Bipolar disorder, your experiences thereof

[Eamar]

Not quite sure whether this should be here or in the advice forum, but anyway:

So, after several months of assessments and investigations (and several years of misdiagnoses and things being generally "not right" ) I've been diagnosed with bipolar 2 disorder and will be starting treatment in the next week. Right in time for the start of my third year at a particularly stressful university. Though I wouldn't say it was a huge surprise by this point, I'm confused, distressed, angry, relieved in a way... pretty much what you'd expect, I suppose.

So Escapists, help me out. What are your experiences of bipolar disorder? How do you/people you know live with it day to day after diagnosis? If you have no experience of it, what are your impressions of the disorder? Can you just say random shit to cheer me up?

 

[JaceArveduin]

personally? The closest to bipolar I've been was when I was on high blood pressure medicine, I got pissed over little things easily.

Though there is one bipolar who's guts I need for a new belt...

 

[Frankster]

My dads bipolar and for most of my life i honestly just thought he was moody or would blame myself for his outbursts thinking i caused them in some way. He would go from being lovely to being real pissy or snap at some seemingly small thing.

So not really relevant to ya, unless you want to remember this for when you have kids.

 

[Friendly Lich]

Customers in retail seem to become afflicted with this disorder the moment they walk into the store.

 

[Dags90]

My experiences with people who have type 1 bipolar haven't been pretty. The people I know with bipolar disorder can't hold regular 9-to-5 jobs. I've seen psychotic episodes during manic episodes, one person was hospitalized while having such an episode. Sorry to be such a downer, but I can't help but roll my eyes at comments like:

Customers in retail seem to become afflicted with this disorder the moment they walk into the store.

Which play down the severity of bipolar disorder. It's like saying you feel "a bit cancer-y" after a night of heavy drinking. It's not funny.

 

[DanielBrown]

My father was bipolar.
Was. D:

Sorry I can't cheer you up, so here's a picture:

Spoiler

 

[SpAc3man]

My great aunt suffers from type 1. I don't have all that much experience with it as she lives on the other side of the world in NYC but from the times I have spent with her the best way to describe her is eccentric. She collects lions (toys, pictures etc) plays lots of music, never learnt how to cook on account of being separated from her mother when she escaped Nazi Germany with her siblings via the Kindertransport program at age 6. She keeps sheet music in her oven.

The only times she is at her best is when she sticks to the medication that works. Doctors have put her on various things over the years but the only thing that consistently keeps her stable is lithium, which is what she has been on for about 30 years. So best advice I can give is when you find what keeps you feeling good, functioning and stable, keep at it. You may feel you don't need it after being stable for a decent period of time but be careful about altering how you manage it.

 

[Friendly Lich]

My experiences with people who have type 1 bipolar haven't been pretty. The people I know with bipolar disorder can't hold regular 9-to-5 jobs. I've seen psychotic episodes during manic episodes, one person was hospitalized while having such an episode. Sorry to be such a downer, but I can't help but roll my eyes at comments like:

Customers in retail seem to become afflicted with this disorder the moment they walk into the store.

Which play down the severity of bipolar disorder. It's like saying you feel "a bit cancer-y" after a night of heavy drinking. It's not funny.

Coming from the guy who is always making jokes of peoples beliefs. Don't pretend to be so upstanding.

 

[Screamarie]

I'm going to be BRUTALLY honest about my experiences with my sister's disorder so...yeah if you don't want to read, stop here...

Spoiler

It was never a confirmed diagnosis, but my step sister's psychiastrists believed she was bipolar and...yeah to be very blunt about it all, I would not let my sister sleep on the floor of my living room if she were going into hypothermia in the cold outside. Might call her an ambulance...might...

My family and I spent the first twenty some odd years of her life on a rollercoaster. When we were young she was often cruel, as she got older she spiraled more and more out of control. She's been on and off drugs, she's been in psychatric hospitals, pregnant multiple times and I believe has 4 children now, none of which she has custody of and been in and out of jail. She often came to us when things got particularly bad for her, claiming she had changed, and for a time it would seem she had, but quickly her bad behavior would start again because she didn't want to live by my parents rules, she didn't want to stay off drugs, and she just generally couldn't hold the crazy inside.

While I feel sorry for her and hope that someday, somehow she straightens up, I simply could not and will not have her in my life again because she was a very large factor in ruining my childhood.

BUT my sister was totally unwilling to recieve any form of treatment and has done her absolute best to make sure her life is shit. I believe she was suggested medication, but refused to even try it.

If you feel you need treatment and you can stick with it, there's no reason why you can't be a happy person, but it will be a lot of hard work. I think you must be doing something right though if you're on your third year of university, my sister couldn't even complete high school.

My best advice to you is to find some support, whether in a bipolar group or from family and friends.

 

[RaphaelsRedemption]

I have type 2 bipolar disorder, and contrary to all these doomsayers, it's perfectly possible to live with bipolar disorder, and live a fairly balanced normal life, at that.

