Being Tagged as a "Fanboy".

[Copter400]

The most frequent form of contribution to this topic is people defining fanboys.

Is that it? Is this the highest calibre of discussion you can muster?

Well since the topic is about fanboys, and the opening post is about fanboys, forgive us for the ignorance we have displayed in posting replies about fanboys. This is clearly a thread about the practical uses of forensic orthodontics. Our bad. It won't happen again.

 

[Copter400]

Who remembers MGG and The Negotiator? Which one do you think he's affiliated with?

No, this is a new entity, a new malevolent being who graces our forums. He's the worst one yet.

 

[Knight Templar]

I consider a "fanboy", to be anybody who.
Makes things up to make a game look good/bad.
Says games suck, just because they are not on his/her consoloe.
Hates games they have never played.
Attacks without reason.
Can't see a game has problems.

 

[josh797]

wow i think i see an arrogance troll on the horizon! someone send out a call for the trollslayer, ready your +3 to attack halberd

 

[p1nkm15t]

I tend to look at fanboism as being like the Protestants and the Catholics, but without the messy fighting and bombings. Fanboism is, in it's own way, a minor religious war.

I consider myself a Sony fanboy of sorts, but not one of the nuttos. I do like the Wii. I have an abhorrence towards most things microsoft. I still can't understand how anyone thinks Halo is anything special. (No offence, just personal opinion.) I grew up with Wolfenstein, doom, quake, Team fortress, etc. God I miss Conc/Rocket Jumps
I suppose some of us old timers just have a different view on things. Like the old saying, the way your parents feel about your music, is the way you're going to feel about your children's music. I suppose the same could be said for games as well. (Disclaimer - This analogy may not be true for all cases)

First video game I ever played - One of those old Astro-Wars console games. It was basically space invaders on a green-screen in a little box
http://www.consolepassion.co.uk/grandstand-handheld-games.htm
(About half way down the page)

j-e-f-f-e-r-s: I do like that "f**k the f**k off" quote. I might try to use that at work this week.

 

[General Mostly Electrified Steel]

Oh, Almightyjoe, you do understand me so well.

However, now that my robotic brain has completed the necessary maintenance procedures, I feel inclined to contribute to this topic.

The first post allows no discussion. It is simply a rant; someone venting their spleen after no doubt being abused terribly for being a FF7 player.

Here's where it gets hazy for me, though. Suddenly, despite the complete lack of an actual topic to discuss, everyone's jumping into the thread!

What could possibly motivate this? Greed? Lust? That bizarre tic in your fingers that makes thoughts pop up on message boards?

And, to my horror, the minute I post something deliberately provocative, the thread is sidetracked completely, and any attempts to revive the stand-in topic of "Please give your definition of fanboy" (which I will repeat: came from nowhere) are ignored... until the source of all the angst and hatred disappears for eight hours. Actually, wait, that's my fantasy. In reality, you're all still milling about my fish bait, waiting for the next meal, oblivious to the gull-eating pelicans hovering ominously on the horizon.

But here, let's try something.

Let's assume that the actual topic is one's experience with being labelled a fanboy (both the title and the content of the original post would point to this being the case). If this holds out to be true, then I would write something like this:

The System is very simple.

You are a fanboy, because you like a game that was either Pop or Corporate (if we would like to continue along the music vein). This means, therefore, that you will be vehemently, obstinately opposed to anything that is not your golden calf (FF7).

Now, we have that Haut Gamerestghzvbbbbljk (none of which is pronounced--it's Fronsh, you see) faction, who believe that their golden calf could kick your golden calf's ass in mortal combat, then melt the gold down, plant their golden ass in it, then dissolve the golden assprint in aqua regis and sell it to the Ferengi with their hideous Jew ears. The Haut Gamerestghzvbbbbljk also realise that you must be rabidly obsessed with FF7, and subsequently explode in a huge frenzy of fear (OMGASH HE'S TOTALLY A FANBOY HE'S NOT GOING TO LIKE OUR FAVOURITE GAMES WTF) and then level their panicked accusations of fanboyism at you.

Now, take a situation in which I loudly proclaim that I am deeply, madly, passionately in love with, say, The Twisted Tales of Spike McFang. Three quarters of you vacant goons are going to sniff your fingers and cock your empty heads at me in stunned silence. It is highly unlikely that anyone is going to level the Fanboy charge at my twisted, deranged self. The scenario changes, however, when I say the same things about FF6.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, this is a huge climactic battle. The sort of thing you were rocking out to on the Big Bridge scene in FFV. Why? Perhaps it is the mentality of the Final Fantasist. Quizás it is--well, I'll stop there.

I'm not really interested in psychoanalysing the whole sorry mess that is the Gamer and how their individual favourite is a phallic symbol that comes under fire from a darkened mother figure when opp--yeah, alright. I'm stopping.

Perhaps, however, I would elaborate on the various possible causes of a fanboy clash, or provide more information in a less frivolous voice. Who knows.

 

[General Mostly Electrified Steel]

Directed at Almightyjoe:

Notice how it wasn't until the third post where someone defined "fanboy" that this thread actually picked up, and picked up in a way that everyone else started defining fanboy?

People started posting, because they suddenly saw a miracle post. "Ah! That's what this topic is about, since everyone's doing it!" they thought.

To me, this sets off Red Alert, and Klaxons start blaring. The smell of Idiot is on the wind. Then, to inflame things, someone sets off a Spleen bomb, rounding it off with a healthy dosage of angry cussing for the ultimate in emotional inflection. I was seeing that topic about the anti-gamer male editorial all over again.

And yes, the WoW forums are a hole. They're terrible. But I look up to Mallicus, the only shining light of hope in a terrible maelstrom of darkness and hormonal angst. Maybe you should look him up if my actions aren't clear by this stage yet.

Ultimately, also, I'm confining this persona to this thread (or trying to). Crap_haT got the idea. I'm only breaking character now to make sure it's perfectly clear that I intend to offend nobody on a serious level; I'm truly more interested in sparring for my own perverse pleasure, much like how Dexter Fishpaw stomps on women's feet.

Gul...

Out!

 

[Natural Hazard]

you are on the wow forums? explains a lot then

 

[General Mostly Electrified Steel]

you are on the wow forums? explains a lot then

No, I quit WoW months ago due to a guild mutiny.

 

[General Mostly Electrified Steel]

Ah, my dear Almightyjoe, you were no doubt here for that thread where some soul posted a very angry topic about some editorial where the author blamed videogames for trapping men in adolescent limbo, preventing them from satisfying her womanly drives.

The entire thread had gone to the dogs--the rabid, snarling, deadly, St Bernard dogs--by the time I stopped reading it. I was seeing this entire sorry process building itself up by the time Crap_haT posted his rant.

And no, mon chou, I am not pretend (not a typo) to be an asshat, I am an asshat, weilding my phallic scepter of self-satisfaction, with my Icelandic egg of Ultra-purity, perched atop my throne of troubled childhood.

But I'm sure you'll realise this all once you get in touch with your feminine side and become a Paladin, Mr Wayne.

 

[General Mostly Electrified Steel]

The very definition of a troll. Can I get my Chaucer ready...?

Ah, but I elevate myself from the common Troll by assuming that I can hold both vicious and simultaneously intelligent discourse with those I provoke.

I also might add that FIRE AND ACID MERELY EMPOWER ME! HA HA HA HA HA.

 

[General Mostly Electrified Steel]

And who needs fire and acid when I have the works of Plato and Aristotle as my weapons.

Ineffective against my +3 Tower Shield of Wikisource.