Authors You Hate
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I don't hate Stephanie Meyer. I just wish she'd stop writing, or go live on Mars or something.
I really dislike Jane Austen. Her books are always hailed as something wonderful but to me they are bland and insipid. It was described as "an English garden without any of the weeds" by one Currer Bell, the pen-name for Charlotte Bronte, and if Austen's own 'target audience' dislikes her books, I think I'm entitled to as well.
One author I really cannot stand is Carol Anne Duffy. She's technically a poet, but she has books so she counts as an author. Every single poem she writes has an undercurrent of "Men; aren't they so stupid, and women; aren't we so perfect?" We know you're a lesbian but you don't need to keep hollering it from the rooftops. She's also really unpleasant in real life. When she didn't win the position of poet laureate she basically said "well I didn't want it anyway. I didn't want to write a poem for Edward [Earl of Wessex] and Sophie [Countess of Wessex]"
And don't get me started on her poem "$" which is basically just her beat-boxing. The sort of poem that would get you or I laughed out of the publishing office.
I really dislike Jane Austen. Her books are always hailed as something wonderful but to me they are bland and insipid. It was described as "an English garden without any of the weeds" by one Currer Bell, the pen-name for Charlotte Bronte, and if Austen's own 'target audience' dislikes her books, I think I'm entitled to as well.
One author I really cannot stand is Carol Anne Duffy. She's technically a poet, but she has books so she counts as an author. Every single poem she writes has an undercurrent of "Men; aren't they so stupid, and women; aren't we so perfect?" We know you're a lesbian but you don't need to keep hollering it from the rooftops. She's also really unpleasant in real life. When she didn't win the position of poet laureate she basically said "well I didn't want it anyway. I didn't want to write a poem for Edward [Earl of Wessex] and Sophie [Countess of Wessex]"
And don't get me started on her poem "$" which is basically just her beat-boxing. The sort of poem that would get you or I laughed out of the publishing office.
Marion Zimmer Bradley, for writing "Two to Conquer". Terry Pratchet, because his humor annoys the snot out of me. Also, the guy who wrote Dune; when I want to read about guys with psychic powers fighting each other with swords over a prophecy about a chosen one, I'll read a bad fantasy novel.
Oh, and writers of trashy vampire romance in general, there's too many to list.
Oh, and writers of trashy vampire romance in general, there's too many to list.
Also, this.walkingdead127 said:
JRR Tolkien. LoTR sucks. Its boring and it sucks. The books suck, they are boring and they suck. He fills them with needless exposition and bland descriptions. I did like the Hobbit though.
Stephenie Meyer.
And the only reason why I don't have any more authors to despise is because I stopped accepting suggestions for reading material from my peers.
(Oh, and the author of the Eragon series. The only Dragon-Rider series that ever was or will ever be good is the Pern series.)
And the only reason why I don't have any more authors to despise is because I stopped accepting suggestions for reading material from my peers.
(Oh, and the author of the Eragon series. The only Dragon-Rider series that ever was or will ever be good is the Pern series.)
...To un-bumfuck my previous statement, I was not reccomended Eragon.
Good-bye, attempt at wittyness... -sigh-
Good-bye, attempt at wittyness... -sigh-
I've come across two books co-authored by Arthur C. Clarke.
I can't recall the names of the other writers involved, but I do recall both of the books being absolute garbage.
So yes. I hate them. For sullying Arthur's name.
Edit: And Brian Moore. Being forced to read Lies of Silence twice is tantamount to being beaten with a soggy brick.
Yes, the Tribbles were bad. Now learn to write.
I can't recall the names of the other writers involved, but I do recall both of the books being absolute garbage.
So yes. I hate them. For sullying Arthur's name.
Edit: And Brian Moore. Being forced to read Lies of Silence twice is tantamount to being beaten with a soggy brick.
Yes, the Tribbles were bad. Now learn to write.
