Authors You Hate

[kiyeshi]

Christopher Paolini

I read Eragon. I though that it was impressive for having been written for a 17-year old. It was a decidedly amateur effort, but I thought that Christopher Paolini seemed like he had enough talent to eventually write something good.

Actually, he was 15 when he wrote it.

OT: I know it's been said enough times, but I can't let it be said that I missed an opportunity to diss Twilight.

"Both Rowling and Meyer, they're speaking directly to young people. ...The real difference is that Harry Potter author Jo Rowling is a terrific writer and Twilight author Stephenie Meyer can't write worth a darn. She's not very good." -- Stephen King

stephen king is my favorite author ever, and i truly detest stephenie meyer for ruining true relationships for an entire generation of women. stephen king bashing her was like christmas come early

 

[Terramax]

L.Ron Hubbard.

I shouldn't have to explain why. But if you don't know what he wrote, forget that name this instance. It's best if you don't.

 

[Talvi]

Stephanie Meyers
Whatever retard thinks that Vampires go out in sunlight and can "sparkle" should be beaten by her own books!
Honestly! Every teenage girl under the age of 16 is now having sexual fantasies about Edward Cullen! ?Oh he?s sooo sexy and amazing! I wish he was my boyfriend!? What? You mean you want a weirdo who pretends to be a vampire, pours glitter on himself when he goes out in sunlight, creepily strokes your face and watches you sleep?
/Sudden arrival of men in white coats
I admit I read the first page of Twilight to see what all the fuss was about. After I read it, I wanted to rip out my eyes and dip my hands in acid.
/rant over

 

[clicketycrack]

Christopher Paolini (couldn't get through the first book)
Stephanie Meyer ("I didn't feel like mentioning that my stomach was already full - full of butterflys" Jesus Christ)
Dan Brown (he sucks)

 

[Rolling Thunder]

Whoever wrote the Sword of Truth series because i do remember the beginning being pure gold, but then it degenerated into the main character being "Like a Boss" and destroying everything.

It was the sickening politics that pissed me off the most. By the fifth book, I was actually writing alternate scenarios where a seven-foot Mercenary punched Richard in the face for having such a shitty, prissy attitude, with his 'I is magics' and kill-everyone antics.


Authors: If you're going to have a man who kills people effortlessly, at least have thedecency to make him a fucked up schizophrenic/psychopath/psychotic/lunatic/monster, rather than a Mary fucking Sue!


Oh, and if I ever meet Ayn Rand in hell, she's getting pitched into it's deepest level!

 

[Ohten]

It was brox's axe. My bullshit alarm went off when I frist read that but I had to think about it.

Even so. An axe that powerful would have had to be crafted by either the Titans, Elune, an Old God, or Sargeras himself, not to mention it would most certainly have drawn Aegwynn (or even Medivh) to it to keep it out of mortal hands (the former to prevent its use for evil, the latter to prevent its use against the orcs or the Legion should Brox fall in battle, or, well, do what he did). I came to that same conclusion, that his axe did the work for him, but it still set off my bullshit alarms because if that were the case, Thrall or Garrosh would have grabbed it in Outland and either given it to Varok or kept it to use against Frostmourne (a weapon strong enough to do *that* to Sargeras would make Frostmourne look like Taelan's toy hammer in Old Hillsbrad).

 

[EMFCRACKSHOT]

Twiilight lady and JK Rowling. Hours of mind numbing boredom I also have an intense disliking for Issac Asimov. Nothing happens in them.
Whoever it was who wrote Orcs. That book was so awfully shite it made me want to throw up

 

[TheScarecrow]

Literary genius my arse. I don't appreciate wasting time reading useless details when valuable plot can be developed and cultured! Classic Literature can bite me, thank you very much. ('cept Shakespeare... he's just awesometastic.)

It's certaintly better than some of the tripe around these days.

 

[Jaebird]

Grant Morrison ruined Batman for me in the sense that it left a bad taste in my mouth, ever since I read Batman : R.I.P. That's just my opinion, anyway.

 

[frankenpimp]

It was brox's axe. My bullshit alarm went off when I frist read that but I had to think about it.

Even so. An axe that powerful would have had to be crafted by either the Titans, Elune, an Old God, or Sargeras himself, not to mention it would most certainly have drawn Aegwynn (or even Medivh) to it to keep it out of mortal hands (the former to prevent its use for evil, the latter to prevent its use against the orcs or the Legion should Brox fall in battle, or, well, do what he did). I came to that same conclusion, that his axe did the work for him, but it still set off my bullshit alarms because if that were the case, Thrall or Garrosh would have grabbed it in Outland and either given it to Varok or kept it to use against Frostmourne (a weapon strong enough to do *that* to Sargeras would make Frostmourne look like Taelan's toy hammer in Old Hillsbrad).

I think you underestimate Cenarius' power. He is the son of Elune. And Medivh and Aegwynn, let alone humans in general, haven't even been thought of when Brox "faced" Sargeras. And its not like Brox mortally wounded him. It's like when Thrall used Chain lighting on Archimonde in the in the third war. It hurt him, but nothing more than stepping on a lego; it was more a means to distract Sargeras while the others could focus on closing the portal. I'm not sure the axe has ever been to outland, I highly doubt Sargeras would've kept the axe around as a keepsake. Varok never faced the Lich King, that was his son, Saurfang the Younger, but I agree that it would make Frostmourne look useless.

