Being an Adult Sucks

[sky14kemea]

I feel like some people are missing the point here kind of.... The way I see it the OP isn't complaining about having to "act" like an adult, they're just saying that all the added responsibilities that we're never actually taught how to handle are super depressing.

Seriously, I have no idea how to do taxes or how to get a mortgage. Nothing prepares people for when they have to fend for themselves and it sucks dick super-hard. When you're younger you can get help with these things but the second you hit this magical "adulthood" you're expected to know it already or you get laughed at.

 

[sky14kemea]

Getting a mortgage is quite straightforward, and if you aren't confident doing it there are always IFAs, though most banks will talk you through it. Getting rid of the bastard (mortgage, not the IFA) is the problem.

Generally I'd agree that it's very easy to hit adulthood ill-prepared. I know I was. But you sort of stumble around with your head up your arse for a few years, and eventually everything works out.

Okay but do I need to have a house already lined up to get a mortgage. Do I need to make an offer before or after I talk to the bank?

Do I need good credit to get a bigger mortgage? Because I've never had a credit card because I'm too scared of getting into debt with it. Everyone I've ever talked to about credit cards always seem to be in the minuses money wise. And always say stuff like they're "overdrawn" again.

[sub][sub]What does that even mean...[/sub][/sub]

 

[sky14kemea]

snip

Thanks. That does help a little.

I could throw these kind of questions at you all day but I won't waste more of your time. =P

 

[Armadox]

Getting a mortgage is quite straightforward, and if you aren't confident doing it there are always IFAs, though most banks will talk you through it. Getting rid of the bastard (mortgage, not the IFA) is the problem.

Generally I'd agree that it's very easy to hit adulthood ill-prepared. I know I was. But you sort of stumble around with your head up your arse for a few years, and eventually everything works out.

Okay but do I need to have a house already lined up to get a mortgage. Do I need to make an offer before or after I talk to the bank?

Do I need good credit to get a bigger mortgage? Because I've never had a credit card because I'm too scared of getting into debt with it. Everyone I've ever talked to about credit cards always seem to be in the minuses money wise. And always say stuff like they're "overdrawn" again.

[sub][sub]What does that even mean...[/sub][/sub]

Overdrawn means that they don't have the money in the bank to pay for the goods or services they have purchased. Usually that means that they will be fined and the bank will set itself in the negatives til the money is returned to equal 0 before you can use the card again. The fine can be fairly hefty depending on the bank. Usually overdrawn is a debit card issue, where the card's value is tied directly to your personal funds. Credit cards tend to have a max limit, and you can't use the card for more then it's worth to the bank to cover for you.

Credit cards are not evil, you simply need to actually pay attention to them. When you move to pay them, always pay more then the minimum (which most don't and that bothers me), because the minimum only pays off the top and doesn't actually pay down your debt. Also, never use your card to buy something that you can not pay off within a month. This will keep you from getting hidden fees and keep yourself out of debt.

ALWAYS KEEP TRACK OF YOUR FINANCES, and make sure where you are in relationship not only to the purchase but what you have in the bank and how much you can pay off on it a month before buying anything you can't afford.

 

[The Choke]

I think a bunch of the previous posters hit the nail on the head: the freedom of adulthood is awesome. Yeah, it's your responsibility to support yourself, but once you've got that out of the way, you basically decide what's up.

Though I'm not noticing a ton of people mentioning the other thing that sucks about getting older: Aging.

Getting older for me has meant sudden, terrible lactose intolerance, a knee that's gone clicky from ten years reaching into lowboys, and a back that absolutely needs my pillowtop mattress. I cannot crash over at a friend's house on their couch. I'm freakin' old now.

Do I still get my comic books, spend too much money on Steam, and watch cartoons? Hell yes. But I'm also old, so I absolutely have to get out on the bike or go to the gym or my body just starts to fall apart.

As a teenager, and then in college, I could bounce back so easily. Minor sprain? Fuck it, walk it off. Stayed up too late partying? Slap some concealer on the shadows under your eyes and get on out there. Or call one of your classmates and get the notes from class.

But as an adult I find myself having to make the choice of: "No. No whiskey. Yes, Dad gets whiskey, but you have to work tomorrow, so you get a pint of beer with dinner. One pint. Seriously."

Or: "As much as I would like a huge plate of fries to go with a bacon-burger, I should probably do the soup and salad."

Or even: "As much as I would like to do the soup and salad because I am damn tired and don't want to cook anymore today, the wallet is a little thin after Christmas, so it's actually going to be a can of soup and a bag of carrots. Also, no beer."

Or worse: "I'm very tired and I'm pretty sure I ate a full meal tasting everything I cooked at work today. Maybe I can just fall asleep."

