Being Asexual In A Sexual Society

[Lyx]

I would argue against that if I had any idea what you just said. Would you care to explain to me what exactly it is that I am misunderstanding?

The short version is: You're ignoring all kinds of feedback loops and longterm effects.

To give you one example: By your described mechanics, every virus would rapidly mutate to kill off its host before it has a reasonable chance to spread.

Another thing that you do not take into account, is the environment. When there is a balance of power and ressources are limited, then per species it makes sense to be "greedy", because the counterbalance is already in place via the environment (thus, in such a situation there is little opportunity to take other aspects into account).

Overally, your problem is that you try to classify things into either/or on an arbitrarily choosen scale. But to take everything into account, you need to consider consequences on multiple scales including feedback-loops.

Finally, with the common concepts of "egoism" and "altruism" you wont solve shit, and that is because both concepts are self-contradicting: What commonly is called "only caring about ones own advantage" does not result in optimal own advantage. And what commonly is called "only caring about others advantage" does not result in optimal advantage of others. The whole dualism is flawed to begin with. Sure, there may be aspects like "shortsightedness" - both regarding time, as well as regarding space (self/other) - but that is not the same as how egoism and altruism is defined. You basically admit this yourself when on the one hand you mention "selfish bastards" and then a few sentences later say that evolution doesn't care about the quality of the individual. You need entirely different concepts to describe this stuff reasonable.

P.S.: And by the way - from an efficiency POV, "selfcentric" behaviour is not bad, and "exocentric" behaviour is not good. Evolution gives shit about human slavemorals. What you create by having a lot of exocentric behaviour (altruism) is vulnerability against... right, selfcentric "abusers". That does not make selfcentric behaviour efficient either, because that will for known reason reduce efficiency for everyone. The second-most efficient variant is a balance of both, and the most efficient variant is called "mutualism" (mutualism however requires parasitism as a trainer to be "on the watch").

 

[Scobie]

DELETED

 

[IBlackKiteI]

I don't see my lifestyle as a problem, on the contrary I think it's a blessing. I love being single, purely due to the large amount of money I have free to do what I want with, whereas my friends who are either married (both with and without kids) or those in a relationship (again both with and without kids) always seem to have very little free money floating around.

Above may seem a shallow view, but it is in my experience true; those with marital or relationship commitments a) do not seem to be as long term happy with a partner and b) are always living on the borderline money-wise.

I had a realisation the other day that we, or I, just dont feel like I need people in a compassionate or sexual way that much, in other words I feel anything in a relationship aside from friendship is useless.

All relationships are created out of the promise of sex, I think theres no dening it, it feels like people get in relationships just to well...screw, basically and there is often never real and true emotion, like people pretend to care just to get into the others pants.

Imagine if humans had practically no sex drive, there would be significantly less intimate relationships, and I think these ones that now exist without the promise of sex in the way would be beautiful.

Its hard to explain I guess, maybe Im just cynical or maybe its because my own experience of love has been very, very bad.

You are very true there friend, especially your line about "All relationships are created out of the promise of sex" I would agree, especially in this day and age I have seen a lot of my friends enter into relationships mainly to get laid, and then build up some small feeling after.
A prime example of this is that one of my guy friends was sleeping with two women at the same time, one of them found out and ended it with him and because he didnt want to lose the other girl for sex he asked her out, and then preceeded to act all lovingly towards her (very rapidly I might add) purely because he didn't want to lose her for her sexual prowess.

We humans are a disgusting species arent we?

People just hide bullshit behind a mask just to get some.

Then whats even more insulting to us as a species is when you hear someone go on about 'true love', there is no such thing as true love, its just chemicals and hormones messing up our brains to feed one of the most basic human desires.

Then sometimes you hear that this is the way we are, a biological thing, but does it have to be?

Like, why cant people try more to love and understand one another rather than just screwing and then dumping the other person when they get bored.

Sad thing is Im not sure if I would call your friend a tool, Id think of him more as an average guy.

 

[Riku'sTwilight]

I don't see my lifestyle as a problem, on the contrary I think it's a blessing. I love being single, purely due to the large amount of money I have free to do what I want with, whereas my friends who are either married (both with and without kids) or those in a relationship (again both with and without kids) always seem to have very little free money floating around.

Above may seem a shallow view, but it is in my experience true; those with marital or relationship commitments a) do not seem to be as long term happy with a partner and b) are always living on the borderline money-wise.

