Awkward Male/Female Questions

[Asuka Soryu]

Because life is a roller coaster with some of the screws loose. Hold on tight, baby~!

 

[maxben]

But that's not really fair now is it? The scientifically recorded differences between men and women are based on an average; an average that is also culturally limited at times but that's irrelevant. No one is saying its necessarily biological, though it is definitely associated with biology. Social constructs of gender are also very important and very very real. You have an internal understanding of your masculinity/femininity because you grew up in a society that emphasized those concepts. I noticed this when I began my first really long term relationship. It seemed that at a point our relationship hit a point where we were almost automatically conforming to gender stereotypes. Before that, she was a "tomboy" and I was a "sensitive boy". These were the examples of relationship we had growing up so that's what we tried to emulate.
This is also true in the gay community, and also does not require these kinds of extremes. It could refer to more "harmless" activities such as who pays for the bill.
So in a way I certainly agree with you. These generalizations are harmful, but we can't be flippant about their source and the reason for their power.

While some LGBT people do emulate heterosexual norms in their relationships, I'd say that's probably a minority. Or rather, that a minority of heterosexual norms are emulated in any given LGBT relationship. Even heterosexual relationships are becoming less heteronormative in several respects.

I try to avoid guys who try to have heteronormative gay relationships. It feels very scripted to me.

Or maybe it hurts and how would you like it if she rammed shit up your rear for 15 minutes?

I'm guessing you've never heard of pegging. I recommend a Google image search. Honestly, if anal sex hurts badly, you're doing it wrong.[footnote]Or you're new to it and your partner is hung like an ox.[/footnote]

I am not so sure. First of all, relationships are far more heteronormative in today`s gay community compared to the 70s and 80s. The very idea of "gay marriage", though laudable, IS heteronormative. Second, gender has little to do with heterosexuality. Even if you don't follow heterosexual relationship norms, most people have internal idea about their own masculinity and femininity that are informed by society and make up a significant part of their identity. As a bisexual man I have definitely seen it in both heterosexual and homosexual communities. So your personal taste where you attempt to overcome gender norms/roles/expectations in yourself and your partner is rather unique and is usually associated with a particularly radical field of thought.

 

[newfoundsky]

I welcome members of all genders to ship me twenty bucks.

Not because I will help you communicate better with your partner, that's on you. But still, send me twenty bucks. Cash or deer only.

 

[The White Hunter]

There are women here. But iirc the vast majority on here are male, and either dysfunctional or virgins or have never even looked a woman in the eye, judging on poll-results and threads I'vea read recently.

I know there are women on here.

I also know that the Escapist is overall about as friendly to women and considerate of women's issues as Marion is to the sanctity of Koopa Life.

That was more or less the point. Between friend zones and beta males and rape jokes and not understanding why groping women might be taken poorly, the Escapist has demonstrated time and again that it should not be used as any sort of source for information on women.

I mean, beyond the simple fact that women aren't some hive mind, there's the issue of horrendous stereotyping and inability to empathise.

I know that you know and I assumed that you knew that the environment can be unfriendly. It's getting better though, to be honest the gender threads that baned the off-topic forum a few months back were a nightmare I don't wish to relive. Took pages and pages to find a thread that wasn't flame-bait!

Indeed it has. It's best left alone until the userbase matures though.

 

[gazumped]

This is an inappropriate question but seeing as its a thread for awkward male/female questions I'm going to put it out there:

Guys, what does it feel like to get an erection?

Like a sexually pleasureable itch.

Girls, do you really believe crappy those "50 ways to please your man" articles you find in women's magazines?

Sounds exactly like being aroused as a woman, then. And I try to avoid women's magazines (a few dozen pages telling me I'm not pretty enough, no thanks) but I've slept with enough men (i.e. at least two) to know that their desires widely vary.

Yeah, I... uh... well, I just ask my partner things if I want to know. Even if a guy breaks up with me, well, we talk about it. I don't know, I find it quite strange that people can feel comfortable enough to stick their bits into each other and lick the parts where their waste comes out of but they don't feel comfortable enough just to... you know... say some words in front of them. I mean, it's not that it hasn't happened to me before, when I was young and shyer in particular, but it's still bizarre.

But yeah...

To rephrase the questions to make that more obvious: Gals, ever wonder why your boyfriend left you for a slut? Guys, every wonder why your girlfriend won't be a slut for you? Seems like a pretty loaded conversation you're trying to have here.

... the OP does sound a lot like this. Incidentally, the better a guy makes me feel in general, the more comfortable I am with doing weird stuff with him. If a guy's not treating me well in the relationship (as in, criticising my looks, going after other girls right under my nose, etc) then my willingness to get weird in bed disappears, as does my libido in general if he keeps it up.

