Best and Worst Ways to Start a Conversation

[Auron555]

Title pretty much sums it up. What are some of the best ways possible to introduce yourself or start a conversation, and what are some of the worst? It can be anything from meeting someone at a party to answering the phone, be creative.

"Hi, I'm (name), and I'm HIV negative."
"Nice to see you again, Unc-Aunt Molly."
"Hi, thanks for calling (name), your call is important to us. Please refrain from holding."
"Hi, my name is (name) and- hold on a sec. *check watch* Wow, the Oracle was right!"

 

[GunnerGraye]

"Why, hello Ted!I just remembered to call you and say hello because when I got over my hangover this morning, I remember you wife yelling out your name while I was f**kin' her! Well, I guess I'll see you later, buddy. Oh... and you may want to buy some new sheets."

 

[FalloutJack]

"Hi, I'm (name)." *Holds up pistol* "Give me your money and anything else of value you might have."

 

[Lord Beautiful]

"Hi, does this wrag smell of chloroform?"

 

[Vivvav]

Good: "Hi, I'm , and I was on the news once. They called me a hero after I rescued a little girl from a burning building."
Bad: "Hi, I'm , and I was on the news once. They called me a murderous pedophile after I molested a little girl and threw her in a burning building.

 

[RAWKSTAR]

"Hey! Mind if I nibble on your nipple?"

 

[CIA]

Worst:
"What?"

 

[LaxLuster]

"Hi, does this wrag smell of chloroform?"

Hey, that's one of my favorite pick-up lines! That and "What f**ks like a tiger and winks?" I've never been able to do it with a straight face, though.

Bad: "Oh, it's you I smelled..."

 

[Dr.Doctor]

"Hi there, would you like ot check out my rusty knife collection? It's over in that tool shed."

Or

"Look man, you really need to teach your six-year old how to take a punch. Kid went down after like seventeen."

 

[PumpItUp]

*Stare*
Girl: Why are you staring at me?
Guy: The numbers floating above your head say you're going to die soon.

 

[deletemeplease107]

Hey guessss what???? I just came ^_~

 

[TheBluesader]

"Hey! Mind if I nibble on your nipple?"

Best or worst?

Guess it depends on where you are and how much you've been paid.

 

[savandicus]

Worst
Is it me or does it smell of burning puppies in here?

Best
I can haz cookie? (This line only works if your a cat)

 

[Duck Sandwich]

"So anyway, what's the deal with airplane food?"
"Sup, mortal?"
"Excuse me miss, I find you quite pleasing to the eye, and I would be honoured to engage in a most profound, thought-provoking, and rousing discussion with you. Hmm, what's that? A splendid lady like you is already taken, and your current lover wishes to engage me in a bout of fisticuffs for having the audacity to speak with you? Then to him, I say, "HAVE AT YOU, CUR! I'LL GIVE YOU WHAT FOR!"

 

[WolfThomas]

Two really awkward things that have happened to me and my friends.

Friend: This is Bryn, he touches dead bodies all day long.
Myself: I'm a med-student, and only on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Friend: This is (blank) he's a MURDERER! a trained death dealer, a pyscho killer of epic proportions.
Other Friend: I'm in the army...no I haven't killed anyone...

 

[Tattaglia]

"You're the groom, right? The groom? The fucking groom?! You're about to be married?! Pepperoni? Why the confusion?!"

Then charge them with scissors.

 

[mokes310]

Well, my old roommate and I used to see who could use the most ridiculous movie pickup line at bars and make the woman laugh. I won with the line from Anchorman.

Looking the woman square in the eye: "You, have a magnificent hiney. I mean, I wanna be on it, I wanna be friends with it."

Without blinking and with a dead stare, she took a couple seconds to catch herself, then almost fell to the ground laughing. After that, we had a few drinks and I got her number. I find that making women laugh when you're trying to pick them up is a good way to start.

In addition to that, and if I'm being serious, I just walk up to the person and say, "Hi, my name is Jeff, what's yours?" That seems to work quite well.

When I'm feeling a bit wild, I'll walk up to a woman at the bar, tell her that she's doing a shot, quickly order, drink it down with her and say, "my name is Jeff, that was good for me, was it good for you?" More often than not, if I get to the introduction and she's laughing, it's a solid conversation starter. Basically, I like to make people laugh when I meet them, that way, whenever they remember meeting you, they remember a happy time.

 

[Jimmycanuck]

Best:
"I like turtles" (You'd be surprised how many time's this has worked at getting a conversation started!)

Worst:
Everything else.

 

[zacaron]

"Hi, does this wrag smell of chloroform?"

damn you that was my idea but it does make a great pickup line.