Awkward and Useless Superpowers

[Patrick Buck]

Tree powers... Activate!
http://www.downtoearthservices.co.uk/resources/tree2.gif

...Or bascially the ability to turn into a tree.

 

[Scarim Coral]

Being able to create fire but you are not immune to the heat at all.

 

[GodofDisaster]

The power of Thanatokinesis (To kill someone just by willpower) but you can only do it on Zombies who are already dead.

The power of super speed but only when you run through sharp stones and glass.

The power to be immortal which will only activate when you're suffering from a terminal disease or are in extreme pain and you really want to die.

 

[bauke67]

The Ability to predict the past! now thats pointless

Are you entirely sure about that?
Man, if I had such an ability...
So much stuff I could instantly explain.
Maybe even know what someone was thinking half a second ago, halfway across the planet.


OT: The amazing ability to instantly seduce anyone who you'd never even want to be close to.

Or: behold: Brownnoser, the man with the ability to make his nose suddenly turn brown.

The power to teleport the entire universe. At once.

 

[Someone Depressing]

Invisibility that only works when you're playing a trombone.

 

[Icehearted]

On another board someone once called me icefarted, so I suppose the power of icy farts would be pretty useless and awkward.

 

[ToastiestZombie]

The amazing power TO... shit biscuits. So whenever you go to the loo to have a dump, instead of fecal matter coming out it's hobnobs and jammie dodgers. They are perfectly edible, a bit crumby but they're still tasty biscuits. So, if you're in a party and you've all run out of biscuits you can just pull down your trousers and shit a few digestives out. Actually this superpower sounds awesome! I must find a way to replace my shit with biscuits!

 

[Zeckt]

That one chick from misfits that drives any guy horny to the point of rape just by touching him.

 

[Psychedelic Spartan]

The ability to be invisible but only while playing a trombone and stroking a fish.

 

[Infernai]

The clothes beam- a concentrated beam of energy which, upon making contact with a target will randomly change their clothes to something else. At worst, it's embarrassing, at best...pretty stylish. But, it isn't necessary that USEFUL as far as super powers go.

 

[wintercoat]

The Ability to predict the past! now thats pointless

I would say becoming a renowned, rich archaeologist, who travels the world uncovering lost civilizations sounds rather fun!

OT: The ability to attract insects in a sexual manner.

 

[evilengine]

shit everything you see.
super strength, but only when your hands are in your pockets.
can quick draw a pistol super fast, but only if the gun's unloaded.

 

[Necron_warrior]

To tell someone's future by eating them.

 

[Urgh76]

First thing I thought of:

So my decision stands at that.

 

[CaptainMarvelous]

To have a Superhero name like Ultimate Man Supreme with the power of dissapointment. By merely talking to someone he is able to fail ALL of your expectations!

 

[Mikeyfell]

Invisibility that only works when you're screaming at the top of your lungs.

Super speed is pretty useless but imagine super speed that only worked while you slept.

The ability to hear the next word someone is going to say in your head, but your ears still work so you just have a one word delay on conversation you have like your waring bad earphones.

The ability to always say the appropriate quote from Monty Python for any given situation.

The ability to shrink down really small but you re-grow at normal speed.

The ability to hold in your poo indefinitely but it just kept getting more and more uncomfortable.

Mind control that only works on your self.

Super powerful Xray vision. I mean really really powerful so you see through everything and the entire world just looks blank.

The power to bring back Arrested Development but it wouldn't be funny any more.

The power to come up with a perfect zinger 4 seconds after it stopped mattering (I have that one)

The ability to "beat" Minecraft.

The ability to go back in time 60 seconds but with out your memory so you're unable to change anything.

The ability to psychically move your keys, but only away from you.

The ability to make a bad stench that only you can smell.

The ability to come up with a bunch of random useless super powers for an internet forum thread.

 

[Erzengel]

and more

Arm Fall Off Boy

Arm Fall Off Boy has the ability to detach his own limbs, which he can then use as blunt weapons.

That just makes me wonder what qualifies as a limb. Obviously arms, most likely legs, but what about his head? Or his... manly bits? Does he have any sensation or control after detaching? Would detaching his head pretty much kill him if his friends don't stick it back on in a few seconds? Depending on the required secondary powers, arm-fall-off-boy could be useful.

 

[RustlessPotato]

Well whenever I go into a room or try to talk to a girl they either all disappear or can't hear me.

 

[Banesan]

The ability to grow your toenails twice as fast.