I had a realisation the other day that we, or I, just dont feel like I need people in a compassionate or sexual way that much, in other words I feel anything in a relationship aside from friendship is useless.

All relationships are created out of the promise of sex, I think theres no dening it, it feels like people get in relationships just to well...screw, basically and there is often never real and true emotion, like people pretend to care just to get into the others pants.

Imagine if humans had practically no sex drive, there would be significantly less intimate relationships, and I think these ones that now exist without the promise of sex in the way would be beautiful.

Its hard to explain I guess, maybe Im just cynical or maybe its because my own experience of love has been very, very bad.

You are very true there friend, especially your line about "All relationships are created out of the promise of sex" I would agree, especially in this day and age I have seen a lot of my friends enter into relationships mainly to get laid, and then build up some small feeling after.
A prime example of this is that one of my guy friends was sleeping with two women at the same time, one of them found out and ended it with him and because he didnt want to lose the other girl for sex he asked her out, and then preceeded to act all lovingly towards her (very rapidly I might add) purely because he didn't want to lose her for her sexual prowess.

We humans are a disgusting species arent we?

People just hide bullshit behind a mask just to get some.

Then whats even more insulting to us as a species is when you hear someone go on about 'true love', there is no such thing as true love, its just chemicals and hormones messing up our brains to feed one of the most basic human desires.

Then sometimes you hear that this is the way we are, a biological thing, but does it have to be?

Like, why cant people try more to love and understand one another rather than just screwing and then dumping the other person when they get bored.

Sad thing is Im not sure if I would call your friend a tool, Id think of him more as an average guy.

Yes, we are very disgusting as a species.
I'll agree with you about the love being a chemical thing, it is but people need to believe it's so much more than a veil for our animal instincts. I guess that's what the modern thinking world has done to us, to make us believe something is inherently real when its not - but can be as like you said people who actually make a connection with another rather than using feelings as a way to get laid.

Yeah, average is a good definition. Given the choice a lot of people would do what he did because it's a thrill to be able to gain all the benefits of instinct (sex) without any of the romantic stuff. This doesn't exlclude girls, it's just they tend to do it less often than guys.

snip

My ten year plan, ha!

I've been thinking about it for a long time now. I see no future for myself and I'm buggered if I'm gonna let myself become 'an old person'. I already have a blatant disregard for my own safety. I ride superbikes......fast, I smoke, eat badly and don't look before crossing the road. If that fails, maybe the Swiss will sort me out (after my parents are dead, they wouldn't understand and I wouldn't want to put them through it).

For now, I'm too stubborn! My friends don't understand how someone can hold such apathy for life and still keep functioning normally. I think it upsets and confuses them in equal measures!

Relationship-wise, I somehow managed to go through my twenties without anything happening. Pink Floyd were right, ten years got behind me, no-one told me when to run......I missed the starting gun.

I've now reached the point where a sexless existence is totally natural. I've even told girls that flirted with me that they'd be a fucking idiot to have anything to do with me in that way. I'm lonely, but basically holding my life together. Sex doesn't have enough appeal to risk anything.

I guess it's a form of asexuality, formed from numerous outside influences. Not sure if I'd feel otherwise if things were different, or if it's an inbuilt thing?

I can understand exactly where you are coming from, sometimes life takes you down a path that isn't quite what you hoped for (your loneliness etc) but always gives a redeeming feature about it (holding your life together) It's a pretty big win if you aren't breaking down mentally every five minutes because life has screwed you over.
I did like when you suggested that you told girls exactly where you were, letting people know where they stand is a big thing for me and it just uncomplicates everything in a heartbeat, if someone still wants to be near you after that then great to them, if they dont then clearly their intentions were'nt all that in the first place.

 

[Treblaine]

Can't sympathize with you there. I'm trisexual.

You're sexually attracted to tricycles? You sick fuck.

Terrible, terrible attempts at humour aside that's a new term for me. I guess I've always just assumed that Bisexualism was as open as a person could go without being attracted to inanimate objects or other species (e.g. pansexual).

Fix this shit.

I never said that, tellmeimaninja did. And yeah, I'm in a bad mood. Fucking nazis. Not you, just having to deal with them elsewhere. It's like they're genetically engineered super assholes created in a government lab to make the world just a little shittier every chance they get.