Biggest threat to your life right now
- Thread starter AMMO Kid
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I'm thinking a bird smashing through the window into my head.
Or, as many people, have mentioned electrocution.
Or food poisoning.
Or water poisoning.
Or a friend or family member deciding that enough is enough and plotting to kill me.
Or someone walking into work with a gun (I work in a bank so that's not as unlikely as you might think).
Or my dog deciding to become its own master and biting through my jugular.
Or my habit, when I'm drunk, of asking everybody I see if I can buy them a drink (eventually gonna lead to trouble somehow).
Or drowning (beach or bathtub).
Or falling down/up the stairs.
Or falling and hitting my head/neck/chest on a sharp/blunt/hard object.
Or the stove exploding.
Or... shit, a lot of stuff seems to want me dead. Maybe god's trying to tell me something.
Fuck it, life's too short to worry.
Or, as many people, have mentioned electrocution.
Or food poisoning.
Or water poisoning.
Or a friend or family member deciding that enough is enough and plotting to kill me.
Or someone walking into work with a gun (I work in a bank so that's not as unlikely as you might think).
Or my dog deciding to become its own master and biting through my jugular.
Or my habit, when I'm drunk, of asking everybody I see if I can buy them a drink (eventually gonna lead to trouble somehow).
Or drowning (beach or bathtub).
Or falling down/up the stairs.
Or falling and hitting my head/neck/chest on a sharp/blunt/hard object.
Or the stove exploding.
Or... shit, a lot of stuff seems to want me dead. Maybe god's trying to tell me something.
Fuck it, life's too short to worry.
My anxiety attacks keep getting worse, and they make my heartbeat irregular as well as screw with my breathing. So maybe I'll have a heart attack or suffocate.
Probably getting caught while watching pr0nz.......
[sub]with the hand where it shoudn't be[/sub]
[sub]with the hand where it shoudn't be[/sub]
My management classes. I have to pass them to get my accounting degree even though I have neither aptitude for nor interest in interpersonal leadership in business. I just want to run financial statements, do auditing, and otherwise immerse myself in debits and credits; my dream job involves a basement and a computer or the glorified BDSM dungeon that is working for the IRS.
If I can't get my brain and my heart on the same page soon, I'm going to die from a chronic case of heartsickness. Seriously, knowing that you're chasing a dream, but unable to stop loving it, is just asking for angina, indigestion, and an eventual aneurysm.
But no, seriously. I'm pretty sure this is fatal. And, also, I'm an idiot for not being able to accept the truth, despite it being being right there in front of me. There. I said it.
On a more positive note, I'm pretty sure smoking won't be killing me any time soon. Day 6 officially, I couldn't care less about picking up another smoke ever again. This non-smoking shtuff rocks. Like, big-time! (100% nicotine free, w00t!)
But no, seriously. I'm pretty sure this is fatal. And, also, I'm an idiot for not being able to accept the truth, despite it being being right there in front of me. There. I said it.
On a more positive note, I'm pretty sure smoking won't be killing me any time soon. Day 6 officially, I couldn't care less about picking up another smoke ever again. This non-smoking shtuff rocks. Like, big-time! (100% nicotine free, w00t!)
Well, probably something involving a date with some chick named Rossy Palms, but besides that, I would say... I don't know, taking pot, my dad finding out I did and beating me half to death (I admit, I would deserve it). Not much besides that. I live in a pretty crime free neighborhood, am a healthy young man with no real physical problems (well, besides some shit with my left arm and leg, but that won't kill me). Not much can *train flies through window next to me and crushes me*
Losing my current traineeship/Full time job as a Help Desk Support Trainee doing a course alongside that which I have no interest at all, nor do I believe is relevant to the job (programming).