 

[disgruntledgamer]

Nope. One of the crappy parts of being gay is that when your partner does something you can't explain, you can't just chalk it up to some generalization of how their entire gender thinks or acts. You just have to...deal with it.

Gay guys have all the luck.............. 'Hey remember that one time 3 years ago when you did something stupid?" "No" "Me nether because I'm a Guy"

You asked her for anal, didn't you?

Actually I'm not into the whole anal thing. Never really seen the attraction.

It's lying over stupid stuff that I'm supposed to be offended by, when I'm not offended by it and have informed them that I would rather they were honest instead of spinning a BS story.

You say that now, but I've learned honesty isn't always the best policy. Hey if you want me to be honest and tell you whites not your colour, No you're not the best I've ever had, I think your brown eyes are dull, your mother hit on me on thanksgiving when she was drunk, You could afford to lose a few pounds, Yes I was eye banging that slutty waitress and not get slapped I'd be all for it.

 

[disgruntledgamer]

I have a question, how do I make a good impression on her parents? Her mum likes me but I have only met her mum at the party me and my girlfriend hooked up at. She is going to ask me to meet her parents sooner or later, I don't want to stuff it up.

I can't help you there, I know how to make a bad impression in that situation I'm supposedly a pro at that.

 

[Phasmal]

Ok, one for guys:

Do any of you actually spend any amount of time actively trying to decide if you or others are alpha/beta/someothershit?
Because it comes up a lot here, and it's confusing.

 

[DevilWithaHalo]

So basically what I'm saying is anal sex is like being torn apart...

Ouch... my experiences differ dramatically, but that's probably because I'm not attempting to tear someone apart. It's always a shame when someone doesn't have good experiences with something that can be quite enjoyable for both parties. Sorry it didn't work out for you.

I think some people were taking my response a little too seriously. But of course; why would I remain in a relationship with a female that has no intention of fulfilling my desires? It's like I tell women who complain about relationships being centered around sex. I tell them I have plenty of relationships with women that don't involve sex; I call them friendships.

but my point was...what does "fulfill your desires" mean?

I suppose the willingness and ability to give me what I want regarding fantasy. Using the OP example; say I tell my woman at some point that I would very much enjoy her to dress like a school girl, with lolipop accessory, and she tells me it's not going to happen. It means to me that she cares so little about my fantasies; how much does she really care about me at all? The point of a relationship, in my eyes at least, is to find someone that wants to help you obtain and experience everything your heart desires. Is the relationship purely self serving for her? Am I to gave to her every whims while she stands opposed to my own? Fuck that. I could rant a long time on this, but I'll spare you the mess.

Do any of you actually spend any amount of time actively trying to decide if you or others are alpha/beta/someothershit?
Because it comes up a lot here, and it's confusing.

No, it's fairly instantly determinable what a male is. The lengthy part comes from their attempts to challenge said classification. Ironically, those who spend more time trying, further cement the classification they find themselves in.

 

[Combustion Kevin]

Ok, one for guys:

Do any of you actually spend any amount of time actively trying to decide if you or others are alpha/beta/someothershit?
Because it comes up a lot here, and it's confusing.

of course, it's confusing, it's bullshit.
the alpha/beta thing is often used on 4chan, I've seen, maybe some of em migrated here, it's nothing new.

besides, human attraction can not be simplified to the point of pack behaviour, humans are not pack animals.

 

[gazumped]

Using the OP example; say I tell my woman at some point that I would very much enjoy her to dress like a school girl, with lolipop accessory, and she tells me it's not going to happen. It means to me that she cares so little about my fantasies; how much does she really care about me at all? The point of a relationship, in my eyes at least, is to find someone that wants to help you obtain and experience everything your heart desires. Is the relationship purely self serving for her? Am I to gave to her every whims while she stands opposed to my own?

I'm really not sure how much of this is serious now 'cause your first point seemed tongue in cheek but then you seemed like you sort of mean it... but eh, I'll discuss it anyway. The point of a relationship, surely, is about mutual enjoyment. Enjoying each other's company, supporting each other, things like that. In the same way that you need to respect your partner's wishes if they don't want to have sex with you whenever you want ('cause, yehknow, sex without consent is a very not good thing), you need to respect that there are some other sexual things they're not going to want to do. They are not there to be your wish fulfilment machine. And nor you theirs. If you're not comfortable with something, equally, you have every right to turn her down.

