Authors You Hate

[DeathsAmbassador]

Having actually read the Twilight books I am going to have to say Stephanie Meyer, how can she even call them vampires? Fucking stupid is the only thing that can sum up those books.

It seem like a lot of people are complaining about classic authors like Steinbeck, I agree that they take forever to describe things but I think that's part of their genius, but I guess it's an opinion.

I also hate whoever it was that wrote North To Freedom, but I might be biased because I had to read it in school and the teacher who I hated said it was a work of literary genius.

 

[TheBlobThing]

Dan Brown, for the love of God! No Pun intended, Dan Brown.

It attempts to be so freaking clever, but everyone that reads those books can always bust the riddles within half a second of reading them, while Tom Hanks (I've forgotten the character's name) bums around for 5 fecking chapters scratching his head like a brain dead neanderthal.

That and the formula for his books is exactly the same for each one.

Dude meets girl, girl has problem, meets confident, evil person appears, turns out the confident is evil, turns out the evil guy was being used, confident/real evil guy is foiled thereby solving girl's problem, dude bags girl.

This was the exact formula used for Angels & Demons, it was a test run to see if he could create a page turner, it worked. So then he just copies and pastes the same page turning, 3 page to a chapter formula and added some controversial subject matter pilfered from more talented authors and the Da Vinci Code was born.

I totally agree. Also that he puts a cliffhanger into EVERY damn chapter! God, it's a cheap trick mixed with bogus conspiracy theories to make it seem clever.

 

[Borscht]

Dan Brown, for the love of God! No Pun intended, Dan Brown.

It attempts to be so freaking clever, but everyone that reads those books can always bust the riddles within half a second of reading them, while Tom Hanks (I've forgotten the character's name) bums around for 5 fecking chapters scratching his head like a brain dead neanderthal.

That and the formula for his books is exactly the same for each one.

Dude meets girl, girl has problem, meets confident, evil person appears, turns out the confident is evil, turns out the evil guy was being used, confident/real evil guy is foiled thereby solving girl's problem, dude bags girl.

This was the exact formula used for Angels & Demons, it was a test run to see if he could create a page turner, it worked. So then he just copies and pastes the same page turning, 3 page to a chapter formula and added some controversial subject matter pilfered from more talented authors and the Da Vinci Code was born.

That's what I came to this threat to say.

 

[MeputthecaninthebininHL2]

Moris Gleitzman

Pompous dick, his books are just tripe, and penis.

 

[xenos60]

Goddamn Harry Turtledove

 

[necromanzer52]

John Boyne for writing the boy in the striped pyjamas.
There's only one good thing I can say about that book...It's short.

 

[Vern]

Any author who uses dialogue to advance the story instead of using the story to advance the dialogue.

 

[PyroZombie]

whoever wrote twilight at all, harry potter, and maybe hitler.

 

[Jirlond]

Katie Price and anyone else who has no skill in literature but releases a book on their celebrity status and get people to buy it just because they are idiots.

 

[raxer92]

The author from Twilight

 

[Guestowel]

I do not like Tom Clancy, or Dean Koontz.

 

[TankCopter]

I'd say Stephenie Meyer, but y'know. Ninja'd around a million times. OP has ninja'd my dislike for Christopher Paolini.

My biggest hate? MELINA MARCHETTA, author of Looking For Alibrandi. Fuck, I hated that book. We had to read it for school, I polished it off in a week just to be done with it, then found myself sitting in class being read it for the next three weeks. Why do the books schools make you read always suck so much, jeez.

 

[Evil the White]

Katie Price and anyone else who has no skill in literature but releases a book on their celebrity status and get people to buy it just because they are idiots.

I hate putting up messages just to agree with someone else's post, but this is an exception.

And the Twilight author. I lost half my family and my ex to that one (while we were still dating)

 

[Archaeology Hat]

It's been said a bazillion times before but, Stephanie Meyer... I haven't even read Twilight, reviews and internet disection of it convince me it was a horrible book.

I'm not a big fan of Jean Rhys. Though that's less a fault of her own. Britain has a statistically significant differance between the grades of boys and girls in English. What shall we do? Oh, lets make them read a book that says all men are evil.

 

[Chess__x]

Ian McEwan. Because he's a pretentious git. His stories are also predictable and it's impossible to feel anything for the characters.

 

[Archer147]

stephanie meyer, for about the seventieth time on this thread- if vampires were meant to sparkle, dracula would've rolled around in glitter and pranced way back when. the crimes she has commited to folklore, pop culture and humanity in general are unforgivable

and dan brown- like the books, but he's a terrible writer

 

[UtopiaV1]

Ah that's easy

Just about everyone in the Black Libery except Dan Abnett
He's amazing everyone else is meh

I agree with this so much it hurts! I want Dan Abnett's children! Although the guy who wrote Faith & Fire was pretty good, and it didn't seem like rampant fanfiction like all other Warhammer 40k books.

Yea, fanboyism aside, I agree with everything said in this thread. Twilight author, JK Rowling, Dan Brown, etc, all overrated crap. Joe Abercrombie is very good, and the guy who wrote Orcs, but other than that it's slim pickings.