Being shy/anti-social one of the biggest disadvantages in life?

[Vault101]

Im in one of my moods again........except this time its not about PC gaming or Multiplayer and 5 hour campgns

no its about the future...or my future...or what ever, sorry If I sound emo but anyway Ive really been thinking

I mean this Idea of "following your dreams" is an interesting one, it seems day to day we are told that our dreams will never come true, I mean I know you have to be realistic but somtimes this can get very soul crushing....especially if you dont know what to do with your life

and I guess it gives you the Idea "why bother?" mabye set my expectations low and be content with what ever job or path I find my self in

but anyway I guess thats not really the focus here

It seems that really to get anywhere...or to get somwhere good its less about "what" you know and "who" you know, we get told this constantly

its really all about connections and networking and "knowing people"

and really if your somwhat On the shy and anti-social side...its harder to get "connections" or to network or what ever, if your alone in the world what chance do you really have?

anyway its not just the job thing It seems in all areas being shy/antisocial is a disadvantage

sorry again for the emo-ness really Im not thinking "oohh poor me!!" no Im just thinking really

 

[Dags90]

It's not really all about knowing people. If you're good enough at what you do, people will come looking for you. My dad was headhunted into two of his jobs.

Getting certain jobs requires more networking, but those jobs seem pretty rare to me and largely center around media.

Also, science has suggested that less socially active people are less susceptible to contagious diseases due to decreased exposure. [footnote]http://www.boston.com/news/health/blog/2010/09/friends_and_flu.html[/footnote]

 

[Feralcentaur]

Yeah, if you're unable to "properly" communicate with others you're going to have hard time, and while social skills may not be something that come naturally to everyone, it can still usually be learned and done decently. And there's still other factors...

 

[Eldarion]

Its not so much a disadvantage, I only have a handful of friends but they are MY friends. They are the few people I like enough to hang out with and share feelings and experiences with. I think that 3 close friends means a whole hell of a lot more than 500 facebook "friends".

I was so antisocial in school. Like I said, I got 3 or 4 close friends and stuck to them. It worked for me. I really need to start socializing more though, but for my own reasons. You should just feel free to have as much or a little human contact as you feel you need.

 

[Bezz_Ad]

Yeah, it can be, you may miss out on a lot of stuff. Meeting new people, knowing new places, yeah...

 

[Lineoutt]

Well I don't mean to promote things but pick up "The Four Agreements" by Miguel Ruiz. Its short, easy to read, and incredibly profound.

Up until I read this book a few months ago I was constantly worrying about my future and myself as a person. But I am finally at peace with myself, it is an amazing feeling. I too, am pretty shy/anti-social. I had many problems worrying about my future and worry about what other people thought.

People would always tell me "Don't care what other people think about you" I got the concept but it seemed impossible. It is possible, if not difficult. This book showed me the way. I am finally able to embrace myself as a person. I feel level headed and the best part is I don't feel like I need anyone. I don't need to be accepted, because I am entirely emotionally self-reliant. People are a great asset to your life but a huge burden is lifted when the necessity for them to feel good about yourself is no longer existent.

Once you feel this then shyness will disappear, you will never feel like you miss out on things. It's all about ditching fear

Sorry to ramble, but I was exactly in the same place as you until recently. It's incredible.

I wish you the best!

 

[SL33TBL1ND]

Nope, being brain dead would probably be the biggest disadvantage in life.

Spoiler: What the hell am I meant to type there?

 

[SilentCom]

Nope, being brain dead would probably be the biggest disadvantage in life.

Spoiler: What the hell am I meant to type there?

Lol, captcha fail.

OT: Being shy or not social can really hurt you if you want to be a part of society.
Society = social

I'm a bit shy myself and have other problems with my social skills. This could be one reason why I don't have a job... or any friends (irl)... or a girlfriend... >_<

 

[Vault101]

Well I don't mean to promote things but pick up "The Four Agreements" by Miguel Ruiz. Its short, easy to read, and incredibly profound.

Up until I read this book a few months ago I was constantly worrying about my future and myself as a person. But I am finally at peace with myself, it is an amazing feeling. I too, am pretty shy/anti-social. I had many problems worrying about my future and worry about what other people thought.

People would always tell me "Don't care what other people think about you" I got the concept but it seemed impossible. It is possible, if not difficult. This book showed me the way. I am finally able to embrace myself as a person. I feel level headed and the best part is I don't feel like I need anyone. I don't need to be accepted, because I am entirely emotionally self-reliant. People are a great asset to your life but a huge burden is lifted when the necessity for them to feel good about yourself is no longer existent.

Once you feel this then shyness will disappear, you will never feel like you miss out on things. It's all about ditching fear

Sorry to ramble, but I was exactly in the same place as you until recently. It's incredible.

I wish you the best!

thanks for the encouragement

I think Im actually pretty good with myself in almost all aspects (definetly more than other people)

and Im not really unhappy at all, in fact Im quite happy

Its jsut really the career/future side of things that I worry about, I feel that I may not have what it takes to reach my full potential (what ever that is) in that I may just become complacent in life

sorry there I go again monologing

somtimes It shelps to write down ones problems and get input from others

 

[Thaluikhain]

I don't think it's that much of an issue, personally.

 

[Lineoutt]

snip

I totally agree with you about that, writing things down always helps . But yeah I would probably say that the more you think about it and worry the more likely you will be unhappy with your future career (does/doesn't meet expectations).

I would say stick to what you love to do and learn things you want to learn and eventually you can turn that into a career. That's my plan for now

 

[Kevlar Eater]

Why do people always use "anti-social" incorrectly, when what they really mean is asocial? Asocial people tend to be quiet and out of the way, but society would revel in seeing one crucified. Anti-socials tend to be psychopaths, they blend in with society better, and are the kinds of people who tend to be your boss.

 

[Paksenarrion]

I'm a student teacher, and I seem to get along much easier with kindergarten students than I do with my peers and fellow teachers.

With my students, they're so honest and open, you know what they're thinking because they will tell you what they're thinking.

With...other adults, the first thing that comes to mind is "How do I respond appropriately in this social situation?".

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

Well...yeah. But you need to push yourself as much as you can. In the situation I'm in for example, I need to go through a million things I'd rather avoid to do something I wouldn't miss for the world.
Being a recovering, agoraphobic, sociaphobic is incredibly hard but staying in your comfort zone forever most certainly won't give you more happiness nor pay the bills.

 

[Vault101]

snip

You're 19. If you were really as ambitious as you want us to believe, you would probably still be in school. So forgive me, but I dare to say that it's probably about what you know not who you know.

ambitious? I never said I was and maybe thats my problem...not being ambitious enough

I might look back one day and regrett not being better because being ambitious was too "hard"

its Just I find the whole "youll never live up to your dreams" and "its not abotu what you know but who you know" very depressing and it puts me off really trying to avoid getting hurt I supose

 

[Vault101]

Why do people always use "anti-social" incorrectly, when what they really mean is asocial? Asocial people tend to be quiet and out of the way, but society would revel in seeing one crucified. Anti-socials tend to be psychopaths, they blend in with society better, and are the kinds of people who tend to be your boss.

sorry I wasnt aware of that distiction

also you think society liked to crucify shy people?...ouch

 

[Syntax Error]

Yes it is. Powerful people got to where they are now because they knew the right people and used these connections when the opportunity presented itself.