By doing so, being left the rest of my life, delivering pasta and pizza to my local community on weekends as a source of enjoyment/money and eating myself to death with the oh so glorious pizza or crashing one of the Swift's (Delivery Cars). :O :S
By doing so, being left the rest of my life, delivering pasta and pizza to my local community on weekends as a source of enjoyment/money and eating myself to death with the oh so glorious pizza or crashing one of the Swift's (Delivery Cars). :O :S
Tiny little scratches. My kitty is sleeping next to me and She could wake up in a foul mood at any second.
Me. I'm the biggest threat to my life. Let's just go over the past decade real quicklike, and I'll show you what I mean:
2000: Mmmmm... Codien. Turns out, I'm allergic as HELL to that sh*t, swells my throat shut.
2002: Malaria. Yup, that's right, the mesquito disese. Dont ask. It sucks.
2003: First attempted suicide due to depression/PTSD (all realated to when/why I got malaria). Mmmm... Thorazine! *singing* "Do the shuffle!! Do the shu-shu-shuffle!"
2004: ODd on "recreational" drugs, and tried to kill myself again.
2005: Fell asleep driving, totalled my car.
2005 (again): ODd on Flexeril and Nyquil trying to catch a buzz.
2006: Destroyed my rotator cuff at work, and let's just say Darvocet and me dont get along so well.
2006 (again): Flipped my car down a hill doing 65mph, car was totalled.
2007: Fell through my celing.
2008: That was actually a pretty good year...
2009: Was rearended at a stoplight, guy was doing 45mph, car totalled.
2010: Shelving units fell ontop of me, f*cked up my back. Flexeril FTFW, Darvocet is in the mix again...
2010 (again): Turns out Etodolac is NOT so kidney friendly...
I THINK that covers all the high notes...
So yeah, I'd say that *I* am the biggest threat to my life... Either that, or cars.
Might be those cows farting in New Zeland that are depleting the Ozone layer...
Just sayin'.
2000: Mmmmm... Codien. Turns out, I'm allergic as HELL to that sh*t, swells my throat shut.
2002: Malaria. Yup, that's right, the mesquito disese. Dont ask. It sucks.
2003: First attempted suicide due to depression/PTSD (all realated to when/why I got malaria). Mmmm... Thorazine! *singing* "Do the shuffle!! Do the shu-shu-shuffle!"
2004: ODd on "recreational" drugs, and tried to kill myself again.
2005: Fell asleep driving, totalled my car.
2005 (again): ODd on Flexeril and Nyquil trying to catch a buzz.
2006: Destroyed my rotator cuff at work, and let's just say Darvocet and me dont get along so well.
2006 (again): Flipped my car down a hill doing 65mph, car was totalled.
2007: Fell through my celing.
2008: That was actually a pretty good year...
2009: Was rearended at a stoplight, guy was doing 45mph, car totalled.
2010: Shelving units fell ontop of me, f*cked up my back. Flexeril FTFW, Darvocet is in the mix again...
2010 (again): Turns out Etodolac is NOT so kidney friendly...
I THINK that covers all the high notes...
So yeah, I'd say that *I* am the biggest threat to my life... Either that, or cars.
Might be those cows farting in New Zeland that are depleting the Ozone layer...
Just sayin'.
Right this second? Oh, god, I dunno. 2012, I guess. I hear that
The Earth's magnetic field will begin to switch that year,
Everything will be destroyed in a fiery cataclysm that year,
Asteroids will happen that year,
Earthquakes will rip the planet apart that year,
I will meet someone, fall in love and then, after being abandoned for a shinier toy, lose all motivation for life and eventually simply neglect myself to the point of death, that year.
Guess I had better watch out for that.
The Earth's magnetic field will begin to switch that year,
Everything will be destroyed in a fiery cataclysm that year,
Asteroids will happen that year,
Earthquakes will rip the planet apart that year,
I will meet someone, fall in love and then, after being abandoned for a shinier toy, lose all motivation for life and eventually simply neglect myself to the point of death, that year.
Guess I had better watch out for that.
Me, I guess. My eating habits to be more precise. I guess that's pretty boring. It kind of makes me wish someone wanted to kill me. My life is so boring.