Bad guys really do get the most girls.

[Hurray Forums]

People who believe the hardwired "Instincts" of humans get me rofl, I'm sorry, but humans don't have those kind of things in their brain at birth. I don't see an elephant and think "Me want meat, me hungry, me grab spear." I don't want to have sex with every woman I see to have lots of kids while I go slay some beast and bring it home. I'm a vegetarian anyways, what does THAT say about instincts?

Instinct does not completely control human behavior, but it certainly has some effects. Hell, if we didn't have some amount of instinct we would immediately die at birth because no one had taught us how to breath. Even the most "pro-nurture" believers admit that instinct does exist in some form or another, the only real question is how much it exists and what it has an effect on.

 

[RhombusHatesYou]

I always have to come up and talk to them and most of the time they just respond in short replies. Can't read signals if they don't give any.

Heh... Talk? You realise by the time you actually talk to a woman, to her mind you've already had a very comprehensive non-verbal conversation? Women (on average) are wayyyyyyyyyy more adept at reading non-verbal cues (NVCs) and often forget that most men are pretty shit at it. We're lucky if we can pick up even 10% of the NVCs the average woman can... and we're pretty shit at consciously using NVCs, too.

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

I counter with this [http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/niceguys/niceguys.shtml].

Fuck, I'm horribly insecure.

Damn it, my chances are like 10% now.

... you're doing it wrong!

Also, why are they wasting money on this? I understand the need for scientific proof to evolutionary biology facts, but really? There's so much more awesome stuff to be researched, like robots and lasers!

Simple, Scientist=Nerds

Nerds (for the most part)=Nice guy.

Nice Guy= Not getting women.

 

[Ossian]

I always have to come up and talk to them and most of the time they just respond in short replies. Can't read signals if they don't give any.

Heh... Talk? You realise by the time you actually talk to a woman, to her mind you've already had a very comprehensive non-verbal conversation? Women (on average) are wayyyyyyyyyy more adept at reading non-verbal cues (NVCs) and often forget that most men are pretty shit at it. We're lucky if we can pick up even 10% of the NVCs the average woman can... and we're pretty shit at consciously using NVCs, too.

Well I most be freaking bleeding "NVCs" of "hey I'm a loser! keep away from meeeeeeee"

People who believe the hardwired "Instincts" of humans get me rofl, I'm sorry, but humans don't have those kind of things in their brain at birth. I don't see an elephant and think "Me want meat, me hungry, me grab spear." I don't want to have sex with every woman I see to have lots of kids while I go slay some beast and bring it home. I'm a vegetarian anyways, what does THAT say about instincts?

Instinct does not completely control human behavior, but it certainly has some effects. Hell, if we didn't have some amount of instinct we would immediately die at birth because no one had taught us how to breath. Even the most "pro-nurture" believers admit that instinct does exist in some form or another, the only real question is how much it exists and what it has an effect on.

My point was I don't get any urges at all to go kill things for food. Not saying they would control me, I'm saying I don't get them period. I don't wanna club some chick over the head and drag her off. So I don't believe men and women have these feelings towards someone based on alpha maleness and crap.

 

[RhombusHatesYou]

So I don't believe men and women have these feelings towards someone based on alpha maleness and crap.

That's a lot of pop-psych crap anyway.

Alpha status depends on a lot of different criteria depending on the group's values. Alpha Male nerds are a very different proposition from Alpha Male sportos (or jocks if you prefer).

In fact a lot of what gets called 'alpha male' behaviour in pop-psych is usually either beta male (wannabe alpha from inside the group) or interloper (lone male challenging for a place in the group)... which is to say Alpha Males are pretty chill about shit until they get challenged rather than the overly aggressive, attention seeking behaviour of betas and interlopers.

 

[RhombusHatesYou]

Well I most be freaking bleeding "NVCs" of "hey I'm a loser! keep away from meeeeeeee"

There are 3 things a woman can always 'smell' on you: fear/insecurity, desperation and another woman (although they can often go into denial about that last one).

 

[Nickisimo]

Solution to the "nice guy" problem:

1. Stop shaving
2. Wear some dirty clothes that look like they cost about 4 bucks
3. Trade in your functional car for something impractical that requires at least 5 tries to start(and perhaps some jimmying)
4. Go to a mall
5. Go up to every woman between the ages of 18 and 57 and say, "Hey, you don't look too ugly. Wanna mash junk?"
6. If she says yes, great, if not, go back to step 5.

 

[Uncreation]

First of, i will say, that i'm not trying to single you out or start a flame war, Elle-Jai, nor do i have anything against you. I just find most of your posts in this thread, very interesting. (Besides, i don't necessarily dissagree with the things you say.)

As has been said, you date bad guys, you sleep with bad guys, you do not marry them. Because (to paraphrase Greg Behrendt) "Bad boys are just that: BAD for you."

I keep reading this here, in various forms, and i keep asking myself why do people repeat this. I am a guy, and i would call myself a nice guy, though i'm not what some people view as a "nice guy". This DOES NOT make me feel better. At all! I see this to mean: "bad guys" get all the fun and none of the responsibility while "nice guys" get all of the responsibility and almost none of the fun.
Whenever i see this, i interpret it to mean: "don't worry dear, in a few years, after i'm done having my fun, and am starting to age (maybe start losing my looks, etc.) and think about settling down, i'll come back to you. And we can get married, and have kids, and raise them, and be buried under bills and worries, and spend our free time sleeping in order to rest from the 11 jobs we have in order to support the family." Ok, so mariage is not just that, but i think my point can be understood.

One problem here guys: It has been exhaustively researched, and the majority of males still prefer to do the asking. It has something to do with that driving desire to hunt that was orignally hardwired into the male species... Apparently, anyway. Don't blame me for the phrase, I'm paraphrasing, not making it up as I go along (although it tempted me).

Maybe we should instigate a badge system where guys who prefer girls to do the asking out have a badge that says so. It would save confusion.

I am not the majority of males. And i think there are plenty of guys who are not in the majority. I feel almost the exact opposite. There are few things i hate more than asking a girl out. I would be delighted if one asked me. Regardless if i accepted or not, i would be very gratefull and impressed.

Also, you have no idea how much i would go for the whole badge thing. It would be like a dream come true. And it would indeed save confusion. But, i don't think something like this will happen. (One can dream though. )

Men get rejected too, but they're expected to get back on the horse and keep trying, same thing should apply to women.

We have only about 1,000 ways we demonstrate interest. Most male/female contact is actually initiated by the woman, if only the man learns a few of the signals she sends, he'll know who is receptive. The men who seem to score all the chicks are reading the neon signs, either consciously or subconsciously, that's she's screaming at him. We're not doing ALL the bloody work here, we do most of it as is!

You know, i have heard about this whole thing with women sending signals to show interest. Personally, i hate it just as much as you hate the whole "friends thing". I think it should go die in a fire.
I mean... signals? Seriously? What, are you kidding me? I am not trying to take of from an aircraft carrier or something. Forget the stupid signals, we have developed speach for a reason. As long as you are not mute, you don't need to use "signals", you can just use words. To me, signals = 0. So you can stand there all night sending "signals". How the hell should i know you like? Just because you look at me? Maybe you're looking at someone or something besides or behind me. So what if you smile? I smile to people to, both men and women. Does not mean i want to date them. So what if you ask me something or hang around me? Again, i do those things with people i don't care about dating. Etc...
You would not believe how much i hate non-verbal comunication. Partly because i am not good at it, true. But i don't see the point anyway. Why do we need it? I just think it's stupid and unnecessary.

Ok, so, i'll stop my ranting here for now. Hope i didn't offend you or anything. Even if i seemed like i was arguing at some points, that was not my intention.