Riku said:
I've been meaning to write a serious discussion here for some time, and now this is the topic I've chosen.
If you don't know what Asexuality is then Cambridge Dictionaries defines it as "having no interest in sexual relationships" which pretty much sums it up in my own experience.
This post is about me, being asexual in a world/society which seems to be overly sexualised these days. Just to be clear, i'm heterosexual, but I'm also asexual which means that I like women, I can find them attractive, both in personality and in physical form but I do not want to sleep with any woman (and before people say it, no i'm not gay so don't even bother suggesting that I like men).
Anyway I find it hard sometimes when sex is all around us, being pushed in our faces and down our throats and it's even worse when teenagers feel the need to have sex way before they may be physically and emotionally ready, purely just to 'fit in' with the others.
I find it hard because I don't want to do any of this so called 'social norm' and don't actively chase anybody anymore (I used to, but since I have discovered that I am asexual I do not bother anymore) or I don't try to hit on women in bars or clubs.
My friends purely think that I've given up, but I do not wish to tell them that I am asexual, mainly because I do not know anyone else with asexuality as their sexual preference and so they may find it weird that I am.
I don't see my lifestyle as a problem, on the contrary I think it's a blessing. I love being single, purely due to the large amount of money I have free to do what I want with, whereas my friends who are either married (both with and without kids) or those in a relationship (again both with and without kids) always seem to have very little free money floating around.
Above may seem a shallow view, but it is in my experience true; those with marital or relationship commitments a) do not seem to be as long term happy with a partner and b) are always living on the borderline money-wise.
What are your views, oh dear Escapists? Are any of you asexual? do you know anybody who is? or do you want to argue anything I've said here? Post a reply below
I seek out no relationship, and have no interest in them. However, that's not because of a lack of interest in sex, it's because I'm incapable of forming deep emotional connections with people. Live or die, family, friend, or stranger, it doesn't matter to me. I'm not exactly a sexual person either, porn bores me, sex bores me, women are visual pleasing, but only in the same way a good rifle or car or tree is. Men also bore me.
I don't understand why people need those relationships or anything. I mean, on a biological/social level I can see it, but inside my head, I'm often under the false assumption that people are basically like me, emotionally, so it occasionally surprises me when people bring up their relationships and say things like, "Oh, I couldn't live without him/her! He/She completes me, you'll understand when you find the one.".
But then break up three weeks later to repeat the process in an identical fashion elsewhere. It just seems pointless to me.
But hey, that's just me. It's not a conscious decision, I'm not like this to be 'different' or anything. I just am, and it's not something that I really think about unless someone brings it up, such as to answer you.
And before anyone starts bein' uppity:
As far as I know, I do not have any mental disorders. I've never been diagnosed with any, at any rate. I'm not a manic depressive, and I'm pretty satisfied with my life (though I could definitely use a second source of income...). I'm not depressed, and I am generally above the middle line for happy/unhappy. I just don't rise far above that, in general, nor sink much below it.
EDIT: Further anti-Uppityness:
I'm not putting down relationships, I know quite a few people in long term committed ones that are happy, and decent folk. I got no problem with them, I got no problem with those that aren't in relationships, and those who take a quick screw. I just find the whole bit pointless and don't have anything to do with it.
Yes, I've been through several relationships in the past, including several long distance ones. Most ended because I got tired of trying any more and left. Finally got tired of havin' folk's hatin' me for leavin' 'em after they got all attached or whatever, so I haven't tried again.
I'm not a teenager. Or Emo. Or a robot (though that would be both totally awesome, wouldn't it? Also completely lame, 'cause while advanced, I'd be the lamest robot ever. Don't even have deathrays!)