David Eddings. Now, to be fair, I used to really like David Eddings. I thought the Belgariad was awesome and I still do. It's a fun read. What made me hate David Eddings was his (thankfully) short series called "The Dreamers". My rant is as follows.
I really should section that off into paragraphs, but it's late and I'm tired and lazy.
It starts off well enough, and with a concept like the one this series boasts you're already expecting characters with ridiculous powers, so not much issue there. The problem starts when the second book follows almost the exact same plot, a new character is added, and despite past events, absolutely nothing seems to have affected the characters in any way. We have one guy who is the designated badass, the pirate who's sole purpose in the entire series is to provide the "more interesting" characters transportation, a few other characters that are really never characterized enough to make us give a shit, and the children who have been designated as "Dreamers" who work their weird lolicon charms on the resident badass to make him seem more likable and human, while going to sleep so they can use their incredible deus ex machina powers to prevent the main villain, who SHOULD have been awesome, from going past "minor annoyance" in terms of threat level. However, this is all tolerable because throughout the books Eddings keeps hinting at the fact that there is going to be a massive, awesome war that will determine the fate of the world when all is said and done. This would be fine, except Eddings gives his readers one of the biggest kicks to the sack EVER in that he pulls a truly incredible cop-out from his cavernous ass to avoid the whole entire thing! He literally has a minor character, who is only briefly glanced over during each book to assure the reader that he hasn't been forgotten and still exists, suddenly become the All-Father of the Gods, who prevents the awesome, epic conflict we've been promised for three books by THINKING. He literally thinks it, and it's done. The main villain is beaten and the war is over. That's it. Series over. Party time. Everyone goes home without ever developing as characters, or learning anything from their experiences with completely different cultures, and goes about their lives as if absolutely NOTHING happened at all. Every single attempt at a message about unity in this series fell on it's face. Every attempt at drama fell on it's face. Every attempt at humor fell on it's face and kicked itself in the back of the head. The only thing that kept me reading this stupid series was the promise of a giant, epic, nail bitingly close battle with neat monsters in which the heroes inevitably win, but the battle itself is still awesome, and Eddings even cheated me out of that! The characters are dull and grossly two-dimensional, and the books follow such a predictable pattern that after reading the first book you essentially know how the entire thing goes (arrive in new land, prepare for defensive battle, brood a bit, some fighting, kid goes to sleep, incredible deus ex machina power foils enemy army, end of book, new location, add character at the beginning of each book).
Scarecrow looked up in horror, the scar across his eye reminding him of the one time he had been torn at in this way.aezakmi42 said:
"It can't happen again. Not this time, not ever." he thought to himself. "This time there will be a showdown."
Just before a blow from behind dropped him to the floor.
Ah you've got to love Reilly just for the full blow fromage of his writing.
Charles Dickens. Hands down. I don't want a book that gives me two-hundred pages of telling me that people are walking up a hill.
Also, J.D. Salinger is also another author I dislike greatly. After reading Catcher in the Rye, I was ready to slit my wrists and go emo. Friggin' Holden...
Also, J.D. Salinger is also another author I dislike greatly. After reading Catcher in the Rye, I was ready to slit my wrists and go emo. Friggin' Holden...
I cannot stand anything K. W. Jeter wrote. I tried reading some of his books, I really wanted to know more about Boba Fett, but I can't bring myself to go past the first few pages.
Does it have to be someone alive?
If not, then Jonathan Swift. I read Gulliver's travels, and that book is so damn boring, and the worst of it is that there is no dialoge at all.
When a talking sequence begins, It's always "He told Gullier" or "He shouted at Gulliver", it gets so frustrating.
If not, then Jonathan Swift. I read Gulliver's travels, and that book is so damn boring, and the worst of it is that there is no dialoge at all.
When a talking sequence begins, It's always "He told Gullier" or "He shouted at Gulliver", it gets so frustrating.
More unlikeable then Holden Caulfield in Catcher in the Rye? That's hard to believe.HT_Black said: