Beards. Do you have one? Why/Why not?

[linchowlewy]

If I grew a beard, it would not be hair, but thin red wires of METAL extruded from my face. A special METAL, not found anywhere else in the universe known as Brutallium. Single strands of Brutallium can be stretched and woven together to form the most awesome instrument strings ever conceived. From Brutallium pianos to Brutallium electric violins, everything becomes EXPONENTIALLY more METAL with the addition of these strings.

In fact, the Brutallium which flows through my veins is so potent that scientists are trying to find a way to form bombs which could possibly stabilise and contain it long enough to be dropped, and failing that engines which could contain the sheer POWARRRRR that it has as a fuel. Rocket engines ain't got shit on this.

As it stands I need special razors forged from pure Awesome to shave. And boy, they get pricey when the music industry gets cold feet and decides that supporting my habits is a risky investment, even though I do power the entire METAL industry.

i feel so stupid for believing this up to the second paragraph
OT: no i dont im 15 haven't started shaving. why? because once i do im gonna be too damn lazy to do it again... also i see no need for it yet

Actually thats a real condition, don't make fun of her for it. It severely reduces her chances of getting picked up in pubs.

Brutallium is an exceptionally rare metal alloy. The only scientific evidence of its existence are a sample held in trust by the Royal Society in London and a rumoured full strand upon which private US companies are experimenting to exploit its weapon potential.

Brutallium can only be made organically. A rare retrovirus (MTB-beta) occasionally infects individuals, taking up residence in bone marrow and hair follicles. In the marrow it causes and exponential increase of iron concentration outside of the Haemoglobin proteins. Metal ions consumed by the host are also incorporated until the specific combination of metals is achieved. The resulting alloy forms beads along the inner rim of the host erythrocytes. In hair follicles the same process occurs, but the alloy stretches to cover every cell in thin rib-like structures which interlock in long chains.

When removed from the organism and the organic surrounds stripped away Brutallium becomes unstable and is known to spontaneously combust. It has the highest molar combustion energy yield of any substance known.

Rumours in underground music demographics suggest that the hair strengthened by Brutallium has been used by certain musicians to form better instrument strings. The most popular are metal-core guitar strings used by Black Metal artists. One individual is rumoured to have fashioned a box out of Brutallium cloth to protect his crotch when in particularly dangerous mosh pits.

Noted cases of MTB-beta infection:
Chuck Norris
Abraham Lincoln
Angela Gossow

 

[BourneGamer]

I've had a goatee since the middle of high school. I keep it manily because I've never felt the need to shave it off.

 

[Blanks]

Right now i actually do have a beard, i'm quite lazy when it comes to shaving so until i finally decide to shave i will continue to have a beard...been about a month methinks...

I've looked at all the beard pics, but none come close to the awesome epic beard of Lar Desouza

It even has it's own facebook page! that's how epic it is
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Lar-Desouzas-Beard/281528579831

 

[dietpeachsnapple]

My beard multiplies my irishness by a factor of 1.9

That is enough for me.

(goatee, specifically)

 

[Ultrajoe]

I can grow a sort of patchy mess on my face. I have never let it live long enough to pokevolve into a Beard, mainly because it becomes annoying before any possible beard potential can manifest.

But really. When you have this hat, why do you need a beard? Am I right? I'm right.

 

[Willwillwritehiswill]

I did have a beard for a while. Too much maintenance. Plus there's a terrible bit in between being clean shaven and bearded where you just look like a vagrant.

 

[sarahbellum]

Nope, girl.

Though I think the facial hair depends on the dude. If you've got that sparsely growing facial hair that makes it look like random patches of moss are on your face, pass. Goatees or even manly viking bears can look awesome on the right guy.

 

[Xerosch]

Got one since I was 19. Now I'm almost 31 and shaved it a few month ago. I found out that I look like 22 when it's gone. So I let it grow again.

 

[Ziadaine_v1legacy]

nope, I am trying to grow a goatee/Soul Patch though, but blasted genetics just keep getting in the way.

 

[rb26dett]

Have had a beard since I was 18, trimming it regulary ofcourse, but never shaving it off completely. I have it cause I can, simple as that

 

[ScarletRider]

I think that's the first time I've ever heard of someone giving up their beard for Lent. Also, I'm jealous because mine grows much slower than yours. I keep my neck and upper cheeks neatly trimmed though. Beards look terrible if you don't take care of them.

I don't have a job at the moment, hence no money to indulge in my normal vices, so I figured I may as well sacrifice some of my vanity in penance. I love having a beard, but I also like shaving, so no neck beards for me. Anyone here use a straight razor? I've always wanted to try it, but can never find one.

 

[NLS]

I don't like going around with a half-grown beard. So while I was away in south america for 4 months, I decided to see how much I could grow. The result wasn't that impressive though :\
No "proper" beard for me yet

 

[Nocta-Aeterna]

I do not, because my partially asian heritage genetically prevents me from growing alot of facial hair. There is some hair growing on my upper lip though; with some patience, I might be able to grow a Fu Manchu moustache.

 

[WolfThomas]

No not at the moment, though I can grow quite a manly beard at will. Why not you ask?

Well firstly I learn at a hospital most day, I try to go out of my way to look "professional" because it makes interaction with patients easier with patients (most assume you're actually a doctor), so I'd need a period of a few weeks to get my beard to a well groomed standard.

Secondly I find I look older with a beard, but I look more mature with a clean shaven look. I've never been accused of "smoking cones" by a cop while clean shaven, which my beard as received.

Thirdly, I love shaving, I do it most nights, hot blade and shaving cream and allows me to get some critical thinking. Also if I've had a busy day or a hard night drinking it makes me feel more fresh.

 

[Lost In The Void]

Nope, takes to long to grow anything worth keeping and it usually comes out patchy, so each day the stubble and I engage in a battle of strength, to keep my face clean shaven. Plus nothing feels better than rubbing your fresh shaven face, its just an awesome feeling. Plus I look better without one anyway.

 

[NUMAN01D]

Yes. If I'm clean shaved, I look very, VERY young. Not boyish good looks, more like stay-away-that-boy-is-12 looks. And I don't have a very well defined jawline, so I shave my neck up to my jaw.

In short, it gives my face definition, and makes me look older and more rugged. I once got advice from the girls at work I should try going clean shaved and took the plunge, next day they were like "Hmm, yeah, definitely shouldn't have shaved"

 

[ScarletRider]

I do not, because my partially asian heritage genetically prevents me from growing alot of facial hair. There is some hair growing on my upper lip though; with some patience, I might be able to grow a Fu Manchu moustache.

http://waxinandmilkin.com/post/181648054/epic-beards-toshiro-mifune

^The dude was most instrumental in my beard growing decision.

 

[bismarck55]

YES! My favourite topic! Beards FTW, especially wild, unkempt hobo-beards, those are the best. I feel naked, vulnerable and cold without one. All men should grow beards!

*Regains composure* Ahem, sorry about that outburst, I'll uh... see myself out...