 

[Mythbhavd]

Literary genius my arse. I don't appreciate wasting time reading useless details when valuable plot can be developed and cultured! Classic Literature can bite me, thank you very much. ('cept Shakespeare... he's just awesometastic.)

It's certaintly better than some of the tripe around these days.

I think you have literary tripe in both the "classic" era and today's era. Even really good authors tend to occasionally launch a dud. And, you have to take the reader into account. Some people don't want a great story with well developed characters and plots. They want fast food writing. Take Piers Anthony or G. R. R. Martin, for example. I found both to be shallow and boring with cookie cutter characters, yet people love 'em. Their books give ya that guilty pleasure that comes from a good greasy hamburger and fries or maybe a fresh Dunkin' Donut. Well, I can't include P. Anthony in that. He's more of a rice cake, I think. Dry and tasteless.

Whoever wrote the Sword of Truth series because i do remember the beginning being pure gold, but then it degenerated into the main character being "Like a Boss" and destroying everything.

It was the sickening politics that pissed me off the most. By the fifth book, I was actually writing alternate scenarios where a seven-foot Mercenary punched Richard in the face for having such a shitty, prissy attitude, with his 'I is magics' and kill-everyone antics.

The political commentary was one of the things I liked about these books. Although the author himself seems to be rather egotistical, he has a pretty firm grasp of the dangers of socialism and has played it out to the extreme in his books. It seemed, however, that the story started wandering and losing its focus with Chainfire.

Oh, and one last one to add to my "I won't read 'em again list" is Dave Grossman. If you've not read "Two-Space War", avoid it at all costs. While the idea was definitely innovative, the story itself was terrible. The author is known for his seminal work "On Killing" which is a study on human aggression, violence, and violent crimes. That book was nominated for a Pulitzer. "Two-Space War", on the other hand, is a novel that tries to read like a textbook. Some authors should stick to non-fiction.

 

[Cpt Corallis]

To anyone who has read anything from Black Library Publishing, you already know of the evil one.
C.S Goto butchers the (relatively) good background of the Warhammer 40K universe... and apparently hes being given another chance to write a story...'sob'....

 

[Kojii Doom]

A book is like a bucket full of a turtles, it confuses me, fails to explain itself and is intimidating.

 

[Trivun]

whoever wrote twilight

Hah, I was waiting to see who would be the first to mention Stephenie Meyer. I didn't expect it to be the first reply (in truth I expected it to be the OP, so I was actually pleasantly surprised). Anyway, just lets not turn this into a flame war, Twilight in't the devil spawn people claim it to be and that's all.

As for me, I can't really say I hate many authors. Books, yes, there are plenty of books I'm not keen on, but I was raised on a steady diet of good literature and I did English Literature at A-Level, which helped me discover some of the great works of the Romantics and pre-20th century writers (such as Conrad and Shelley). So I can't mention any authors I hate. As for books I hate, anything that isn't written well and doesn't engage me much is a no-no in my eyes. That said, I did like Twilight and Dan Brown's stuff, and none of them are written well. However, that's excusable because everyone has at least one guilty pleasure, and Twilight/Dan Brown are mine.

 

[Ohten]

I think you underestimate Cenarius' power. He is the son of Elune. And Medivh and Aegwynn, let alone humans in general, haven't even been thought of when Brox "faced" Sargeras. And its not like Brox mortally wounded him. It's like when Thrall used Chain lighting on Archimonde in the in the third war. It hurt him, but nothing more than stepping on a lego; it was more a means to distract Sargeras while the others could focus on closing the portal. I'm not sure the axe has ever been to outland, I highly doubt Sargeras would've kept the axe around as a keepsake. Varok never faced the Lich King, that was his son, Saurfang the Younger, but I agree that it would make Frostmourne look useless.

You misunderstand me. I'm saying, since Brox must have been in the "present" at some point, a weapon that powerful would have drawn quite a few peoples' attention in the hands of an orc and a member of the Old Horde. Also, the Highborne and Kalimdor trolls did use primitive humans as slave labor back before the Sundering.

If memory serves, Brox was in Outland, in front of the Dark Portal when he went into his blaze-of-glory death scene, which means the axe would either have been buried/burned with him, or was taken by one of the demons as a trophy. I also never said Varok tangoed with the Lich King (though he ought to, it'd shut Garrosh up something quick).

You also forget, not only is Thrall the strongest mortal shaman around, that chain lightning was some potent magic, and Archimonde wasn't even relatively approaching the level of power Sargeras is packing. Not quite on-par with a glorified Orgrimmar grunt with a powerful magic axe hurting the lord of the Burning Legion.

 

[Rolling Thunder]

Literary genius my arse. I don't appreciate wasting time reading useless details when valuable plot can be developed and cultured! Classic Literature can bite me, thank you very much. ('cept Shakespeare... he's just awesometastic.)