How about this one? "Oh man, I would love to go see a midnight premiere of Awesome Movie... but I have a morning shift. Can we catch a Sunday matinee?" Maybe your parents didn't let you go when you were a kid, but at least you could blame them. You have nobody to blame for this boring responsibility but yourself.

Or good ol': "Yes, I'm working on my birthday, but it's on a Thursday this year so all my friends are working, too, and there wouldn't be anyone to party with anyway."

Basically, adulthood comes with all the freedom to fuck yourself and your life up as much as you want. You can choose to never clean your room or live entirely off of gummy worms, and you can go to bed whenever you want to. But eventually you're wading knee-deep through trash, you haven't pooped in forty-eight hours, and you slept through your alarm and got fired. But at least it's your choice.

 

[babinro]

My adult experience have been a little different.

- Finally out of my house and able to do what I want!
No disrespect to my parents whom I love but I needed that freedom. We got put to work a lot at home at least compared to the friends I had at that time.

- University is AWFUL. I have ZERO spare time. My weekly school work requirements take more time than I can spare. I get that people can easily read 400+ pages of textbooks per week in a few hours but I couldn't. Let alone all the assignments and mass studying required. No.

University for me was easily the worst experience in my life. It's all about sacrificing what's least important in courses to focus on what was most important. All that work, effort and stress led to me failing my key courses in the end. A total waste with no time for fun. How people go full time university, work a job and still have time for dating/fun is beyond me. It's like they are just naturally gifted.

- After accepting my university drop out status life became AMAZING!
Work an entry level job with low wages just to pay bills and have free time for whatever? Sign me up!
Over time I realized that I didn't even have to work full time if I budged correctly. Societal expectations be damned, I'm devoting my life to maximizing free time and loving life. Adulthood has been wonderful.

Granted, my choices come with several 'sacrifices' if you can even call them that. I can't afford to own a home. I can't afford to have children or even support another human being. I can only afford to support myself, live without debt, luxury purchases (limited to about $50.00 a month on fun) and save a little for the future...more than enough for me.

You could say that I'm pretty much a mid-30's teenager in how I live my life and you'd be right. It works for me and it's gradually become my favorite time in life. I just had to let go of societal pressures and expectations in order to live life the way that makes me happy.

 

[Pyrian]

I could throw these kind of questions at you all day but I won't waste more of your time. =P

It's kind of hilarious how you can get through 20+ years of education without anybody teaching you the very basics of cars, houses, bills, debt, and so on.

 

[V4Viewtiful]

I understand now why the Bible left out Jesus's Teen years. Adolescence suck.

Being an adult ain't all that great (politics, bills, maintaining a livable lifestyle), but I wouldn't go back to that. Teenagers in general suck anyway.

Now if you asked me if I wanted to be 10 or 8 again I'd jump

 

[IamLEAM1983]

I'm 32 years old, but I've always considered myself as a teenager that's been frozen in time. My knowledge base has expanded over the years and I can handle more responsibilities, but I'm still fundamentally the same kid who used to listen to "Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness" on a loop. My dreams of being a teacher haven't panned out so far, but that hasn't stopped me from spending time with kids and teenagers, with whom I've always felt a sort of kinship. I can still think like a kid and I still can figure out what matters to a kid. I don't think I'll turn into one of those adults who are desperately trying to stay hip - I can just coast along and observe what's trending. I don't have to adopt it, but I can take note of it.

Long story short, some of my younger cousins think I'm the coolest adult they know. I do plenty of adult stuff, but I know my way around several popular games. I know my metabolism can't put up with truckloads of sugary shit anymore, but I do allow myself one sloppy Domino's pizza every two weeks, after putting up with exercise tapes, self-imposed diets and supposedly "tasty" kale-based smoothies.

The way I see it, the adult-related morass we have to push through is a decent price to pay for the gigantic amounts of freedom we've earned. I'd love being able to shovel danishes and pie slices and not gain a pound like I used to and I'd love to still have that illicit twinge of pleasure on snow days or when my parents figured out I was too exhausted to drag my ass to school. The problem is I have bills to pay and my own damn mouth to feed, and my budget couldn't survive on a constant stream of restaurant outings. On the flipside, having my own address means I can order stuff I'd feel mildly shy about ordering in, like DVD box sets of some of the guilty-pleasure TV shows I used to watch.

Yes, the needs of a clean apartment are keeping me away from weekends entirely devoted to geekdom, but I don't mind paying that price. If I don't, then I get more time to spend gaming or binge-watching shows on Netflix; but I have to live with six inches of dust on everything. I'm not willing to sacrifice cleanliness and easy breathing for more fun.

Being an adult means you have more choices. You can choose to harm yourself by going for immediate and constant gratification, or you can put your inner kid aside for a few hours - at least long enough so you can go back to your leisure hours without feeling guilty about it.