It's taken me a while, and a fair amount of hard work educating myself, but I can honestly say that I am more stable and more normal than ever before. It does mean hard work, it is a life-long diagnosis, but it not a death sentence.

My experience is that I got better the more time I spent educating myself on how to predict and control my moods. I did this by taking my medications (and working with the doctors to find the best combination/dosage for me, which can be a tricky process), by individual and group therapy and courses, by reading recommended books on the subject and by observing my moods and planning ways to control them.

It's not easy. But it is totally possible to live a regular life, even with bipolar disorder. I am married, I have a part-time job, I have a small but awesome group of friends and an active social life. I certainly don't feel deprived or miserable.

My suggestions for dealing with a mental disorder are pretty simple. Accept it, and then defy it. You have to accept you have a long-term or even permanent condition that will impact your life in many ways. But then you can plan to defy it - to find ways of coping, living and enjoying life despite your condition.

Accept all the help offered to you through your medical system. Australia's mental health system isn't so awesome, but there are still services offered for nominal sums, or even for free (which is good if you have to take time off work to deal with stuff). Take advantage of it all!

Find support. Professionals, fellow sufferers, helplines, accepting friends, family. Don't do it alone. There's no reason you have to deal with stuff alone, and I found I felt so much better once I could admit to other people what was going on. Most people want to help. And if they don't, they weren't worth holding onto anyway.

This is a wall of text. I hope it helps some. Feel free to PM me if you're looking for resources or help or just to talk to someone! I wish you the best of luck, mate!

 

[Cazza]

My father was bipolar. We didn't know for a very long time.

My dads bipolar and for most of my life i honestly just thought he was moody or would blame myself for his outbursts thinking i caused them in some way.

That's is exactly what I thought. He had shift work so I always thought it was because he was tired.

My parents got a divorce because he was too hard to live with. 10 years later he was diagnosed with it. After that visiting him was great.

 

[Dags90]

Coming from the guy who is always making jokes of peoples beliefs. Don't pretend to be so upstanding.

It's not so much that I'm that upstanding, it's that joking about serious illnesses is particularly repugnant.

 

[Mr. Squirrel]

Coming from the guy who is always making jokes of peoples beliefs. Don't pretend to be so upstanding.

It's not so much that I'm that upstanding, it's that joking about serious illnesses is particularly repugnant.

I still laughed at your cancer-y comment, sorry. I just thought it was funny.
Don't have anything to say about the topic though, except for good luck OP, I guess.

 

[Headdrivehardscrew]

I personally do not feature the funbag that is bipolar disorder, but what I feel like contributing right now is this:

Thank you for addressing the issue, thank you for doing something about it.

An alcoholic that doesn't even attempt to handle his/her problem of choice makes the world a shitty place for everyone involved.

A bipolar person can have very similar effects on his/her own life, his/her most beloved and just about everyone in a random manner. A bipolar disorder that isn't treated is like walking around with a nuke that might randomly go off - again and again and again, with random, mostly very negative effects.

The manic days and nights might be used for something productive, but they tend to mess people up, as reason and sanity become just concepts that do not matter or plain don't apply. Being manic might scare off people, or it might make you hard to put up with, as your reality might become something completely different to what everybody else consents as being within acceptable range. Getting a grip on that bit, wanting to stay in control should make any individual life more fun and just plain more realistically viable. I've seen people pull themselves together during university, only to completely lose it after they've achieved their summa cum laude. Anything bad you can imagine, people are capable of doing, especially when mentally ill. Boyfriend left you? Get revenge by abducting his mother and giving her HIV! Teacher gave you a bad grade? Go break into his house, strip naked and slaughter a goat in his basement! ...some things sound 'funny' when wrapped up anecdotally, but they are usually absolutely not funny at all.

If the diagnosis of Type II holds up, your manic phases are 'just' hypomanic, meaning they are not as bad as they could be. Thing is, until you and your therapist know for sure what's going on, don't take any of it lightly, as even 'mild' mania can mess you up and disturb people well into shell-shocked territory. These days, AFAIK "Type II" mainly only means that you've never had an episode of full-on mania. As these things go, the really bad ones are bound to pop up when you least need them, such in times of heightened stress/anger/fear/emotional imbalance. Knowing that, or at least discussing it thoroughly with your healthcare professional of choice, you can - beyond medication - prepare. Remember the silly instructions we all get before the plane takes off? You need some of that for situations that might otherwise send you off on a trip to loopy land.

Then there's the flip side, the other bad side of things, that is just as bound to cripple you, make you no fun at all and put you in a shitty dark place - the depression. That one is a killer all by itself, and some people might have what is called 'mild' depressions, but if you find yourself sitting in the drawer of bipolar disorder already, I think it's really just common sense to do yourself a favour and get the best medication and therapy you can possibly get, as it facilitates... anything but failing. There are plenty of successful - and dare i say 'happy' - people out there with bipolar disorder, because they manage to keep a tab on things and themselves. Life is no piece of cake, but there is very little you can't achieve if you keep yourself well in check, as if you were your bestest of best friends even if, at times, you might not like yourself very much.

