best random comeback?

[Freshman]

either "sorry i don't talk to objects" or "YEA? Well I'll reload when I'm dead

 

[Levitas1234]

INB4
No you're a towel!

/thread

 

[TheSentinel]

"Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries!"

 

[NEVRINx54]

"You do realize we are talking about our Penis's, right?"

 

[Jaranja]

Me and my brother manage to make sexual references to children's books in our comebacks. But seriously, what better ones are there than the good ol' classics "your mum" and "so's your face"

On a side note:

My friend was having insults hurled at him from the other end of a bus once and he managed to silence it all with a completely random "I touched your grandma".
I nearly wet myself laughing at it.

oh yeah? well your dad told me your mom and him are getting a divorce!

Simply not funny at all. You're trying too hard to be random. Try less, kid.

Oh yeah? Well, sugar burns your skin!

 

[Incompl te]

You wouldn't say that if we were in EGYPT!

 

[Brad Shepard]

Heres what happened

guy bumbed into me, hard.

Random jerk: get out of my way!"

Me: No need to be a dick"

RJ: Fuck you asshole"

Me: real good comeback idiot"

RJ: Yea, well, i fucked your mom"

Me: Might want to check for AIDS then."

i walked away, a winner

 

[Dusty Donuts]

Your a bag of chicken flavoured chips! No-one likes you!

"Dude, I'm in Year 9."
"You looks like a Year 7. I don't care."
"You look like a fat cock. I don't care."
He never talked again.
EDIT: Sorry, forgot to tell you why I quoted you.
Someone called me a bucket of chicken once.

 

[Sleekgiant]

Just randomly yell out "Yes I would like to have sex with you"
No one will say anything, for quite a while

 

[omega_peaches]

"NO, I WILL NOT TAKE OFF MY PANTS FOR YOU" *Storms away*
"YEAH, WELL YOUR A [insert gender of person]"
"WELL SPORKS ARE BETTER THEN SPOONS, AND FORKS!!!"
These are all caps lock, because it's screaming

 

[Sleekgiant]

this is a good one.

Spoiler: warning Sexism

She asked for it, and she better bring him that sandwich

 

[Rand-m]

"You're a towel."
"No, you're a towel."
"You're a QUEER towel."

Edit:

No you're a towel!

So the ninjas win again.

Touche.

 

[blindthrall]

"Razlo NEVER burps wildebeasts!" That's as random as I get while still making a sentence.

But the king is good ol' Mr Cleese.

"Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!"

Fuckin Ninjas.

 

[Grigori361]

OH wait I forgot your grandma is Dead. True story.

 

[WhoaItsBrett]

I was playing Halo 3 online.
I was playing against like, 5 black guys.
they were winning.
So naturally, they were constantly saying I suck.
After they won, they said "Whats wrong Cracker? This game too hard for you?"
I replied with "Well, the outcome would have been different If my controller had a Lynch Button."

 

[ThatTallGuy]

"That's what she said"

If used it the right context...

It's funnier used in the wrong context.

 

[SuperUberBob]

Well I had sex with your wife!

 

[LordGarbageMan]

What do you want to do?

Spoiler

 

[Slayer_2]

I was "congratulating" a female friend of mine about her 49% on a test.

She proceeded to reply with a genius "Yeah? Well your mother sucked my dick last night!"

I just said "Ummm... nah, too easy".