I just watched a movie I found while digging around through various film review sites, entitled In My Skin. That's the English translation, anyway. It's about a woman's changing views of her own body after she falls onto some metal, cutting and scarring her leg. The event triggers or awakens in her a strange sort of detachment from her body. She begins noticing a fascination forming with her flesh and form, the textures, tastes, scents and curves all intrigue her, as if her body is an object she's observing from the outside.
Over the course of the movie her mental state deteriorates and her interest turns into an obsession and an insatiable appetite to explore every inch of her skin. She begins cutting and tearing at her legs and arms in private, going so far as to taste and consume pieces she removes. She hides the scars from her boyfriend and fakes a car accident to conceal the truth when her latest exploration with a knife leaves her covered in blood and jagged gouges. She even begins to see limbs detached from her, like alien items that endlessly intrigue her. Through it all she feels no pain, only a lust and hunger. It's almost sexual in its driving urge and the release is intensely emotional, almost orgasmic for her.
Anyway, long story short, I found the film highly erotic. The actual mutilation wasn't the erotic part, mind. While that had its moments and she certainly committed a lot of lust to the role, it was the aftermath of the cutting and scratching I found so interesting. The way her legs and arms looked after attacking them just seemed... palpable. It's hard to describe. But the scars and blood made her look rather sexy. I've mentioned before in a comment or two that bruised legs (especially knees) and scarred arms on women are for some reason very pretty in my eyes, but this was the first time I was physically aroused by the site.
All of it has got me wondering - why? It's not sadist in nature and the act of inflicting pain isn't a turn on and neither is the actual self-harm. A little rough play and submissive bondage, the kind your average person with a bit of a kink would do for fun on a Friday night, sure. But actual harm, like spanking or S&M is about as unerotic to me as it gets. But why the bruises and scars? I've looked at it from different angles and the best answer I can come up with involves some form of inferiority complex. I mean, if someone feels weak or afraid of intimacy, what better way to overcome that than by sexualizing weakness or non-threatening partners. But that doesn't sound like me at all. Anyone that knows me would disagree with that notion.
Anyone have any ideas? Thoughts? General comments? Heard of this sort of thing before? Share away!
Here's a scene for those interested:
