Bad Pun O Rama!

[SimuLord]

You hear that Pac-Man's a Liverpool supporter? His favorite song is "You'll Never Waka Lone".

What's Rorschach's favorite musical group? The Ink Spots.

For Discussion: Torture your fellow Escapists with the worst puns you can think of! Crush the very souls of those who hate such wordplay!

 

[Eumersian]

Moe's art will be on display at the housewarming party. Frederic is chopin' up some onions for the dip, Johann will be back with the veggies and chips. Belá was going to go, but he stopped at the bar, talked it up with some local girls, and some other things instead. Ludwig got kicked out because he left the beets in the oven, and Franz was hidin' from the crowd, making a list (double whammy) of stuff he should go get before the party really starts up.

 

[Irony's Acolyte]

That whole Rorshach's band joke didn't really seem like a pun to me...

I can't think of any good ones off the top of my head except for the "That's so punny" one. I'm more of a context sensitive type of joker. I can't just spout off jokes from memory, I make 'em up as I go.

 

[SimuLord]

Moe's art will be on display at the housewarming party. Frederic is chopin' up some onions for the dip, Johann will be back with the veggies and chips. Belá was going to go, but he stopped at the bar, talked it up with some local girls, and some other things instead. Ludwig got kicked out because he left the beets in the oven, and Franz was hidin' from the crowd, making a list (double whammy) of stuff he should go get before the party really starts up.

That entire bit is just a symphony of groaners.

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

Why did the orange go to the doctor? he wasn't peeling well.

HA!

 

[WickedBoy6]

"Today, well-known mob hitman Johnny Two-Shoes admitted that he was once hired to kill a cow in a rice field using only two small porcelain figurines. Police reports indicate that this is the only known incident of a Knick-Knack Patty Whack."

Favorite Colin Mochrie quote ever.

 

[SimuLord]

"Today, well-known mob hitman Johnny Two-Shoes admitted that he was once hired to kill a cow in a rice field using only two small porcelain figurines. Police reports indicate that this is the only known incident of a Knick-Knack Paddy Whack."

Favorite Colin Mochrie one.

I'm partial to this Weird Newscasters myself.

 

[Luftwaffles]

Im gonna sign up for a research internship in an ice cream company. Wont that be cool *wink*

What??? No???? Fine....

Whats brown and sticky.
A stick.

 

[Snarky Username]

Guys, guys, just stop it.

I can't handle this PUNnishment.

 

[gostchiken]

The creator of this thread should be impaled on PUNji stakes.

 

[-=Spy=-]

Here's one I made up.

What did the newspaper editor say at the bearded lady's funeral?

Spoiler

Oh ***** you hairy! (Obituary!)

 

[SimuLord]

The creator of this thread should be impaled on PUNji stakes.

It's fourth down, I have to fall back and PUNt.

 

[Instant K4rma]

Who was the roundest knight at the Round Table? Sir Cumference!

What do you get when you throw a hand grenade into a French kitchen? Linoleum Blownapart.

 

[Dr.Susse]

I make up daily puns on twitter so here's a few. *Clears throught*

Spoiler: WARNING WALL O' PUNS

I was told to bottle up my fears. But now I just have a bottle of spiders and I'm even more afraid.

I was arrested for stealing something from a photo developer. I said I was framed

I gave a man with no legs some shoes. He couldn't stand them.

Q:What's a food you can't enjoy in the future? A: Pasta.

My favourite historical song you ask? Napoleon bona parts 1 and 2.

For my birthday dad threw an anvil at me. I was crushed!

People say I'm not bright, so I lit myself on fire. Who's bright now!

The Cannibals are probably the most friendly tribe, they just love to meat new people.

My friend Ku loves poetry. You can always cheer him up with a Hi Ku.

I hate playing racing games! They always crash on me.

I was walking through a park today and a man playing baseball shouted DUCK! I tried to dodge but still fell in the pond.

I got a new dog but I couldn't get it to heal so I named him Herpes.

Paper people aren't good in the workplace because they fold under pressure.

LimeWire, Where being a fruity pirate didn't just mean that you were in a Gilbert and Sullivan play.

 

[gostchiken]

A woman walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre, so he gave it to her.

 

[Eumersian]

A woman walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre, so he gave it to her.

Julius Caesar walks into a bar and says "I'll have a martinus." The bartender says "Don't you mean a martini?" So Caesar says "Hey, if I wanted two I would have said so!"

Half-Latin, half-pun, half-bar joke.

 

[unoleian]

The time clock at work is maddening. We have a rather on-again, off-again relationship.

 

[MarcFirewing]

This came off the top of my head;

Why is Halo laughed at by people who don't like the game?

Cause it was made by PUNgie.