Bad guys really do get the most girls.

[Griffolion]

I can think of a few guys who put themselves out to be fairly insecure and stuff but actually use this facade as a front to be manipulative. These are called predators.

I don't know what i am, confident, bad ass or nice. I'm just me, and from time to time it works with girls.

Theres a funny story my friend once told me about a guy she knows. You could have called him a bit of a badass, had slept with loads of girls, then he found out he had an STI and suddenly became a no go area to any girl he came into contact with. Now badasses who don't get the girl are generally called attention seeking tosspots because they rouse the trouble of the police, cause vandalism and cause anarchy for what, perhaps little reward save the 'respect' of their pathetic friends.

Heres my view on all you guys who out yourself as one of these labels. If you say you're an insecure guy who gets no'one, then that will become a self fulfilling prophecy. I'm not saying you repeat to yourself over and over 'im confident, im confident' but just be engaging with the opposite sex next time round, be interested and as interesting as you can put yourself out to be. Don't try to have an agenda or a set goal of what you want to get out of the encounter, just go with the flow, enjoy the interaction.

This is half our trouble, really this thread shouldn't even exist because we're all trying to quantify and pigeon hole all these facts about attraction and dating when its one of the most fluid concepts going. Try letting go of the rules and facades you're told to put on and let someone like you for you.

Now go make me a sandwich woman.

 

[HardkorSB]

"Bad" and "nice" are just stereotypes.
We like to base our opinions on stereotypes because it makes life easier to understand and we don't have to actually know much about anything.
The so called "nice guys" aren't usually that nice at all.
They're nice ACCORDING TO THEMSELVES.
If you're trying to be nice then you're not nice, you're just pretending.
If being kind and understanding to others is just a part of who you are then it will show and others will see that (including the girls).
The "bad boys" are labeled that way because they stick out of the croud, they are nonconformists to a certain degree.
A nonconformist is more likely going to accept people for who they are.
A nonconformists are mor often victims of prejudice because of their differences, therfore it is less likely that they are prejudous themselves.
Most girls act perfect not because they want to but because that looks good to others.
They don't want to look odd because then less people will accept them and less acceptance means less opportunities in life.
I girls could be slobs and assholes all the time and get away with it, most of them would.
Some guys (usually the ones labeled as "nice") have something that is reffered to as the virgin/whore complex.
They see girls in terms of pure and impure.
That is very restricting and noone wants to be restricted in a relationship.
The more free you are in a relationship, the longer it will last.
Nonconformists usually don't expect their partners to be perfect.
Sure, they have certain traits that they find more appealing than others but they also tend to choose partners who already display some form of these traits.
In short, they look for things they like.
"Nice guys" are often people with either no concrete desires or unrealistic ones.
"Bad boys" also have a general idea of who they want to be while "nice guys" have the tendency to change according to what they think others expect from them (and although they themselves see that as a good thing, it might seem as not being sincere to others).
If you know who you are or who you want to be, it's more likely that you are more confindent in what you think, say and do and that you will succeed in life.

These are just a few reasons why (in my opinion) "bad boys" get most girls.
If any girls would like to comment and confirm/deny the things I wrote, it would be helpful for my future relationships.

 

[Woodsey]

I think in this whole debate what people think of as "nice guys" (especially when people describe themselves as that, which is cringe worthy) are what others call "pussies".

I counter with this [http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/niceguys/niceguys.shtml].

And there you go.

 

[Elle-Jai]

As has been said, you date bad guys, you sleep with bad guys, you do not marry them. Because (to paraphrase Greg Behrendt) "Bad boys are just that: BAD for you."

So basically, nice guys get used cars.
Assholes get next year's model.

Hang on, did you just compare me women to used cars?!

 

[Elle-Jai]

To the sweet nerdy guys of the world, I cry: "Just ask me out already! It won't kill you if I say no!"

You could just ask them yourself instead of waiting for them to ask. I mean, it's a bit hypocritical to say they should have the courage to go out on a limb when you won't take the same risk.

Agreed. In this present age where things are (on the surface) starting to become more equal between the sexes, the burden of the acceptance/rejection game still seems very much exclusive to males, with a few exceptions. It might not really be my problem per se, but that is one of many things about relationships that just gets on my nerves.

