Bad Jokes?
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Man walks into a bar. Ow. Man walks into a funk bar. Owwww (michael jackson style - its all about the noise)
Or
Three blondes walk into a building, You would've thought one of them would've seen it.
Thankyou, Thankyou, Im here till thursday. Try the fish.
Or
Three blondes walk into a building, You would've thought one of them would've seen it.
Thankyou, Thankyou, Im here till thursday. Try the fish.
Two muffins are sitting in an oven, one says "Is it hot in here to you?" and the other responds, "HOLY SHIT! A TALKING MUFFIN!"
My all-time favorite joke.
My all-time favorite joke.
I always feel embarrassed when i don't get a joke. But i have to know....Valate said:
OT: probably...
"do you know what the best contraceptive for old people is? Nudity." - Fallout 3
Well, a while back, I was at a party. Everyone but me got constipated at the same time from eating cabbage soup. While they were lined up for the bathroom I just started air-humping then saying "This is why you don't eat cabbage soup."grimsprice said:
Termite walks into a bar asks the guy working there is the bar tender here.
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Blind guys walking with his seeing-eye-dog. comes to a busy street.
Dog keeps wlking. Blind guy almost get hit.
At the other side of the street the Blind guy starts patting the dog.
A woman that saw what happened ask why he's patting the dog because he was almost killed.
Blind guy says "I'm not patting him. I'm trying to find his ass, so I can kick it"
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What weighs 12 Oz. and can kill you?
A Sparrow with a sniper rifle.
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Blind guys walking with his seeing-eye-dog. comes to a busy street.
Dog keeps wlking. Blind guy almost get hit.
At the other side of the street the Blind guy starts patting the dog.
A woman that saw what happened ask why he's patting the dog because he was almost killed.
Blind guy says "I'm not patting him. I'm trying to find his ass, so I can kick it"
-
What weighs 12 Oz. and can kill you?
A Sparrow with a sniper rifle.
We had already eaten all the other food and they were still hungry and hunted for leftovers.grimsprice said:
So you all had the munchies.... wait. Ok, that explains the air humping. I'm fallowing ya now.Valate said:
Its from the old 1966 Batman Movie starring Adam West.Insanum said:
One of Riddler's.....riddles.
Theres a couple more in it. All equally Bad/Brilliant.
Eh, my one is kind of long. You have to hear this with the accent, but I'll try to type it.
A Scottish bloke is traveling around Canada, trading stories at a lodge, but he's had a little too much to drink, so the owner of the lodge helps him up the stairs to get him to his room. The Scotsman can't help but notice that the stairs are all lined with hunting trophies, and he promptly starts to laugh.
"What's so funny?" asks the Canadian.
"Ya call tha' a troophy?" the Scottish bloke laughs, pointing to a fish mounted on the wall. "Ah, laddie, ya could ge' somethin' twice tha' size oot a' the loch where ah live! Yoo'd be laughed oot a' my village if tha's all ya can catch!"
The Canadian decides to ignore him, realising that he's just drunk, and helps him further up the stairs. Suddenly, the Scottish guy starts laughing again, this time in tears, he's laughing so hard. "What is it now?" asks the lodge owner.
"A wee li'l rabbit?" the Scotsman laughs, pointing to the fur mounted on the wall. "Yer kiddin', right? Who caught tha'? Yer daughter?"
Again, the Canadian eyes him, starting to get annoyed, but he continues on, electing not to respond. They make it up to the next floor, when, suddenly, the Scotsman stops dead in his tracks. He looks up, and sees this giant head mounted on the wall, with antlers as big as his arms coming out of the sides of its skull.
"Wha's tha'?" he asks, more than a little intimidated by the monster.
Feeling rather smug that he's managed to shut this Scotsman up, the lodge owner proudly replies, "That is a Canadian moose."
The Scotsman stares at him in disbelief, wide-eyed. "Bullshit." He mutters, shaking his head, but the Canadian doesn't say a word, just smirking. The Scottish bloke scratches his head in amazement, and says, "Laddie, if that's a moose, then I'd hate ta see yer cats."
Badum tish.
A Scottish bloke is traveling around Canada, trading stories at a lodge, but he's had a little too much to drink, so the owner of the lodge helps him up the stairs to get him to his room. The Scotsman can't help but notice that the stairs are all lined with hunting trophies, and he promptly starts to laugh.
"What's so funny?" asks the Canadian.
"Ya call tha' a troophy?" the Scottish bloke laughs, pointing to a fish mounted on the wall. "Ah, laddie, ya could ge' somethin' twice tha' size oot a' the loch where ah live! Yoo'd be laughed oot a' my village if tha's all ya can catch!"
The Canadian decides to ignore him, realising that he's just drunk, and helps him further up the stairs. Suddenly, the Scottish guy starts laughing again, this time in tears, he's laughing so hard. "What is it now?" asks the lodge owner.
"A wee li'l rabbit?" the Scotsman laughs, pointing to the fur mounted on the wall. "Yer kiddin', right? Who caught tha'? Yer daughter?"
Again, the Canadian eyes him, starting to get annoyed, but he continues on, electing not to respond. They make it up to the next floor, when, suddenly, the Scotsman stops dead in his tracks. He looks up, and sees this giant head mounted on the wall, with antlers as big as his arms coming out of the sides of its skull.
"Wha's tha'?" he asks, more than a little intimidated by the monster.
Feeling rather smug that he's managed to shut this Scotsman up, the lodge owner proudly replies, "That is a Canadian moose."
The Scotsman stares at him in disbelief, wide-eyed. "Bullshit." He mutters, shaking his head, but the Canadian doesn't say a word, just smirking. The Scottish bloke scratches his head in amazement, and says, "Laddie, if that's a moose, then I'd hate ta see yer cats."
Badum tish.
Once there was an inflatable boy, who went to inflatable school with inflatable teachers and inflatable lockers. He got bored one day and went and nuts with a pin. The headmaster called him to his office and said "Son, youv'e let me down, youve let yourself down and youve let the whole school down"...
Yeah...
Yeah...