 

[The Choke]

I understand now why the Bible left out Jesus's Teen years. Adolescence suck.

Christopher Moore didn't. http://www.chrismoore.com/books/lamb/

 

[V4Viewtiful]

I understand now why the Bible left out Jesus's Teen years. Adolescence suck.

Christopher Moore didn't. http://www.chrismoore.com/books/lamb/

So what your saying is, we've finally found Jesus?

 

[The Choke]

I understand now why the Bible left out Jesus's Teen years. Adolescence suck.

Christopher Moore didn't. http://www.chrismoore.com/books/lamb/

So what your saying is, we've finally found Jesus?

At the very least, we've come closer to understanding where he learned kung fu.

 

[Shiftygiant]

I'm teetering on the edge. About to go to University but at the same time having responsibility suddenly forced upon me. A strange issue of going from having very little responsibilities from Birth-16, and now for the last couple of years they have suddenly all rushed me at once. It's overwhelming really.

 

[Adam Jensen_v1legacy]

It sucks in some areas and it's good in others. So focus on the good stuff. Of course, even that's relative to your circumstances. Same can be said about childhood and teenage years. Personally, I had a great childhood but not so great adolescent life. I don't look back like it's a time long gone though. I cherish the memories but I look forward to what comes next. There's so much more to being an adult if you try not to let the bad and boring parts of it consume your thoughts.

I'm teetering on the edge. About to go to University but at the same time having responsibility suddenly forced upon me. A strange issue of going from having very little responsibilities from Birth-16, and now for the last couple of years they have suddenly all rushed me at once. It's overwhelming really.

It seemed that way to me too. But it's not really that difficult. You can get the hang of most things in less than a year. Writing down responsibilities and figuring out the most efficient way of dealing with them helps a lot.

 

[CrystalViolet]

-snip-

I was given between 4 months and 2 years to live when I was 15. I'm now 27 so I'm still getting used to the novelty of all the still being alive and stuff

I love being an adult. I make all my own decisions and do what I want. I couldn't possibly go back to being dependent on another person.

 

[Vendor-Lazarus]

I could throw these kind of questions at you all day but I won't waste more of your time. =P

It's kind of hilarious how you can get through 20+ years of education without anybody teaching you the very basics of cars, houses, bills, debt, and so on.

Indeed, but we do know the dates and names of all the important historical figures.
That's vital, you know.

Ok, it can be good to know your history, but I feel the emphasis is slightly skewed.
Not to mention Real Adult Life lessons that you miss out on.
Which I can't name because I don't know them.
How am I suppose to know what I don't know?
Heh.

Captcha: "Hard Captcha is hard." Ok, it's definitely sentient now. It's even referring to itself!

 

[RavingSturm]

Being an adult is great! you dont have to swallow other people's bullshit because as a child you had really no choice but to put up with it.

 

[Starbird]

You know, it seems like an obvious thing...but being an adult really sucks. Seriously, ever since I passed that magical "adult" threshold, it just been a long streak of "Wait, can I go back? This kind of blows."

College wasn't bad; it was a simple time. Go to class. Learn things. Pay reasonable bills (phone, room and board etc.). Enjoy free time doing whatever because no one around will judge (since they're all college students or staff themselves).

But afterwards?

"Here is a whole bunch of responsibility. Also you get nothing in return for accepting these responsibilities. Also, accepting these responsibilities is mandatory. And a lot of the things you did for fun/entertainment are now considered "inappropriate" for various random and nonsensical reasons, so have fun either being looked at as weird or bored out of your mind. BTW, we're going to make those "reasonable" bills from before a lot more unreasonable really, really fast. Have fun!"

Maybe its just because so many of the things that become "available" when you get to "adult" are pointless or useless to me that it sucks because I already had what I needed/wanted.

"That is just what it means to be an adult."

Well, then why does being an adult have to suck?

I agree - to an extent.

When I turned 30 and realized my childhood was done with and that what my life was was definitely not the fantasy I had had when I was younger I was more than a bit miffed.

Bills suck. Jobs suck. Realizing you are too old to change jobs sucks. Being alone at 30 while all your friends are getting married sucks. Seeing your body start to go south and the first hints of grey in your eyebrows and beard sucks.

That said, I can:
- eat when I want.
- eat what I want.
- do what I want.
- buy what I want (within reason).
- go to bed when I want.
- go where I want.

This gives me a lot of freedom to be my own man, have my own adventures and do the stuff I always wanted to as a kid.

Age appropriate: bah. I couldn't give a crap. Just finished working my way through the Batman and Justice League animated series (the latter still holds up pretty damn well actually). I have 30-40 year old friends who collect plushies and action figures. We all love the Marvel flicks.