Best Exam Answers

[Radelaide]

I wrote in my year 12 Modern History paper...
During the time of the Third Reich, Hitler created the Enabling Act. When executed, the Enabling Act would give executive power to Hitler. (Ambitious little fucker, wasn't he?)

Needless to say, I couldn't give a shit about that paper since the entire course was bull. Also, I failed.

 

[Ultress]

I had a Collage French exam and had no idea what the answer was so I wrote It's clobbering time in french. THe teacher got a laugh and gave me some credit.

Also had a question on who the new US Secretary of Defense(this is right around the time he was appointed so I had really heard who it was so I just answered Cloud Strife and The teacher gave me the credit.

 

[Layz92]

Unless you were in our year 10 science test it wont really be funny but I'll try to explain. The test had a question about vaccines in it, in the form of an example with a chicken. it started with picture of a chicken then in branched into 2 paths with identical pictures with information underneath them. One path was the "chicken ingests a weakened version of the virus strain so it's immune system is now prepared to eliminate the full strength virus when it arrives" and jammed alot more "sciency" words in there, then the next picture (still the same picture) had "the chicken survives". The other path was simply "chicken does not get weakened virus" which then went to "the chicken dies" with the picture simply flipped upside down with the ground facing down and all. It was just so jarringly, badly done and so simple compared to the other path a friend and I without conferring just looked at each other and said "the chicken dies" which then became both of our answers from that point on in tests when we didn't know the answer. It even turned up in drafts for essays. This wasn't a once of either, we did this for the next 2 and a half odd years. We would slip it in for fun in conclusions. For example we might write "the Greeks had many advantages over the Persians in their battles, their spears were longer, they were better trained and their chickens had not died."

 

[Griphphin]

My physics teacher's apparently got a good sense of humor, because I've put some pretty crazy answers on questions I had no idea about. The picture that follows is a recreation of the picture I drew for a question about thermodynamics that I didn't know too well:

Spoiler

 

[Keepitclean]

The Question was "Why is ingesting Alpha particles dangerous?" My friend answered "Because they will inflate you and you will float away". Alpha particles being Helium nuclei

 

[Gethsemani_v1legacy]

I am studying nursing and last spring we had an exam on diseases as part of our anatomy and physiology courses. One of the questions turn out to be:
"You suspect she might be suffering from cirrhosis, what blood samples do you order to get an indication of cirrhosis, and what do they measure?"
My answer:
"Medical diagnosis and treatment is the doctors responsibility. Not mine."

I passed the exam. My teacher didn't quite appreciate that answer however.

 

[Jared]

A classic.

That is total win! lol

A good question I heard once which was quite funny (On a BBC Comedy show)

"If you have 3 Tanks and Valdamir has 300 Tanks. Why would you go to war?"

 

[ElTigreSantiago]

There were a few questions on a test about tactics in the American Revolution, and I had no idea what the answers were so I put things like "They spawn-camped", "They used a lagswitch", "They had aimbot".

You can believe me or not, my friends and I know it's true.

 

[wordsmith]

I win?

 

[Eldritch Warlord]

"If you have 3 Tanks and Valdamir has 300 Tanks. Why would you go to war?"

Spoiler: Because you're Finland

 

[Queen Michael]

I once wrote a poem when I had my maths exams. It's in Swedish though and I doubt you'd get it. Though I still wonder what the teachers response was when (s)he read the poem

Some of us are Swedish, you know. Kan vi få höra det? Eller läsa, men du vet vad jag menar.

 

[Alpha Pat]

ummmmmm............ ya mum

 

[Queen Michael]

Here are true-life examples I actually used:

Q: What can be seen as "monstrous" in ms. Shelley's novel?
A: The monster. Duh!

Q: When did Plato live:
A: Before he died.

Q: What does this mean? [complicated technobabble phrase]
A: It means pretty much what it says there, guv.

Q: A European country held an election this week. What country was it, and what was the election about?
A: It was the North Pole that had an election about which of the little elves should dress up as Santa this year. After all, there is no Santa Claus; just elves from the North pole dressing up like him.

 

[Plinglebob]

I put "I am a Fish" on my physics a-level and a friend of mine wrote "Only Smarties have the answer" on his maths GCSE.

 

[dajuberjaber]

when asked why swamps are usefull fro he enviroment in a geogrophy exam my freind wrote 2 pages on why geogrophy is usless

 

[Kittaw]

I have giggle profusely at this thread.

I remember one time in Grade 12 English the class was tasked with writing an opinion piece and given five options. The last one was "The Flightless Plight of the Penguin."
Naturally, I wrote a factual analysis of why Penguins can't fly and alternative methods so they can do so (I should find this essay and post it somewhere).
I was the only student who chose this option, as the teacher did not expect anyone to.

 

[TankCopter]

Last year in English, we studied Arthur Miller's 'The Crucible'. The exam had a lot of questions concering the end of the play, and a few people decided to write 'I didn't read the book.' A couple of other people just made up answers.

 

[MBergman]

On a biology exam not to long ago we were supposed to: "Describe a natural circle." that is, how energy, nourishment and such is always going around in a circle.

Right away I quoted Mufasa from "The Lion King" on how lions eat the antelope and turns into grass after death and gets eaten in turn by the antelope, in the great circle of life.
I got 1 of 2 points and a smiley face, totally worth it!

During a math exam once, you were supposed to solve an equation with a certain formula, I prefered using another one so I wrote that I didn't want to cheat on the one I liked so I refused to solve it.

No points but a smiley face, also totally worth it!

 

[Rainboq]

I remeber I had a course a year or two ago and at the begining of the year the teacher was trying to get to know us so the second question was : Do you have a last name? (implying that the teacher wanted to know our last names)I answered Yes
oh and during physics during a class on gravity I asked the teacher in the middle of class : SO if a planet was destroy long ago. in a galaxy far away, we would feel a disturbance in the force? I got an instant A in the class!