It's certaintly better than some of the tripe around these days.

I think you have literary tripe in both the "classic" era and today's era. Even really good authors tend to occasionally launch a dud. And, you have to take the reader into account. Some people don't want a great story with well developed characters and plots. They want fast food writing. Take Piers Anthony or G. R. R. Martin, for example. I found both to be shallow and boring with cookie cutter characters, yet people love 'em. Their books give ya that guilty pleasure that comes from a good greasy hamburger and fries or maybe a fresh Dunkin' Donut. Well, I can't include P. Anthony in that. He's more of a rice cake, I think. Dry and tasteless.

Whoever wrote the Sword of Truth series because i do remember the beginning being pure gold, but then it degenerated into the main character being "Like a Boss" and destroying everything.

It was the sickening politics that pissed me off the most. By the fifth book, I was actually writing alternate scenarios where a seven-foot Mercenary punched Richard in the face for having such a shitty, prissy attitude, with his 'I is magics' and kill-everyone antics.

The political commentary was one of the things I liked about these books. Although the author himself seems to be rather egotistical, he has a pretty firm grasp of the dangers of socialism and has played it out to the extreme in his books. It seemed, however, that the story started wandering and losing its focus with Chainfire.

The actual dangers he outlines are moronic economics and human stupidity, which he then tries to wrap in a cloak of purest black Anti-Americanism and bile, and call socialist. Jagang and his Empire aren't socialists, they're a bunch of inbreds and/or emos who some fool permitted to overrun an entire country.

 

[frankenpimp]

I think you underestimate Cenarius' power. He is the son of Elune. And Medivh and Aegwynn, let alone humans in general, haven't even been thought of when Brox "faced" Sargeras. And its not like Brox mortally wounded him. It's like when Thrall used Chain lighting on Archimonde in the in the third war. It hurt him, but nothing more than stepping on a lego; it was more a means to distract Sargeras while the others could focus on closing the portal. I'm not sure the axe has ever been to outland, I highly doubt Sargeras would've kept the axe around as a keepsake. Varok never faced the Lich King, that was his son, Saurfang the Younger, but I agree that it would make Frostmourne look useless.

You misunderstand me. I'm saying, since Brox must have been in the "present" at some point, a weapon that powerful would have drawn quite a few peoples' attention in the hands of an orc and a member of the Old Horde. Also, the Highborne and Kalimdor trolls did use primitive humans as slave labor back before the Sundering.

If memory serves, Brox was in Outland, in front of the Dark Portal when he went into his blaze-of-glory death scene, which means the axe would either have been buried/burned with him, or was taken by one of the demons as a trophy. I also never said Varok tangoed with the Lich King (though he ought to, it'd shut Garrosh up something quick).

You also forget, not only is Thrall the strongest mortal shaman around, that chain lightning was some potent magic, and Archimonde wasn't even relatively approaching the level of power Sargeras is packing. Not quite on-par with a glorified Orgrimmar grunt with a powerful magic axe hurting the lord of the Burning Legion.

When Brox confronted Sargeras it was in the realm of the Legion, at the bottom of the Well of Eternity, the Dark Portal hasn't been made yet. And I don't think it's unreasonable an axe crafted by the Lord of the Forests could hurt Sargeras. And he was Impaled by Gorribal moments after and tossed on the pile of dead demons he had slain prior to being confronted by Sargeras. And the size of Sargeras compared to the axe is like drawning a quarter-inch line across your ankle. If someone were to poke you with a sharp pencil and it would break the skin you would say "You *****" and then hit them, which is exactly what Sargeras did.

 

[Suikun]

It's certainly better than some of the tripe around these days.

Depends on the book. I'm one of those morons who loves romance novels, simply because they're optimistic. That and I'm just a whore for anything really cutesy and feel-good.

That being said; Twilight is absolute shite in my eyes. Teen romance = crap. Adult romance = bearable to good.

Another author I'm not too fond of is J.K. Rowling. The first few Harry Potter books I enjoyed because they stuck to a rather simple story and were the kind of kid's fantasy, with adult elements, that is able to be enjoyed. After a few books, however, it turned into just another brooding-teen-angst novel that made me want to just throw the book out the window and get back to reading something entertaining, like George R. R. Martin.

 

[The AI]

Charles Dickens.

Literary appreciation fail.

I'm going to be slightly generic and say Stephenie Meyer. I can't stand her books, which proves that it's not a Mormon thing (I was raised Mormon, but even though I still attend church with my parents and think the BOM is true, I just don't care. I want to live for right now, because it's gonna be gone soon if I don't.)

Anyways, I also think that some of Shakespeare's works are heavily overrated. I consider Romeo and Juliet to be one of his weakest works, while slightly lesser known ones, such as The Merchant of Venice and Taming of the Shrew, are quite awesome.

I personally want to read Twilight so I can know for myself how bad it is. I was prepared to shoot your post down until you praised The Merchant.
Also what's with the Mormom thing you touched on there, what does it have to do with anything?

Supposedly, the Twilight series has some hidden message about Mormon values.

 

[EchetusXe]

Adolf Hitler.

He wrote a book and I hate him.