like slipping on a jacket of confidence.

My point was that real, deep, and lasting relationships don't jump straight into the "relationship" boat. You get to know the person on a friend level first. Going from "almost perfect strangers" to "boyfriend/girlfriend" is a very jarring transition, and puts on a lot of unnecessary pressure in all the wrong places from the get-go.

I think you should always aim for friendship first, then build up from there. Asking someone you barely know (or barely knows you) to enter a romantic situation is not only awkward, but also makes you come across as desperate and a bit creepy. Being genuinely friendly for the sake of being friendly is much more attractive to me than a guy who has a rhetoric a plan set in motion before he even gets to know me.

I don't think I can speak for all women on this, but I'll at least say that personally, I'm not looking for a "date." I'm looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with. Someone I want to grow old with. And what better person is there to spend the rest of your life with than your best friend?

Here below this is the story of a REAL relationship. A lifetime of happiness achieved through sheer honesty and love. No tricks, no psychology, no body language. Just pure honesty, brought out by love.

Spoiler: It's in here

Relationships are not a basketball game. There is no "scoring" of any sort. There's either love or not. I'm sure you have gotten "dates" with your methods, but that's all they were. Dates. Flings. Blips on the radar. Because you only pursued the women on a surface level, treating them as prizes to be won rather than pursuing them because you had a genuine interest in who they were, and what they could teach you about yourself.

 

[CarpathianMuffin]

What I found out:

1. Be yourself. The most cliched and least specific advice out there, but it's one of the most helpful tips you can follow. No point in going for somebody when you don't even act like you normally do.

2. Act confident, but not showy.

3. Don't overdo the niceness.



These are pretty much all you need to know.

 

[Weaver]

I'll believe anything written here when I see supporting evidence form respected psychologists. As this work is not cited it remains nothing but sheer conjecture from a 16 year old.

 

[Kraj]

Rule 1: Be yourself.
Reasoning: If you're not yourself, at best you'll get someone whose attracted to what your not.
Rule 2: There are no other rules. ever. don't listen to anyone else that says more than Rule 1 exists. They're lying. Even me.

...
o_o

 

[Mr.logic]

realize you have attraction for her, then muster the courage to go talk to her.
2. Ask her some random questions about herself, and also throw in a few compliments. Don't forget to hold the door open for her.
3. Gather up the courage to "ask her out," saying to yourself to just get it over with.
4. Get told shes busy, has a boyfriend, likes you as a friend, etc. then go complain about it on the internet


Does this sound familiar? I know it does to me. I remember being completely bewildered when the girls were being so nice to me but then rejecting me. And it made me learn an important lesson:
interaction is not attraction. Chances are, if the above scenario happens to you, its probably because you are not confident enough, and have low social status.

ME: Hey, I gotta go in a second but, can I get your opinion on something? (Body language turned away as if i was just walking by)
GIRL: Okay.
ME: It's very important, a matter of life and death, in fact. I want you to think very hard about this. (said seriously, but not in a boring way; as if what you say is of dire importance to the main character in a comedic sketch)
GIRL: alright...
ME: Do you floss before or after you brush? I've been trying to figure it out for days! (Said in a joking way, as you would say the punchline of a joke [don't laugh])
GIRL: Laughs.


This might be a bit much for some, but I will do my best to explain it. at the beginning I was turned away from her, as if I was passing by, and I said that I gotta go in a second, so she won't be afraid I'll hang around forever. When someone goes up to a girl and starts talking about something, generally a thought will surface that says "when is this guy going to leave?" So the first thing we do is get rid of that.

Next I ask for her opinion on something. I get her attention and ask her to think, even though in this case it is just the set up for a joke. You probably want to actually get her opinion on something that isn't stupid, e.g. "who cheats more, men or women?" or "There are five oceans right? I can only think of four, can you help me out?" (don't worry, I will come back to this)

The whole opinion thing is a tool I use to get her talking about something she is interested in. Good topics to start with are romance, pets, or magic. Don't talk about creepy things like rapists, talk about something that is interesting. And above all, be happy when you say it. Smile! Be confident!

quote]Okay okay but how would you recommend starting a conversation without a joke? just asking her opinion on something? the most crippling habit for me is getting those first few words out, after that im smooth. but introductions, I don't think so.

 

[Lilani]

Okay okay but how would you recommend starting a conversation without a joke? just asking her opinion on something? the most crippling habit for me is getting those first few words out, after that im smooth. but introductions, I don't think so.

As an actual woman, I highly recommend getting to know her on a personal level first. We can see those cheesy jokes and set-ups miles away. It makes your whole conversation pattern awkward and stilted.

I warn you though, if you aren't interested in getting to know who she is first, I guarantee you're going to break up. Relationships aren't formed by one-liners and creepy approaches. They're formed on honesty and chemistry.

I put this video in my previous post, but it looks like you also need a look at a REAL relationship.

 

[Mr.logic]

Okay okay but how would you recommend starting a conversation without a joke? just asking her opinion on something? the most crippling habit for me is getting those first few words out, after that im smooth. but introductions, I don't think so.

As an actual woman, I highly recommend getting to know her on a personal level first. We can see those cheesy jokes and set-ups miles away. It makes your whole conversation pattern awkward and stilted.

I warn you though, if you aren't interested in getting to know who she is first, I guarantee you're going to break up. Relationships aren't formed by one-liners and creepy approaches. They're formed on honesty and chemistry.

I put this video in my previous post, but it looks like you also need a look at a REAL relationship.

thanks for the video but im not the kind guy for pick up lines or insencerity(spell check?) I always go for someone I seriously care about but. How am I to meet someone if I cannot introduce myself? or even start one itty bitty conversation?

 

[CardinalPiggles]

wow... now i think i'll go outside and change my ways when dealing with women...