Mhm, with all the equality movements happening these days it irritates me a little that males are still expected to be the one to ask them out, especially when some women actually get offended when said males act in a gentlemanly fashion. (Opening/holding doors as well as a multitude of other examples I can't be bothered giving, I believe it has been covered in another thread)

One problem here guys: It has been exhaustively researched, and the majority of males still prefer to do the asking. It has something to do with that driving desire to hunt that was orignally hardwired into the male species... Apparently, anyway. Don't blame me for the phrase, I'm paraphrasing, not making it up as I go along (although it tempted me).

Maybe we should instigate a badge system where guys who prefer girls to do the asking out have a badge that says so. It would save confusion.

 

[Griffolion]

As has been said, you date bad guys, you sleep with bad guys, you do not marry them. Because (to paraphrase Greg Behrendt) "Bad boys are just that: BAD for you."

So basically, nice guys get used cars.
Assholes get next year's model.

Hang on, did you just compare me women to used cars?!

I don't think he compared at all, he used a car analogy in order to illustrate his point which is the better for it.

 

[WestMountain]

They like them because they are "alphamales" that can protect them and so on, it's just in their instincts.

 

[Elle-Jai]

As has been said, you date bad guys, you sleep with bad guys, you do not marry them. Because (to paraphrase Greg Behrendt) "Bad boys are just that: BAD for you."

So basically, nice guys get used cars.
Assholes get next year's model.

Hang on, did you just compare me women to used cars?!

I don't think he compared at all, he used a car analogy in order to illustrate his point which is the better for it.

This is clearly a guy thing. Reminds me of a book I read recently where three guys are standing there comparing women to Harley's, awesome cars, and awesome boats according to their vehicular preferences...

 

[Griffolion]

They like them because they are "alphamales" that can protect them and so on, it's just in their instincts.

Depends on what you mean by protect.

As has been mentioned previously in this thread, alpha male bad asses tend to be narcicistic and out for themselves. Not really the type to express a protective quality then...

Still my degree in psychology was down the neurological route, not social so all the fun fluffy pop psych facts are missed on me.

 

[Griffolion]

As has been said, you date bad guys, you sleep with bad guys, you do not marry them. Because (to paraphrase Greg Behrendt) "Bad boys are just that: BAD for you."

So basically, nice guys get used cars.
Assholes get next year's model.

Hang on, did you just compare me women to used cars?!

I don't think he compared at all, he used a car analogy in order to illustrate his point which is the better for it.

This is clearly a guy thing. Reminds me of a book I read recently where three guys are standing there comparing women to Harley's, awesome cars, and awesome boats according to their vehicular preferences...

The use of an analogy in no way has a bearing on making a comparison between women and mechanical constructs. This reaction is almost completely off base.

If the OP of that analogy was to say 'so women who go for badasses are used cars that nice guys get later on' or something, then i'd agree with you.

But the phrasing honestly doesn't suggest that if you look past the surface of what he said.

 

[Elle-Jai]

The use of an analogy in no way has a bearing on making a comparison between women and mechanical constructs. This reaction is almost completely off base.

If the OP of that analogy was to say 'so women who go for badasses are used cars that nice guys get later on' or something, then i'd agree with you.

But the phrasing honestly doesn't suggest that if you look past the surface of what he said.

Humour, dear one. It's what I was ORIGINALLY using. If I was offended I would have used more than one line, no strikethrough, and I wouldn't be adding in quotes from books. I understood the analogy, I just didn't have to agree with the choice

Also will not be replying again coz of the whole prohibition on "flame wars" in the forums thing.

 

[Griffolion]

The use of an analogy in no way has a bearing on making a comparison between women and mechanical constructs. This reaction is almost completely off base.

If the OP of that analogy was to say 'so women who go for badasses are used cars that nice guys get later on' or something, then i'd agree with you.

But the phrasing honestly doesn't suggest that if you look past the surface of what he said.

Humour, dear one. It's what I was ORIGINALLY using. If I was offended I would have used more than one line, no strikethrough, and I wouldn't be adding in quotes from books. I understood the analogy, I just didn't have to agree with the choice

Also will not be replying again coz of the whole prohibition on "flame wars" in the forums thing.

