Barbarian

[lenin_117]

You need a battle axe.

And a a clingy, revealing outfit made of fur.

Sort of a male.... Don't think I should have anything clingy

Only sort of a male? I recommend choosing a gender and sticking with it, barbarians don't sit on the fence when it comes to that.

 

[Oneirius]

Train until you can get into Rage/1 per day. Then you are level one.

 

[effilctar]

Forge your ass some fine weaponry, preferrably a two-handed weapon which you insist on wielding with just one hand. Get your body as toned and muscly as humanly possible whilst maintaining a diet of red meat and mead. keep your hair messy, spill as much beer into your now epic beard as possible and use the words "Jaergen-Schmoergen", "Flargerhirdern" and "hurdy-gurdy" as frequently as possible.

 

[The Almighty Aardvark]

You need a character sheet, [http://jetfuel.metalbat.com/blah/D&D%20Character%20Sheet.png] the players handbook and a Game Master... [http://cdn-viper.demandvideo.com/media/e2217dec-35e6-48e7-8e28-19e6a7ee23ed/jpeg/cd35c83b-c3b8-4fde-b0ab-6f8bf6e9b750_2.jpg]

...

Oh, you meant for 'real?'

A sword, fur loincloth and a bad attitude.

I second the loincloth. Also it wouldn't hurt to aqquire the ability to dodge things uncannily.

 

[Dommyboy]

You need to save the world from Baal and the corruption of the World Stone.

 

[Soxafloppin]

Sell your house and buy a cave.

 

[Uncreative]

I like the fact that nobody here has batted an eyelid.

Coincidently you need a war cry. Something like BLOOOOOOD!!!! as opposed to TAX REFOOOOORM!!!!!!

Remember that.

usually, I just scream obscenities and say stuff like "I SHALL CROSS YOUR THROAT WITH A SINGLE HAND AND LIVE IN YOUR CARCASS!", but now that you mention it, I do need a battlecry, any suggestions?

Go with ALLIMBALEEE.

Then you can have small humans (Note: May be monkeys) as your fans.

 

[Bobular]

Actual battle skill...

He doesn't need skill. Demi-god Strength and a massive weapon will work fine on its own, I personally like hammers, but you'll need a sharp sword at some point to collect skulls (hammers will just leave you with skull chunks, and thats no good).

 

[Beartrucci]

You used a kid as a weapon to attack another kid? Hahahahahahaha, that made my day.

 

[Cowabungaa]

Be like this guy:

It also recites to recite this in your head, make it your mantra:
"Conan, what is best in life?" "To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of their women."

 

[TheSeventhLoneWolf]

A random axe of kindness. A fur loincloth. Conan.

 

[teisjm]

Eat raw meat, and for what it's worth, grow a huge beard, which you dont wash, as fast as possible.

 

[HandfulofWolf]

You will most definitely need a booming laughter followed by the ability to question your opponents masculinity. A mighty stomp will go a long way, as well as a lack of scruples.

 

[snakevin]

Train until you can get into Rage/1 per day. Then you are level one.

Already able to!

 

[Oneirius]

Train until you can get into Rage/1 per day. Then you are level one.

Already able to!

What about rolling a d12 for HP?

 

[TheRundownRabbit]

Rape and pillage, take an example from the Nordic Vikings

 

[benylor]

You may need a new name. Michael or Terry or Jim won't cut it any more, you want something wild and savage, like Phlagan. To go with it, you'll also need a quick description - enough to tell anyone anything they need to know about you. This will be personal to you, but something like The Feared, The Devourer, The Gates of Hell, or The Untamed would probably be suitable.

Also, you must slay all your own food. Don't bother cooking it, you need to consume the noble spirit of the beast. Ideally, the beast should still be alive and struggling when you start tearing flesh off with your teeth. Consume the entire animal.

Remember, if the sight of blood does not send you into a murderous frenzy, then you're doing it wrong.

 

[snakevin]

Guys, I am thinking more along the line of a chaotic good, maybe evil barbarian, not something like the vikings