I told my ex about a couple of fetishes I had, he flat out refused to do them. I don't blame him, they're kind of gross fetishes. I certainly didn't go "Oh, well, if you don't care enough about me to stick my sweaty toes in your mouth, then clearly you don't care about me at all." 'cause that's emotional blackmail and seriously out of order.

Ladies, when you're on your periods does this mean you have to change towels after every shower or do you dry yourselves veeeeery carefully? Was going to ask my lady friend but I figured, hey, what's this thread for if not for this (I need to wait a bit, though, as I texted only a few days ago inquiring about boob sensitivity during periods).

Gotta change towels a few times a day anyway, especially at the start of the period because it's heaviest then. It should be changed when you get up and before bedtime anyway. If for some reason I can't shower in the morning and have to have one in the middle of the day then yes, new towel, fresh feeling.

EDIT: Oooooh, I thought you meant sanitary towels. XD
Then, no, 'cause straight after you've showered it's clean there. Just pad it dry quickly and it shouldn't drip, it's not like it's a constant flow of menstruation down there.

 

[Syzygy23]

you can eather force her

Pretty sure that's rape.

 

[disgruntledgamer]

Ok, one for guys:

Do any of you actually spend any amount of time actively trying to decide if you or others are alpha/beta/someothershit?
Because it comes up a lot here, and it's confusing.

Between friends "NO". We generally do things to each other that are interchangeable and than there's the Bro code and all that. Alpha/beta doesn't really factor into it much, it's how you Brits put it "If he's your mate, he's your mate"

Between other guys we generally don't like for whatever reason "YES". If we really don't like another guy we're measuring him up wondering if we could take him, wait it'll he's drunk or if it would just be easier to hit him in the back of the head with something when he turns around. When guys really don't like each other or aren't sure of one another, expect us to get in a pissing match.

On these internet forums lol only huge nerds. Nerd rage is just that nerd rage, rule of thumb the tougher you are on forums the bigger wuss you are IRL.

 

[phyrexian]

You asked her for anal, didn't you?

I shouldn't be allowed to drink while reading comments. That was golden.

 

[disgruntledgamer]

This is an inappropriate question but seeing as its a thread for awkward male/female questions I'm going to put it out there:

Guys, what does it feel like to get an erection?

Kinda like what it feels like when someone stimulates your clitoris except on a much larger scale, I think would be the closest comparison. Unless were wearing tight pants, than it's anywhere from discomfort to just painful.

 

[MetalMagpie]

Nope. One of the crappy parts of being gay is that when your partner does something you can't explain, you can't just chalk it up to some generalization of how their entire gender thinks or acts. You just have to...deal with it.

Couldn't you blame it on the subsection of gays your partner belonged too? Twinks, Bears, Cubs, Otters....

I was with you up until otters.

Otters are gay men who eat a lot of fish and are good at swimming. *deadly serious face*

why he left you for the bimbo with the lollipop in a skirt?

Hey, in my defence, it started out with me wanting to know why her lollipop was wearing a skirt... then we got to talking... then the inevitable exchange of cash for sexual favours.

I'm so glad I wasn't the only person who initially read the sentence that way!

I have a question, how do I make a good impression on her parents? Her mum likes me but I have only met her mum at the party me and my girlfriend hooked up at. She is going to ask me to meet her parents sooner or later, I don't want to stuff it up.

Serious advice: Ask your girlfriend! She'll be in the best position to know how you can make the best impression. As a default position, being very careful to be polite is usually a good bet.

But yeah, I got asked if I was circumcised yesterday. That was an awkward question. In the process I found out women know fuck all about cocks.

Be fair here, some women know fuck-all about cocks. And that's generally because they haven't been in close contact with many of them. I'd imagine a good proportion of young guys know very little about the detail of a woman's downstairs.

 

[gazumped]

I was thinking of how to describe what an erection feels like to someone with no penis. Ready?

Let your arm go limp such that the blood rushes to your hand. The rushing feeling is what it feels like when it starts to get hard. You can stop doing that now. For the rest, take an elastic band, wrap it around your finger so that it looks purple when the blood gets trapped there. That's pretty much the bellend. The difference is that your finger will simply feel, but a penis'll give you feeling and sexual sensitivity.

That sound right to the other fellows here?

See, I've asked guys this question before, usually they just say something like "It's AWESOME." But today, my friend, I feel like I have truly learned something, and I thank you for that.

... *massages hand until it feels normal again*

 

[Scipio1770]

Couldn't you blame it on the subsection of gays your partner belonged too? Twinks, Bears, Cubs, Otters....

huh, I didn't know there were subsections, expand please.