It is of prime importance to stick to the medication at all times. Even if you think it's giving you issues, headaches, whatever - do not alter the medication, do not stop taking the meds. Discuss things thoroughly with your healthcare professional. You might also want to keep a diary of sorts to better monitor yourself of changes (good or bad), and you might want to prepare for therapy sessions as if your life depended on them, because, in a sense, it really does.

Mildly related - not sure, but have you seen "Homeland"? Apart from the obvious subject matter, I think you might find it to be... inspiring.

Good luck.

 

[chiggerwood]

I'm Bipolar, but I can't remember which one it is though. I can't handle stress, I can't handle it when things go wrong, I can be pretty fractious and snappy, my mood swings every single fucking day between depressed to the point of questioning the existence of God, angry to the point that I just want to belittle and insult someone into tears (pretty much I just want to see them in pain and I want to know that I caused it), and ecstatic to the point of dancing. The worst part is when these moods mix together it's enough to make you want to rip off your skin.

I've wanted to put my hand through a window just to see my hand cut up and covered in blood because HEY! That would be funny I've had at least 1 psychotic episode, it turns out that I've been Bipolar for several years (I just got diagnosed about a year ago) and the worst part is that medicine will probably not work for me. The part of my brain that controls my emotions is damaged, and medicine will have a 99.9% chance of doing either A. nothing (highly unlikely) or B. make it worse (Very fucking likely),

I've had to and am still learning how to deal with my emotions when these situations hit. which usually means get the hell out of the situation, and do something to elevate my mood if possible, and to be open with my emotions to my mom who's the one helping me out with this and the woman's a saint for putting up with me, and all she says is "I'm your mother I knew what I was signing up for when I decided to have you. I knew that things could go wrong, and they did, but that doesn't mean I'm going to abandon you. You're not a burden you're my son." If you can find a better person than her, then you've found Jesus Christ walking around. I sincerely do not know how that woman puts up with me, or my tirades, but dear God I'm thankful that she does. Like I said she's a damn saint.

 

[Eamar]

Thanks for all the (serious) responses, I really appreciate it. Though a lot of the stories so far have been pretty bleak, I guess it's important to keep reminding myself of how this could turn out if I don't do everything I can to help myself, while the more positive experiences give me something to aim for, I guess.

So not really relevant to ya, unless you want to remember this for when you have kids.

That's is exactly what I thought.

Thanks for sharing your experiences. Having children isn't something I personally intend to do for all sorts of reasons, but I do always try to keep in mind how difficult this can be for those close to me.

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Sorry for snipping out some really insightful comments, but I don't really have time to respond to each one individually :/

I am definitely aware of the need for control and will most certainly be sticking to the medication I'll be starting soon. I've been desperate for meds for quite some time now, so believe me I'm not going to waste the opportunity once I find one that works for me, though I'm aware that'll probably take a while and I'll have to deal with all sorts of side effects at first (most likely). I learnt that lesson when I stopped taking anti-depressants, though in my defence I was taking the wrong drugs for the wrong disorder back then (like a lot of people, I was initially misdiagnosed with clinical depression).

I'm also fortunate in that my university has a world-leading research department dedicated to bipolar disorders, and that's where my psychiatrists are based so I'm in safe hands. In addition to the meds I'll be recording my moods religiously and sending the data to them for analysis, as well as being able to hopefully spot patterns and triggers myself to help manage the condition. I've also agreed to take part in a research project they're running involving brain scans, blood samples, all that jazz. I'm very serious about doing everything I can to get this under control and to help others do the same.

As far as support goes, I have a fantastic group of friends and am in the process of telling them about it individually. I've also chosen to inform my tutors. I don't want to make a huge drama about it, but equally I want to be open about it and let people know what they're getting into. Those I've told so far have all been very supportive and have asked questions if they didn't know anything about the condition previously. I'm incredibly touched at the effort my best mate is going to- he's been reading everything he can find about the disorder, the drugs I'm being prescribed, everything, so that he can help me through it all and look out for warning signs I might miss I'm glad we're a relatively big, close group (there are eight of us), as it means I'm not dumping all this on one person and hopefully won't put too much pressure on any individual. My boyfriend is also being fantastic; he's been with me two years and we live together when I'm not at university so he's really seen the full force of this; I think he's even more relieved than I am to have a diagnosis and treatment plan at last. I've also told him he can disclose anything and everything to his own friends/family as he sees fit, as again I don't want him to feel overburdened (as far as that's possible).

my best advice is to enjoy the hypomania while it lasts. its the only good part of the illness where you can still think claerly, have boundless energy and do not need sleep.

While I guess the hypomania can *sometimes* be enjoyable, I find it more scary unfortunately. I also tend to have more mixed episodes than straight up hypomania, which is absolutely grim

 

[Patrick Buck]

My best mate is Bipolar apparently. He takes Prozac and everyfink. Basically most of the time he's "Up" and happy, but every now and again he goes "Down" and get's really misrible. He manages it pretty well though, he never seems to have any problems with it.

Haven't seen him that much lately though, going to differnet schools now and all, but when I do see him he seems to be ok.