My bad, hard to tell tone through text.

The banhammer is stern but fair and is generally wielded by a 1920's "strong man". You know the one, in the leotard and mustache.

 

[Azure Sky]

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One problem here guys: It has been exhaustively researched, and the majority of males still prefer to do the asking. It has something to do with that driving desire to hunt that was orignally hardwired into the male species... Apparently, anyway. Don't blame me for the phrase, I'm paraphrasing, not making it up as I go along (although it tempted me).

Maybe we should instigate a badge system where guys who prefer girls to do the asking out have a badge that says so. It would save confusion.

All that is is an insecurity to having their egos bruised, nothing more, nothing less.
As for the Badges, while hilarious, it probably wouldn't work. =(

 

[ShotgunShaman]

Bad guys get more girls, but nice guys have *actual* relationships.

 

[Pariah87]

At an instinctual level, men look for the most partners, women look for the "best" partners.

In days long past, males would look for healthy women who could produce the most children likely to survive, women looked for fit, healthy hunters who could provide for her and the child whilst she was busy raising them. You didn't get to be an awesome supporter/food gatherer if you shrank away from the Mammoth coming towards you or not try and fend off predators who were attacking your brood.

Today, survival needs have changed, yet to a large degree the same needs are hardwired in. I'm generalising yes, but most women still feel drawn to the Alphas, the richest, the strongest (You don't get to be those things without confidence and self belief.)

That doesn't automatically make all guys like that complete dicks, some are still decent.

"Nice Guys", and I'll include myself in this catagory, generally do not show the dominance and confidence to be appealing, we have very little to offer women that causes a spark in the Id. It's unlikely we'll be good providers due to our insecurities stopping us going out and taking what we want from life, unlikely to be good protectors due to a lack of self belief. How many nice guys either assume defeat or accept it as a given before attempting anything challenging?

Unfortunately, back in the day, we'd have died off long before this became a problem. We'd have been eaten, or starved or beaten up by the stronger members of the pack/tribe/troop. Today we get to live long lives and we notice that we're just not up to standard.

We, as "nice guys" can't get pissed off at this, we're basically getting annoyed at the natural order of things. The only thing we can do is better ourselves and claw our way up the food chain, or else we will end up simply being the "settle for" option.

Of course this all my own personal belief and it's no wonder I'm single, but yeah, makes perfect sense to me.

 

[Seraph777]

Analogy WIN

 

[quiet_samurai]

To the sweet nerdy guys of the world, I cry: "Just ask me out already! It won't kill you if I say no!"

You could just ask them yourself instead of waiting for them to ask. I mean, it's a bit hypocritical to say they should have the courage to go out on a limb when you won't take the same risk.

Agreed. In this present age where things are (on the surface) starting to become more equal between the sexes, the burden of the acceptance/rejection game still seems very much exclusive to males, with a few exceptions. It might not really be my problem per se, but that is one of many things about relationships that just gets on my nerves.

Mhm, with all the equality movements happening these days it irritates me a little that males are still expected to be the one to ask them out, especially when some women actually get offended when said males act in a gentlemanly fashion. (Opening/holding doors as well as a multitude of other examples I can't be bothered giving, I believe it has been covered in another thread)

One problem here guys: It has been exhaustively researched, and the majority of males still prefer to do the asking. It has something to do with that driving desire to hunt that was orignally hardwired into the male species... Apparently, anyway. Don't blame me for the phrase, I'm paraphrasing, not making it up as I go along (although it tempted me).

Maybe we should instigate a badge system where guys who prefer girls to do the asking out have a badge that says so. It would save confusion.

It's also a fact that most women, especially attractive ones, recieve a LOT more attention from men the most men do from women. Most women have the luxury of knowing that anytime they could go out and find a date/boyfriend/lover with minimal work put into it. So because of this a guy who takes the initiative and goes after her, instead of waiting amongst the miasma of boring normal jerkoff soup she's used to interacting with every day, will stand out in her mind. He has the confidence to shine the light on himself and seperate himself from his fellow fellows. In my experience, most women react much more positively to the guy who stands out amongst the rest.